ACE BLOG MOBILE TABLE OF CONTENTS
(Yep, I'm cleaning all these words up. Not changing them. Because there is value and power and truth in the journey. The blogs are still on two pages, (original Ace Blog page #1-22, and the more recent Ace Blog Mobil #23-24), but now organized!:)
33) November 2025: The True Story of Surviving a Disguised Physical Attack by George Morris
(directly below)
Ace Blog Page (Mobile blog continued, i.e. the previous earlier blogs)
November of 2025 new Blog ...
The True Story of Surviving a Disguised Physical Attack by George Morris (and those that succumbed to him; the painful events I've yet to publicly cover, until now) ...
on Ace Blog Mobil
Preface
This is a hard story to write in detail; I couldn't even easily come up with a catchy descriptive title; as is normal for me. I had to write most of the piece first. The description of the last two & a half years of my life that have led me to where I currently am; which involves a nine month period of time & a series of events so surreal even I struggle sometimes to believe it really happened; feels impossible to accurately surmise. Yet it did happen. I lived it & I have the paperwork and the lack of a lifetime of carefully created & cared for ‘stuff’ to prove it.
At some point in my writing I discovered the best way to explain & perhaps even teach thru difficult & dark circumstances was to try to bring any humor you can find in any place you can find it, and insert it. Seek & bring forth the light … the joy … the smile in the worst of scenarios.
But this situation … this recent path I was tossed onto … has been a tough one to find any semblance of balance on (much less joy). It's been a hard road to make sense of. My entire life was turned upside down; through a series of betrayals among those I for the most part trusted, coming repeatedly from the same place; envy, jealousy & greed. This journey has shown me a level of hidden evil I would prefer to pretend does not exist, like so many of us I suspect.
I have resisted telling this story in its fullness & its completion. To tell it truthfully I have to expose everything … regarding myself and those I have traditionally been the closest to and have repeatedly long term done backflips to protect. I ignored the darkness as much as possible … so that I could live the life I wanted to in some semblance of peace, some of the time. I knew I had powerful enemies … one in particular named George Morris (a billionaire past Olympic coach I whistle blew on & thus was the hidden catalyst behind the permanent suspension of).
What I did not fully comprehend was the reach of the evil of this man, and all those willing to serve him. I knew he was a marketing genius (given the image he's internationally created regarding himself, versus the truth). What I did not comprehend is how this skill could include the attempt of a total & complete defamation & destruction of an innocent & good life; via unproven concepts & ideas backed by family & friends & peers willing to jump on board (as long as there was an easy pay day involved for them, and victory over a family member who was achieving status in spite of not playing by man's normal rules).
It's a painful realization … and one almost everyone seems to prefer to pretend never happened. Except I am living the results of this gross ongoing injustice. And as far as I can tell as long as I’m still breathing & fighting to ride another day (& to continue to be the horse woman I have proven myself to be through intense decades of repeated sacrifice); this man and all those willing to serve him continue in their ongoing attempt to completely snuff me out of existence on every level. His-their attack upon me is methodical … it's profoundly cruel in its quiet never ending prodding & psychological undermining … and it is unrelenting.
So, while I've been on the one hand willing to own more & more publicly the reality of what I've been thru (thru comments here & there & light summaries to interested parties, & more recently via even a Facebook post); on the other hand I've internally fought to keep the story
at an arms length.
‘I'll write a book and leave it to someone in a will & they can publish it after I'm gone,’ … has given way to ‘I'll tell the story next Spring,’ … has finally given way to ‘Write it down now & post it on your website.’ The full truth. Stop protecting people who stopped loving you a long time ago … and stop protecting your own wounds and image. Only the truth can set you free … and the more intense the darkness coming for your life is … the more that truth is required to break free of it.
So, here I reluctantly am. Facing the hardest writing project I've ever attempted. Because there is no real healing for me (& many others involved I suspect) or breaking through the wall of lies and never ending guerilla style warfare to find some semblance of justice, without it.
Living here in Ocala has been an eye opener for me. As I've described in past writings … I'm a powerful believer in the reality of our energetic beingness and the profound manner in which it is constantly affecting us. However we live in a physical world … and nothing brings clarity like the combination of physical proximity or closeness to a situation AND energetic awareness. The sport which my life has revolved around is very much seated & centered here. As I've been told repeatedly George Morris (& equally powerful friends) have been around … making his (their) presence known. From my perspective … throwing their weight around. And while that poisonous presence accepted by aspects of the sport (or he wouldn't be here) is painful … physical proximity has brought clarity.
It is my belief that our lives are influenced by both the spiritual missions we come here seeking to fulfill & the simple reality of the situations & environments we find ourselves living in. In my mind one of the greatest misunderstandings by typical western Christian thinking is the lack of understanding of reincarnation as one of the main foundations of physical life.
For me ‘we are eternal beings’ simply means the same energy … the same soul … lives beyond death by recycling constantly back thru life. Rising from the dead is nothing more than the eternal re entry of energy back into the physical … whether it happens in a man (or by the hand of a man) named Jesus … or by the birth of every living thing that comes to this planet … all of ongoing life is a continual rising of what was physically (yet not energetically) dead.
So, there are the spiritual implications of this path I've been on & the more obvious physical implications. For the sake of the journalistic training I received in California in my twenties… (& for the sake of arguing a case George & his pile of attorneys will no doubt be working to thwart online prior to us ever seeing a courtroom, as always) … I'm going to try to keep things as simple and hopefully as unbiased as possible and try to ‘just stick with the facts ma'am.’
This doesn't mean I won't be inserting my spiritual & energetic beliefs regarding these situations on occasion, because believe me I will be. It only means I will as much as possible allow the reality of the events that actually took place, to be front & center in this piece.
Back to the Beginning … Riding with Chris
After the reality of just how completely ‘George’ was after me (& some of those I became close to) became clear via my dealings with Hunter (Holloway) … 25 plus years after I met him while briefly riding under Chris (Kappler, his assistant) … it still took a bit of mind bending to fully understand exactly why. What about me set this man off so entirely? I mean why all the effort to end a professional career that particularly at the beginning, appeared to be of zero threat to him? It's only recently that another piece of that particular puzzle has fit into place.
During the end of my college career at UW-Madison, I dated and lived with a very wealthy man named Erik for about 5 years. Erik's family was from the Northeastern US & they had a highly successful large company in Chicago that was #1 in the world in producing its singular product. At the time, I didn't quite understand how small & well known the financial elite of the country was. Erik & I were serious. We were well suited to each other & happy, and could have easily become married.
What I didn't get is how much status this relationship garnered me in the sport of show jumping. I was incredibly naive, & honestly thought the one had nothing to do with the other. I'm not going to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say my willingness to walk away from a relationship in the manner I did seriously irked George. Where before while with Erik I was ‘in’ the right club … now not only was I not in … I had dared to defy the welcome of a world of elitism that women like me weren't allowed to reject (& almost never did).
While looking back on it now it does make energetic sense (I was feeling energetically poisoned by power I was not ready for), at the time it made no physical logical sense. And that move threatened George's sense of those with the money & power rule the world; not those (especially women) who simply work hard & fight to be the best at what they do. I had shown tremendous gall and a rebellious nature that needed to be squashed. I had defied him by being unwilling to put a spur on a horse (when King George had ruled all riders were to wear spurs) and I had defied the elite upper class by being willing to walk away from what appeared to be my life's lucky financial marital break.
In other words … Rose walked away from the wealthy suitor & kept the priceless diamond (the gift that was only really to be hers if she subjected her life to that marriage) & many in that class hated her for it (including the elitist half uncle in her own family). Fortunately for Rose in the movie Titanic … she wasn't forced to work with & compete against them ongoingly in the sport she happened to love. If she had been … trust me … they never would have given her the opportunity to live a long happy life completed by dropping that diamond into the bottom of the ocean. Her reputation would have been quietly poisoned from within & without & her attempt at a good life persecuted unendingly … and the gem stolen back a long time ago. Even though in my story I actually gave the diamonds back. But the damage (to the elite ego) was done. And trust me … unlike & opposite our creator in heaven … George & his kind are not the forgiving kind.
So … another mystery solved. That's more of the motivation behind the ongoing attack I describe in ‘Dropping the Bomb on George.’ Horsemanship is involved … but this goes deeper than that. This is about making sure the classes know their place; & the slaves don't even think about revolting.
Trust me guys… elitism & monarchies are alive & well and running the United States. And the American Dream, (when it locks horns with the upper class in one of its favorite pastimes such as the Sport of Kings as opposed to serving it), is for all intents & purposes a total & complete farce. As things stand right now in our current state of corruption, the American Dream is as dead as my career currently is; and what I have lived is proof of that simple fact.
The Family
This is the conversation I do not want to have. Even though my family has betrayed me in the most profound & devastating of ways, these truths are the ones I hesitate to dive into. They are the most painful … and the hardest to move past. This is the darkness that haunts me.
Not a past king of an industry I know through mostly indirect professional experiences … but my family that he went after & finally won to his side. Not because he was right or because what he said was true … but because they were being influenced by an elite family member within, wanted to be free of the fight they did nothing but criticize, and because they wanted to achieve the 'in' status by succeeding over me in the eyes of those who were already there.
Their egos wanted to stick it to Amy who was succeeding in her own way (happy, accomplished, known, owning valuable stuff) despite an unorthodox lifestyle & not playing by societies rules (a job you often hate, property that takes most of your money, a marriage you are not happy in, kids that drive you crazy half the time, social pictures describing your perfect life, etc) … and they wanted the property I was sitting on and the money George offered.. I was particularly enraging certain some elite horsemen by owning and developing bloodlines only I had, and daring to fight to not sell them at far below market value prices, just to barely survive and allow others to make money on my unending work. The farm in Wisconsin was no joke. In the last handful of years it was mostly me alone 24-7 … 365 days a year caring for 7-12 horses. Dealing with six months of below freezing and subzero temperatures, helping to take care of a very ill father with a lack of finances, and an aging facility and equipment. With very little but criticism and zero help coming from the bulk of my family.
I don't think the reality of the brutal series of events would have happened without just the right coaxing & just the right situation. A farm county (Vernon County, Wisconsin) that was totally corrupt and had been dipping into George's pocket (& getting away with it) for years on behalf of sticking it to Amy … and a family member (my mothers half brother) who had been part of the show jumping world and was a part of the elite upper class, a famous artist in his own right. This man by the end had nothing but disdain for me and my father. Where he had failed as a horseman, in spite of all his resources and support, I had succeeded. An overly confident woman who made it clear she did not need him or his kind. He was close in location and career to the darker side of the demographic I was up against; knew just how irked this group was (because he was one of them) … & had the in with me via family to get close to and put a knife through the heart of my work.
All that needed to happen was my father's death … and the sooner the better. Because I was Daddy's girl. Although Dad had a vicious temper and at times quite a mouth on him, at the end of the day he had my back & I had his. And as much as he loved my mother (some of the time, when she wasn't being as ‘mean as a rattle snake’) my father did not take bribes from bad guys. And he had no love for the dark elite upper class, within my family or anywhere else.
He had proven it via a black ops mission in which he led a unit in thwarting an attempted terrorist attack on the 1988 Olympic Games in South Korea, turning away from (and in to Uncle Sam) a bag of $10million cash the enemy was carrying, and he made sure I knew it. In other words, Dad quietly informed me the pressure had been on the family via certain relatives and George for a while. As long as my Dad was still breathing, it wasn't happening. Shortly after he died, and particularly after I proved my abilities as an international coach (she can do more than write, make nice Irish show jumpers & help the occasional student); George & crew jumped on the war path & the family went right along with it.
Cut Amy loose, and no more messy destructive horses, and no more claim to the farm or private property she bought & built & created. (& btw, a farm that would not still be there without me. Because if my father had gone to the nursing home prior to January 31st prior to his death February 15th, 2022, the farm would have been taken to pay the nursing home bill. My mother was terrified of losing it. Because Dad was falling down daily for months on end I was the only one on call 24-7 who could pick up his 200 plus pounds. We could not afford the nursing staff, the VA was fighting us on benefits which were not yet available, & my sister & brother were not around to help. By choice.)
George & crew played on my family's fears & greed & their own competitiveness & unfounded hatred towards & darkness regarding me. An older sister that at times rebuked her parents & younger siblings for bad behavior (& who was willing to turn a cold shoulder to more distant successful relatives who she found chauvinist and judgmental), but who always only ever clearly loved & supported them (in her unusual but still obvious way).
I can hear it now … from the elite family members & government officials. ‘George is dangerous. You do not want to go down with Amy. Separate from her … save the farm & yourselves & let her live the ramifications of the battle she chose to take on & drag all of you into. Take her out. Take the property. Take the money. We've all been doing it. It's impossible to prove. She deserves it anyway.’
Yeah whatever.
It's amazing what people can justify when it comes to how they want to feel and what they want to have; especially when they collect in agreeing groups (regardless of the truth of the situation). Somehow … doing evil in large agreeing cookie baking groups of family & friends makes it ok.
Again … yeah … whatever.
So yes …my family betrayed me … big time. Turned a blind eye to (and I believe engaged in) the drugging, baited me into the house (used my kindness against me) and perjured themselves in court under oath (lying & award level acting being nothing new for any of my direct family). They had me wrongfully arrested, chaptered me, evicted me, allowed my animals to be neglected and abused, and turned a blind eye (and I believe even enjoyed watching my suffering) as the scenario they started and put into motion was put on repeat, as I was tortured and robbed and chased down all over the country for the upcoming months and years.
So needless to say, I won't be coming home for Christmas ever Jeff (unless it involves someone other than me being arrested) & Mom, don't bother calling again ever. I'm not going to legitimize the horrendous behavior of your dark side for the millionth time by pretending like it never happened because you've decided it's time to sweep it all under the rug & be friends again. Not this time.
Where are all my horses? Where are my three cats? Where's all my stuff? Where's my furniture & dishes & jumps & clothes & equipment & property & indoor & rings & barn & stalls & car & yearbooks & photos … and all the stuff you stole by quickly & ruthlessly driving me out of my home of 20 plus years? Property & treatment I have & had legal right to that you just ignored because the corrupt local government encouraged you to. I don't think one horse trailer Dad bought for me covers it all.
You illegally evicted me with a note on my door (no court involved) … literally chased me out of town yet there was later a warrant for my arrest in Vernon County. No doubt because I didn't make a court date weeks after you removed me. Really? Talk about bad guys working to legitimize their evil corruption.
The entire group of you … how do you sleep at night? How will you ever face a God that knows the entire truth? Do you really think he's going to operate in the same way all the judges George bought did? Are you going to con God and Dad above watching it all, like the rest of the world? Good luck with that.
Finally … the truth …
So here's the truth folks. I am angry. And I haven't really given you the full reason why. Not in writing… not here. I've been too busy trying to wrap my repeatedly accosted & attacked mind around what actually happened. Why did my close knit family that at times played the part of loving support drop me faster than a scorching hot potato a year plus after my father's death? Why is this industry working so hard on the one hand to deny that I (or all the horses I produced) barely exist while on the other hand happily taking & using every drop of information I provide that helps them to win & succeed? What in God's name is actually going on?
While writing this, for the first time ever I went through & counted how many blogs I've written (not including this one). There are 31 blogs & 13 writings. Those are a lot of words guys. And some are long … long enough that I can't even think about reviewing them all here if I actually want to get all this good honesty out there any time soon. I prefer not to repeat myself, & it's obvious there are some major holes that need to be filled (& quite a bit of website organizing that could stand to happen). But the book some have encouraged me to undertake is already there. The story unfolds throughout the blog. I mean, it's pretty obvious what happened here.
The bottom line is, I've been skirting around the truth. Not the spiritual implications of what could or may be true regarding all of this, but the simple physical reality of the horror of what happened to me. George Morris (with help) has been trying to kill me. Amy dead and gone … means no more words and no more potential truth that unravels all his carefully hidden & disguised darkness. If he couldn't kill me (or strongly encourage me to kill myself) he could definitely torture me.
Once my father died & my family folded completely George could use his influence to take everything … and that is what he has almost done. And I'm not just talking about stuff … but the energetic strength that makes you who you are & encourages you to keep fighting. Confidence … believing you can push through & succeed no matter what … believing in who you are & what you are doing when groups of people you've traditionally cared about are working to delegitimize you so they can justify their deeply wrong actions.
Being up against a vicious powerful enemy with virtually unlimited resources, who has been a successful Olympic coach, takes the fight to another level. This man knows how to build competitors up, and how to tear them down, from the inside out. And he deeply understands the greed that motivates and brings out the darkness … and almost always in time wins over struggling people. He keeps poking and prodding over the years and decades and eventually wears them down.
A relationship with God & my animals and new friendships, that can be tenuous at best when deeply tested, are what have kept me going. Because I can not survive this (much less succeed) without the kindness & goodness & trust (somehow knowing the truth within) of virtual strangers (in the physical at least).
Fortunately, we are eternal energetic beings. And at the soul level, if we can get there in a society determined to keep us spiritually asleep, many of us know each other. We have lived & fought together lifetime after lifetime. And every once in a while … we remember each other & we save each other.
That is in part what I am doing here. I'm answering the call of what I believe is God inspired work. ‘Write it down, the truth of what happened, it is the only path forward;’ are words resounding from above running through my head. And I'm hoping folks will come to understand the truth of what I now know actually happened to me, and realize that this world is under a form of attack the likes of which it has never seen before.
Our lives are run online … and with enough money anything digital can be hacked and manipulated. Your ability to get a job, to manage a checking account, to fill a prescription, or to pump gas can be affected … easily. Every single thing that you experience or communicate on your phone can be tracked and observed by someone else. Small business & grassroots government is on the way out … large corporations that run & influence even larger demographics of people & places have and continue to take over.
There are those in the in, the societal elite, that hold financial power within these organizations, & everybody else. Biological warfare is real … & it is quietly happening all around us, all of the time. Our bodies are being manipulated; by the air we breath & the food & water we injest. We are being quietly & carefully controlled daily at the physical level, not just the spiritual energetic level, all of the time. And for the most part we are completely unaware. Because most of us are so busy just trying to stay on top of it all.
The logistics of these events …
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In November of 2017 I wrote the piece ‘Dropping the Bomb on George.’ I just re-read it for the first time in forever, and realized it was shockingly honest & brave, given who I now even more clearly know this man (& his kind) to be.
But I left some things out. As I've been doing all along I've realized. Why? Because I write out of inspiration, and there is no future anything if you find yourself removed from the board of life. And this fight is complicated. A spiritual mission I came here to take part in, whether I like it or want it or not. Evil must be exposed & fought. And if some of us, those aware & able, are not willing to take on that fight, then as it quietly takes over our lives & our society & our world, we are responsible. Regardless of your beliefs, mankind has clearly inherited this world. It is ours to care for or destroy. And there are very real time consequences in the here & now, both energetically & physically, to turning a blind eye as the darkness of hidden destruction & greed takes over.
2. In October of 2018 I go before a hearing in front of USEF (the US Equestrian Federation) in Lexington, Ky… a panel of attorneys and board members and those that help run the organization. I'm there under the precept of disputing some financial action taken against me. But we all know the real reason I'm there. I have a career and blog that has been gaining the sport's attention (against all odds because I do not come from the financial elite) and I am the first Grand Prix rider to publicly challenge George Morris. I've challenged him via the story I wrote above, and now I'm before this intimidating panel in person to talk about what I've been through at his hands. I've written down & documented 20 plus instances (most of which they are well aware of) that prove my case … and there is one in particular that has their attention (which I have not publicly spoken of before).
I state in writing that looking back with clearer perspective I believe Niall Grimes, my Irish imported trainer-grand prix rider who I rode under who died (practically under my nose) of a heart attack at the age of 31 at a horse show at the Kentucky Horse Park in October of 2007, was actually murdered by George Morris & crew. We were working together obviously, Niall was clearly shielding me from George's attack, and there looked to be a future partnership between us. Niall had already acquired an amazing amount of success within the sport. He filled professional gaps for me … and though not as obvious at the time … I potentially did the same for him. He-we were a threat … and that threat was eliminated by Niall's death. In my heart … I know this accusation is true. And believe me when I tell you … I am far from the only professional in the sport that feels this way. I believe USEF came to the same conclusion. Or was at least convinced enough it may be true to want to wash their hands of the situation entirely.
USEF appeared to be kind, empathetic & understanding. They seemed to take the accusations seriously … and I left that hearing with a surprising & new found respect for the organization.
3. In July of 2019 I travel to California and spend a week pitching a large group of extremely high powered investors for funding regarding my business, Ace Sport Horses. I'm sure if I can find the funding to get back to the shows, I can prove the quality of the horses & the bloodline & bring the business (& my career) strongly into the financial black. I befriend one key influential individual who tells me ‘Amy, investors do not like scary stories, & you just told one.’
I do not get the funding, but I do make some new friends. And I do for the first time publicly expose outside of the horse industry the rarity of what I've been statistically doing within the sport, and the methodology I've been up against regarding George Morris and those that work with him.
4. Two weeks later, in August of 2019, George Morris was permanently suspended.
He’s suspended on charges of child molestation. Safe sport becomes a huge thing, USEF enacts a code of conduct all members must sign (and just prior to the hearing at the USEF quarters; I was complaining about there being practically nothing in their thousands of pages of regulations regarding trainer conduct; by which I could legally hold George liable for). And let's be honest, the entire sport then shifts. In appearances at least. George tries to appeal, USEF denies it based on the severity of the molestation charges, and history is made. A billionaire gold medaled Olympic coach (the godfather of the sport, the clear King up until this moment) is, on paper at least, cast out of the Sport of Kings.
George stated in the original New York Times article published November 19, 2019, something along the lines of ‘the rumors I end professional careers is not true.’ Now its online version has changed, stating people stayed quiet (because those child molestation rumors regarding him have been around for decades) out of fear for his ability to make or break careers.
Yeah well … attempted murder or murder will definitely break a career, for starters. As I've learned the hard way, a little (or a lot of) public defamation, exile to the far North, it being nearly impossible to sell great horses for anything close to the going rate, and trainers and USEF officials that support you just happening to have mysterious & untimely deaths; is how George handles you when you're a mild irritation.
Things can get a whole lot uglier. Because this man has patience. He will set you up … take the time to take out (or wait for the death of) every ally … and let everyone forget about who he really is (as the reminds them of the unending benefits of being his friend); as he methodically and consistently works to upend your entire life, from the inside out.
And well, if you just happen to not survive the whole ordeal, it's not our fault she's dead. Because she just wanted the torment to end & killed herself, or crashed while driving a huge truck & trailer around on some mysterious drug, or her highly stressed system shut down while subjected to the same. She's clearly got problems (which we've all been saying all along) … so how is that our fault? And if you think it is … prove it.
Again… yeah whatever George. Eventually the truth is obvious. Every stranger I've told this story to knows who you are. The only ones questioning the reality of it are those receiving benefits. And even they aren't so much questioning the truth of the situation, as taking advantage of it. But let's keep the proof going. Let's see if I can live, through the power of the pen, that 'faith over fear’ bumper sticker. Regardless of how well you (& your kind) have trained me up to be terrified of this society & life. And to never ever really delve into the details of all of this.
5. 2019-2021- for first time in my life, I completely stop showing horses
I realize that George being suspended hasn't really changed much. If anything … It has made my professional life even harder. While before I had some support & was getting to the shows a bit, now folks seem to realize even a working class woman from Wisconsin is capable of influencing things. I become even more hated by friends of George, he's working harder at & making it more profitable for professional peers to ban me, and I find it impossible to show at all for nearly three years.
6. Summer 2021 - i start showing lightly again.
Friends start encouraging me to come back to the shows. I'm tentative, because without supporting clients, for a real professional that actually needs to make money, showing is a financial death trap. But I have horses I can possibly sell & skills. I still love the sport and have stayed connected in my own way via blogs, and it feels nice to be missed and wanted (on any level).
So I start lightly showing again. It's hard and I can't really afford it, because every time I develop clients & potential business at the shows other trainers (even past friends) attack and swarm us and end any potential positive business opportunity. George is alive & well and making life very hard. Many of these pros are doing his bidding, and it's obvious. The horse show managers fortunately are acknowledging it as well. As they amazingly & miraculously forgive owed bill after owed bill. Instead of being suspended, I'm being uplifted by some aspect of the professional sport that understands what I've been (& continue to go) through. There is support. And there is hope.
7. Hunter and a new pro friend I just made at the harvest show make a run on the World Cup Championship qualifier in Las Vegas in November 2021.
The world cup championships are my favorite international event to keep an eye on. Those indoors are hard to jump big rounds in (I know, as I've had enough experience dealing with winter and indoors.) It takes an impressive level of riding & horsemanship, & seems to be less inundated with the politics I feel so often over run international equestrian sport. It seems in this particular championship if you and your horse are good enough, you can have a real shot at winning.
I haven't been thrilled with Hunter's political maneuverings that I ended up on the back side of, but I do understand them. The mare I sold her is doing well … loved and cared for by a new owner working to do the right thing. Almost no aspects of our bill of sale contract have been adhered to, but the most important non verbal aspect has been. The horse is good. And there is that eternal spiritual relationship coming into play again.
We haven't spent a lot of time together (& George has been all over her ever since I took a serious notice & we hooked up) but this kid knows me. And I know her. She wants to stand out, and regardless of it all, I want to do whatever I can to help her in that ambition. I watched her ride Deluca, a horse I made & knew intimately well, & now I'm watching her and Pepita. I'm seeing things I know could be helpful.
But who am I? I've never even ridden FEI. Of course I know that's just money (& George). Given the real opportunity I would have been there. The question is do they know it? Somehow Hunter seems to.
So, two people I know are in this class, and it officially has my serious attention. Hunter wins it … brilliantly … and now I am fully engaged. Emotionally. She could win this thing … and I know how to help if she needs it. Hunter ends up I believe 11th in the finals in April of 2022. That is a really good start (as I've been watching riders I know in this event for years). Maybe she'll try again next year … it's definitely worth keeping an eye on.
8. Dad dies in February of 2022
Sometimes you just don't know how much of an impact a person has made on your life until they are gone. My father's leaving changed everything … the whole world felt different. And it was. I just didn't know it yet. Just like Thor, my father had been holding back the darkness in ways I was completely unaware of. His love & support & life, even from severely disabled, made all the difference. There were forces at work, pressures and potential plans within my family, that I was completely obvious to. There was jealousy and envy within the ranks … alot … and I just didn't really believe it was powerful enough to inspire the personal attack and resultant changes that came.
When you do what you love, when you’re fortunate enough to be surrounded by that which fully satisfies you from within (which the farm & the horses and the love from people that were there enough did for me), sometimes you believe the lie others are putting forward regarding their lives. To put it frankly, good guys get screwed because they don't understand the depth of the darkness that is surrounding them, because they simply don't KNOW IT.
My life on the outside looked pretty rough a lot of the time. The fight with George and my family's attitude towards it had taken a serious toll … on every level. But I had my work and that which I had built, and I had hope. And I was usually happy & hopeful from within. And those that should be happy, who had all the appearances of success, were seething regarding it all. The darkness within my family & community was festering & plotting. Infected by the master himself … who had been waiting & working for just the right opportunity and the right motivation. And in April of 2023 we gave it to him.
9. Hunter wins a bronze in the World Cup Championship finals in Nebraska in April of 2023 … with no small amount of my help (in other words, if we are being honest, it would not have happened without Amy wearing her new International coach hat)
I've written an entire blog about this thing. So I'm not going to go into a ton of detail here. I am, however, going to say a few things that will hopefully help to clear the air.
Friends in the know (who were connected to those who were actually at the event) knew my help was real. They called me and congratulated me on my future career bump as an influencer in the winning of international medals. The total shut down of this new likely reality came a little later.
And I'll admit; it did happen in a strange way. During the competition the texts from me were one way. I'd send the text to mom… Hunter would do exactly (almost too exactly sometimes) what I asked her to do. And tge reality of this working strategy was painfully obvious to me as I was watching the class unfold … so there was no need to respond. And I knew why. Why we had to do it this way (& this now seems to be standard operating procedure for an unpaid & unacknowledged coach Amy) & why it didnt matter.
And now, as so much has been ongoingly proven by & to those in the know regarding the weird energy stuff, I can talk about it.
One, we have a murderous psychopath billionaire (and all those close to me who have supported him in his highly illegal behavior) having a meltdown over any potential of me garnering any foothold or status within the industry (financial or otherwise) because if there is ANY JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD he & his friends all belong in jail.
Two, because we all COMMUNICATE
reading energy much of the time anyway; so half the time we don't really need to talk (& as it turns out horsemen are particularly good at this sort of thing). And three, because when the full truth regarding this situation comes out to the masses of regular folks (or even a fraction of them), it has the potential to be so transformative and enlightening that even with all of George's power, & all of those (some equally powerful) that have chosen to side with him, it will not be enough to avoid the consequences regarding the wrongness behind this situation being known.
For starters, bribery, attempted murder, illegal drugging (& manufacturing of drugs), theft, actual murder, child molestation, hiring hackers to track & influence and destroy a life, hiring public official after public official to chapter and incarcerate & evict and to destroy every legal right a certain innocent person has ever had; and frankly more crimes then I can probably possibly imagine; is completely and totally illegal. It is illegal by man's law, and by God's.
But the people are collectively subjected to it all the time by the financial elite that run this world. While some are going to jail for 10 years for selling the wrong naturally occurring mushroom on the street corner, the people that run our society are often doing far worse, and getting away with it. Unendingly. And those of us normal people that have touched that world through something like the sport of kings … i.e. the sport of show jumping … KNOW IT.
These are DANGEROUS EVIL men. They have no ethics, they have no morality and they do not fear God (like many of us.) In their minds they are Gods, which makes the true creator their enemy. And they behave accordingly.
So if you are aware & if you enjoy living on planet earth & want to continue doing it … you tread cautiously. You do not intentionally infuriate one of their hidden leaders. Which is who George Morris is, and what I have done. Particularly if you've ever taken any help from George, you don't knowingly communicate (or conspire which is how George would see it) with the person who is working to expose him. Not unless he gives you permission. And right now, lines are so blurred, things are so heated as I'm determined and feeling inspired to push through all the darkness here, that the safest bet is to just avoid the whole thing. And nobody gets that desire better than me. Hence this being written years after the fact.
So why did I take my life to this fight? I plead five parts ignorance (like most average working class folks I didn't really get it) and I plead five parts because it is what I am on this planet to do.
We all have our god given jobs (whether we accept them or not). And one of mine is to expose and work to eliminate the quiet hidden evil that is destroying our world and society from the inside out.
But I can not do it alone. And as this fight continues to escalate, it feels as if I may not even survive to tell the story, alone. So I'm telling it here & now, in its fullness, while I still can. As inspired by the big guy himself. Because if this show continues to be a one man band …if I'm the only one willing to take this darkness on publicly … it is guaranteed I am going to lose.
I have had help … a lot of it … from many places. Which is the only reason I'm still here. But now that help needs to come from within the industry. More of the truth needs to become obvious. Hopefully, what I'm doing here, and the truth of what I've gone through, will inspire that reality, & not scare folks away from it. If you like to jump farm animals over large piles of wood, you don't scare so easily. And I'm quite sure that is what we are banking on.
2nd preface
As I’m about to get into the specifics of what actually happened, I feel it's important that I reiterate some beliefs. This attack was deeply subterfuged, and it's been difficult to discover the truth behind. I was manipulated by master illusionists (both close and far) … and for the longest time I truly did not understand what was being done to me. It was scary stuff … and I was unprepared.
If I'm writing it down here … I've through careful investigation and experience on multiple levels … come to feel 99% certain it is the truth. But what makes enemies like George (devils disguised as angels of light, because they once were angels of light) so difficult to understand & expose is their powerful ability to hide in plain sight. The one hand is committing unimaginable atrocities against that which they consider to be a threat needing to be dominated or subdued or eliminated (& that person's or child's innocence or goodness has zero influence on these decisions) and the other hand is convincing those closest to them that they are the kindest bright soul in the world. A misunderstood benefactor & sportsman (or supportive mother or wise sister or protective brother) that would never dream of harming a family member, or fellow professional horsemen, or child, or whatever.
These people, his kind, are energetic chameleons. That which runs their life and determines the real fruit of their tree (harming innocent goodness or protecting it; ie doing the will of God or the will of his enemy); the true color of that black lizard at rest, is not easy to discover. Because chameleons are so adept at fitting into their surroundings; they can turn green (or appear good) and hide their blackness, whenever it suits them.
And their true color changes over time. Your family who was once bright and good, at least part of the time, has now changed. They've grown tired of the fight, and have given in to the darkness. They want easy comfort & security & the appearance of success … and they are willing to sell their souls to the devil to have it.
When you sell out to the dark, the price you pay instantly is a darkened soul. Now you've lost your connection to the light, to God & clarity, and you don't even know what color you've become. To be energetically dark is to be confused about the truth of who & what you are; and who and what you serve. You can not serve money and God. If you've sold a good guy down the river for an easy dollar, no matter what excuse you come up with to legitimize that behavior, you have darkened your soul. You have become something other than what you were created to be.
And the wages of that sin, that darkness you've welcomed into your being, is eternal death. Because to allow your bright God created soul to become dark for any physical reason is to choose eternal death. It is a choice you have made. And the fault lies squarely on your shoulders. It doesn't matter how irritating or infuriating or wrong you’re convinced that person who deserved to be betrayed was (or how many people were in agreement with you), at the end of the day the decision to be dark (by doing evil) was yours alone.
The point is, it was a confusing experience. And it wasn't only confusing for me. I was drugged. The drugs were hidden, difficult to detect (beyond any technology I was subjected to), and extremely powerful. I know George had been working my little farm town community over, for a long time. Beginning with Cradilo’s lawsuit, government officials were being well paid to keep me down. And over the years … and they were repeatedly getting away with it.
So, while I know people were lying and manipulating & baiting & being coached & accepting bribes, I don't know how many of them were aware of the drugs. I suspect some suspected … because information had come down the pike that Amy was about to have an unpleasant life altering experience. The officials within the community, and especially my family, seemed prepared for my undoing. But I think the reality of the intensity of it (& God's surprisingly strange public reaction through me, which was a protection of sorts from the intense attack of something profoundly dark) was probably a bit of a shock to many.
So, as I describe these events, I don't know who was a bad guy on the in, how much on the in they were (how well or if they were being paid to harm me) and how much they actually knew. Or who simply got caught up in the wave of weirdness that I (& in some way we) were forced to ride. It doesn't change the reality of the series of unethical & illegal events that happen. Every citizen of this country, regardless of your societal status, has certain rights that are meant to be protected. And every single one of mine was obliterated repeatedly by this experience. George Morris & his kind, making sure I and everyone else watching knew, we have the power to do whatever we want. To whoever we want, whenever we want.
Finally, I had a lot of bad experiences with a lot of officials; with cops, doctors, judges, family & friends who ignored me when I asked for help; as powerful men & women with resources closely watched all this unfold. This does not mean all cops & doctors & judges & people with resources or money or big businesses are bad. My more recent experience in Ocala of feeling somewhat safe (all things considered) I believe comes from understanding my situation and an extra ‘keeping an eye out for me’, by those exact same officials & classes of people. While darkness has infiltrated every aspect of our society, goodness tends to be in those exact same places in equal & opposite measure. It's the method by which spirit maintains some form of energetic balance, so the world doesn't spiral into oblivion while we are figuring things out.
Do not judge people by their professions or by how they look or by what they have. Only God knows the true color of their souls … and understands the why. If you have to know them (to interact with or survive them) test them by the fruit of their tree. What are their actions … when it's hard. Who is the widow that puts all her money in the church plate … not the wealthy man who puts far more in (but which amounts to almost nothing to him). How much is given with no or very little hope for return, and to whom, when the stakes are high? Those actions are the fruit of the tree, by which we should discover each other in the here & now. And they are the exact measure by which each of us will be judged when we leave this place.
Logistics - continued
10. May 2023 - Hundreds of detailed educated sounding pages come out online defaming me, according to my family. I never actually read them, but my mother strongly encourages me to write a blog (& that is a first for anyone in my family) to defend myself.
11. I write the blog ‘Conspiracy Theories online on Amy Hunter’ to counter all of the online accusations; basically stating Im a regular good guy who has never been in any real trouble, that produces show jumpers and trains riders. I'm good at what I do and have a good eye, which I've proven in the show ring with my own horses repeatedly for decades (& yes, I can even help international riders win medals.) So what? … and why all the attack?
The thing I find most interesting regarding this blog is that every single detail I wrote to defend myself regarding this unending online attack I had been dealing with at the hands of George & friends for years on end, they worked to systematically tear apart with their next move. Looking back on it now it's so obvious to me. Between my horsemanship, my writing and the truth of who I was by the lifestyle I lived (one very simple, of survival, being satisfied with the work I loved and a few people to interact with; & not a lot of fun as the years went on & things got harder) despite all of George's status and money & power, he couldn't beat me. He had to remove me from what I had built (by removing all local support) and tear me down from the inside out, by the reputation of the strength of who I was from within.
12. Mid-June 2022- I have what it turns out is a drug induced psychotic episode the likes of which I didn't
even know was possible.
It's terrifying & confusing and for some mysterious reason I'm inspired to hole up in the barn taking care of my horses & post online. Rather than my family reaching out to help me & find out what's going on (after days in end of this); they completely ignore me & use the experience to bait me into breaking into the farm house (worried about my mother who will not come out, after taking care of my parents for years) and have me arrested.
How do I know finally it was a drug induced experience? Because it's the only thing that makes sense, and because it's how these people operate. For them frankly, it is standard operating procedure. The dark and powerful and elite fear more than anything, being caught & held accountable. So, when they have a problem in the form of a single person (especially a whistle blower), obvious attacks & attempts on their lives are the last thing they want.
Drugging horses is standard operating procedure. USEF, the FEI and other regulating agencies simply can not keep up with the new and interesting drugs these wealthy horsemen (some who own pharmaceutical companies) are coming up with. It now takes a $10 - $30k drug panel to test for the new & interesting drugs they are using (particularly in Europe) to hide lameness & behavioral issues. How do I know? Because I have had friends who are trainers importing top horses and USEF stewards.
And as it turns out, between the multiple professional human and horse deaths within the industry I am highly suspicious of (and I am not alone in those suspicions) and my own experience, I know it is not just the horses they are using these drugs on. The substances are invisible, work through the skin or the air, and can be easily transmitted. If you touch the wrong item or breathe the wrong air, you have been infected. Biological warfare is the new warfare of our current society. Because it is so hard to trace and to prove.
And it's the only thing that makes sense because there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. Other than the grief and trauma of surviving a clear attempt on my life coupled with the betrayal of so many I knew & loved and a supposedly democratic society that completely failed in its mandate to protect its citizens right to freedom & justice (trauma I will admit is no small hurdle to overcome) I am just fine. I'm as grounded and normal as I've ever been. I held an at times labor intensive & challenging job in Kentucky for a year on the backside of all of this, and I was my dependable hard working normal self. Who was appreciated as a good employee.
Why? Because I walked away from all of it. The loss of four horses and my home & so much of my property. The betrayal of most friends & family. And I just let go of the dream of being a professional horseman who loved what they did, who continually proved they were great at it, & who hoped to someday have a financially solid lifestyle as a result. A status that has come well and hard earned. In other words, I let George and everyone else involved win.
So, as long as I stayed away from the sport and my fantastic and valuable horses (who prove who I am), as long as I stayed away from his riders & proteges and that which he considered to be his territory, they left me alone. Kind of.
No more wild psychotic episodes. That felt exactly like a trip on acid or mushrooms (which I'll admit I've experienced in my 20s less than a single handful of times). Beyond that and an occasional and rare legal drink or growing more & more legal rare smoke, I do not use illegal drugs. But I remember and know what they feel like (which is why it was such a short lived and not repeatedly sought out experience). And this particular recent hallucinogenic experience was off the charts. Back in the day when I experimented … The experience lasted a few hours. This trip I was recently sent on lasted days & into weeks. It was so strong I am convinced it was attempted murder.
I know of another well known successful female trainer in California who went through something similar. I was at a horse show and men I do not trust as ‘good guys’ kept talking about this professional woman going crazy & how sad it was. Looking back on it now, I believe they were threatening me on behalf of George. Because of all the other troubles from officials I was having at that exact same venue. So you do the math and it all starts to add up.
While drugged, I was aware of everything happening to me in the normal physical world, but I was also seeing energy. There was darkness all around coming at me in various forms. At the same time I felt the light of God sort of swarming around to protect me. I was praying non stop, because I spent so much of that time confused and scared, but I also just sort of rolled with it and tried to let God carry me through the experience. I was seeing what felt like alternate timeliness and possible futures, and it was hard to make heads or tails of any of it.
I tried to understand what was happening … but in truth I didn't understand any of it. A part of me thought maybe I was going crazy, a part of me thought something incredibly evil & hard to pinpoint was after me, and a part of me felt like God was communicating with and protecting me non stop. I had some wild experiences. I was getting very little sympathy or support or understanding from those surrounding me, and it left me feeling very isolated.
Looking back now, the explanation is simple. They (and by they in truth the first experience I believe was at the hands of my mother) drugged me with something so new age and intense (& definitely not legal), that I shouldn't have survived it. Not coupled with the ongoing attack of bribed corrupt people & officials surrounding me and the amount of responsibility I was dealing with in terms of animals & finances and not having a stable home or work.
So I was and am not crazy. I was, however, definitely delusional and powerfully under the influence of an unknown drug. And I was definitely under the attack of a very hidden and powerful evil on multiple levels. And I believe without the help of the energy of God directly and a select few people doing his work on my & my animals behalf, I-we never would have survived the ordeal. I don't think we were meant to survive it. Not one time and certainly not drugged three times. And my business, which revolved around horses (valuable and rare stallions in particular) I worked my entire life to breed and develop, did not survive it.
13. June 22, 23 - I'm arrested and put into Vernon County Jail.
This entire thing was ridiculous. My family put an alarm in the farmhouse for the first time ever. I had been taking care of my dying father in particular, but both my parents alone, for years. Finding them having fallen down somewhere and needing my help was a common experience. I'd bet my life the alarm had been set up by my brother. They drugged me, completely ignored me, and when I went to the house because I was worried about my mother (after wandering around outside and honking the horn for 20 minutes trying to get her to come out) I finally broke the alarm to stop it and broke the screen door to get in.
My mother finally came running down stairs and called the cops on me. It was a total set up. She later lied in court, and stated I had picked up something heavy and metal (an item she never described because it does not exist) and held it to her head. I was on the other side of the kitchen table from her the entire time, and I have only ever supported my parents on that farm. She was coached by officials after the fact, and it was obvious. The sheriff's kept asking me about some shotgun (one of my dads i assume) that they could never find. They were looking for reasons to justify their behavior. And their behavior was unjustifiable.
The same sheriff's department I worked for for almost three years as a transportation & correctional officer, treated me as if I was an international terrorist on my own family farm. And I was a good employee for them. By the end I was a slightly burnt out employee (working two nearly full time jobs for years on end will do that to you), and I was a bit fed up with hearing stories of their mild corruption from the locals, but they honestly couldn't complain. What they could do is take me off the schedule mysteriously without any explanation and then spread the rumor that I had done something wrong and been fired. Which was not true. But I was ok with no longer working there. For various reasons. Looking back on it now I realize … the insidiousness of George … in one form or another … was inserting itself into this situation. Which in my book meant it was time to move on.
So, after my mother calls the cops I'm in a delusional state but just kind of hanging out alone barefoot in shorts and a t- shirt in the yard of the house and three cop cars come storming up. One guy gets out with a long rifle and has it pointed at me from behind some tree, and a couple others are surrounding me. I have a conversation with one of the cops (& make very little sense im sure) & they cuff me and drag me into the jail I worked in for so many years. I'm past friends with half the officers. But they still lock me down in a chair tight and leave me there for hours. It seemed I wasn't the only one having some kind of a melt down (because ive never seen them do that to any other inmates in all my years of working there) but that is an inside joke that I'm going to keep that way for the purposes of this story.
Which brings me to re-iterating what I said before. I think some people were in the know (or at least suspected I had been drugged at the encouragement of the billionaire horseman they were taking bribes from) and some were not (myself included obviously). I can tell you definitively whatever George has been dosing me with isn't screened by the five drug pee panel most county jails use these days. So there were friends (some closer than others) who were as freaked out by the whole thing as I was. And used their power to react accordingly, right or wrong.
14. June 23, 23 - I'm chaptered by my family and sent, against my will, to Gunderson Behavioral Psychiatric Ward
My mother & sister & brother collect together & chapter me (without speaking to me or looking at me one time through this entire ordeal). This is the family I've spent every holiday with for my entire life. They will not acknowledge what I am going through, or what our relationship has been for years, in any real way. They have emotionally written me off, instantly.
I've seen this behavior before; among high school friends & clients & working students. It's what Cradilo’s owners did after George got to them prior to suing me for the stallion's return to them (by paying them off, hiring their lawyers, or whatever); and it's what professional friends & clients & students have done repeatedly over the years. They take the bribe in whatever form it comes in, and whole heartedly buy the George lie regarding Amy to legitimize their behavior.
And they then betray me, by taking the horse or calling the cops or chaptering me or spreading rumors or leaving or doing whatever evil to the same person five minutes ago they were pretending like was their friend (mom, as one long time student called me, or sister or daughter or trainer or coach or horse whisperer, as Cardilo's owner used to call me, or whatever.) This level of betrayal & a collective switching of gears works best with a complete disconnect. To them, you no longer exist as a person. You are toast because the powerful forces that be say so, and you are out.
15. June 28, 23 - A Richland Center County Judge finds probable cause to keep me in the psych ward
I had asked my public defender to have my case switched out of Vernon County because I was convinced correctly the entire county government where I had been living for two decades, from sheriff to DA to judge had been long term collectively bribed by George to do me harm. Thankfully, as you'll discover later, this attorney accomplishes this task. If not, I quite possibly would still to this day be locked up in some psych ward or jail in good old Wisconsin, USA.
16. July 6, 23 - I'm back at court in front of the Richland County judge - the Vernon County DA tries to have me put on psych probation for six months (in other words, you and your freedom belongs to us)
We catch a psych doctor from Gunderson Lutheran in the act of falsifying an evaluation regarding me. This doctor submits to the court, prior to ever meeting me, a detailed evaluation based on a 30 minute interaction we supposedly had. Supporting of course the other online doctor evaluation, stating I need to continue on with probation. Finally, I have caught a professional in the act of being bribed by George. And it is documented (at least the illegal behavior, if not the bribe.)
After my attorney & I discover this error, the doctor ive never met shows up & chases me down through the psych ward, yelling that it was a mistake, & can he please do the evaluation now prior to court. I run away and lock myself into my room, yelling no way, you are corrupt; and I won't come out until he leaves. I then explain the situation to one of the observing nurses, & get her to sign a document describing the event, because otherwise who is going to believe it (kind of like being drugged into oblivion three times in nine months)? Yeah … collecting evidence for a future case and justice you've been dreaming of for decades … that is definitely the behavior of a crazy person.
This honest judge (the first I've come across in the state of Wisconsin at least, unless they are of bankruptcy court ) is dumbfounded by a pre submitted evaluation. The doctor present as a witness (who falsified the evaluation) is casual & states it was simply a clerical error. The judge mentions something about the horror of the reality of counties rubber stamping patients into systems, and by the grace of God, dismisses the case.
17. July 7, 23 - I am released from Gunderson Behavioral
18. I come home (via a Lyft ride) after this horrendous ordeal to a restraining order & an eviction letter from my mother.
There is no court date, no legal proceedings, no concern for the legal document both my parents signed that gives me full ownership of the 8 stall barn I live in and have invested tens of thousands of dollars into remodeling. Just a hand written note stating you are out … and do not come back unless its to get your stuff and leave. And don't worry about your five horses (two of which are valuable stallions) that are here. We … who know absolutely nothing about them (my mother & random neighbors) will take care of them.
I had no money. I had nowhere to live. I had just gone through a horrendous ordeal. Almost everyone I knew seemed to want to completely ignore me … and I was turned away & exiled by a community I had lived in for 20 plus years. They all just assumed my family and the sheriff's department & the court must be right, and I must be wrong. It was an unexpected turn of events I was unprepared for, and it set the stage for a future of being evicted & illegally evicted and locked up & robbed that would be my hell for the next year.
My family & community threw me and my animals out of our home to the wolves over envy (jealousy, competitiveness), fear & greed. And an unwillingness to acknowledge and support the obvious right side of a fight with a vindictive billionaire I whistle blew on (who was struggling to permanently remove me from the sport) and stand up to bad guys. Because under that sort of pressure it's easier and more gratifying to secretly become the bad guys. Who by all appearances, are the winners. They did it in a brutal, illegal, unwarranted manner, and they got away with it. And they crushed me, on every level. And demonstrated to the entire world that they could, and they would get away with it. They were rewarded for their bad behavior, and I was punished. Period. End of story.
19. July 20, 23 - i move into my horse trailer on the fair grounds (as the one friend i was staying with is struggling with the stress of the situation and my dog who his cat is terrified of)
20. July 28, 23 - I sell KC to a chicago trainer who has been respectful & fair to me in the past, & who appears to rescue me once again
Because I have to get out of Vernon County. I am traumatized and for the most part I feel alone and unwelcome. Hallucinogenic episodes coupled with online posting by somewhat known and famous community members do not go over well in small conservative Wisconsin farm towns. My mother has convinced these people she is the victim of my insanity … and they are 100% behind her. At one point she calls me stating one of the stallions is loose and she can't catch him, and when I show up to answer her call, she (& or one of the neighbors) has the cops come to arrest me again. Three or four cop cars show up and I am left in the backseat of a car handcuffed for at least 30 minutes, and then they finally release me with more warnings & threats.
I am being played and tortured by the darkness that has taken over this place constantly… and my animals are suffering for it. My dog was left outside in the barn the entire time I was in the hospital, my little makeshift apartment upstairs was ripped to shreds by the cops, and everything is in disorder. Every time I show up to pack or take care of animals I'm dealing with cops that don't want to be there and are not happy, and I'm getting zero help from anyone I know.
So I take what I can fit in my truck and trailer with the horses left and leave. There was not a lot of room and almost no help. So 20 years of property on a 135 acre farm & a car are left behind. And I feel deeply betrayed and robbed. But given the way things were going, I feel lucky to have gotten away with my freedom, my horses & my dog. What happened to my three loved barn cats that simply did not have the room or the energy to take, I do not know. But I wonder. And if I had to guess, given the way my family treated me and my dogs and my horses, I honestly don't want to know.
21. July 30, 23 - I leave Viroqua, Wi
22. August 4, 23 - I move to a farm & air bnb in Traverse City, MI
The idea is to go to the Traverse City Horse Show and sell a horse or two. I did not accomplish this mission in its entirety. I managed to make some Michigan friends and sell some percentages of a stallion. The new friends were good … but I would have been far better off leasing or selling one or all of the horses. Hind sight is 20-20. Traverse was ridiculously expensive, and the money went way too fast. The horse show was lovely (& good to me, particularly in terms of bills), but I was not in a mental state to make high powered connections and to push horses I had bred & loved and was emotionally clinging too. I was grief stricken by the experience I had in Viroqua. I knew George was at the root of it, and while I felt safe at this venue where they knew my enemy as well (unlike so many in Vernon County) I did not trust the situation. I found the friendships that were unintimidating and easy to trust (because there was no George connection) and moved forward based on that inspiration.
23. September 28, 23 - the horses & I move north of harbor springs, mi
24. December 11, 23 - the horses & I move to an Airbnb in Cynthiana, KY
Winter was coming to a place I did not want to and could not be with four horses, so I did what I had to do to finagle leaving, and headed to Lexington. I visit a friend who I had met at a horse show and ask for a job. He had the right facility in the right location and it seemed like a good fit (& of course as always I'm operating on inspiration). It turns out, as I learned months later, this friend was a long time protégé of George's. So … so much for being insulated by a venue that understands what I'm up against, or not being threatening. And guess what happens next.
25. While at this Airbnb after the job hunt, I'm drugged, again, for the 2nd time
26. December 22, 23 - I'm arrested from this Airbnb & put in jail
This was another Vernon County small town type situation. George must have been thrilled that I was writing all this crazy religious stuff onlinebecause it was tripping everyone out. I don't know the details of what happened…the cops and the Airbnb were bribed, they were freaked out by my state, or whatever. But one minute they were asking me to take my animals and leave now (and this was a Friday night, right after the owners agreed i had until Monday to leave) and the next minute after I complained a bit that it was dark and the owners had given me until Monday, I was arrested.
In Cynthiana, I was questioned by a group of officers in a dark empty police station in a manner I had never witnessed (who kept referring back to Wisconsin) and then harshly driven through some back roads being physically thrown around in the back of a car (convinced this strange non uniformed man was going to put a bullet in my head and throw me in a ditch somewhere).
I was then thrown into the nastiest jail and cell I've ever imagined, cared for in the most despicable manner I've ever seen, and spent Christmas there. My dog was put in some animal control situation where he was clearly beaten, because he shook for two weeks after he was returned, and my horses were left in stalls with their turnout boots still on for 6 days. So that was a fun experience for all of us.
27. December 28, 23 - I'm released from this jail & go straight to my friends farm a few miles away
He is kind enough to take me in, and things are going ok. It seems there is potential for this to work out. Until many weeks later when he tells me he has a relationship with George. Which sends chills up my spine and makes me want to run away. Which in hindsight I should have done. But it's a really nice place, he can be a really good guy, and there is so much potential. And I am comfortable. I'd say we were getting a little too comfortable & happy, because guess what happened next?
28. Around February 20, 24 I'm drugged again, for the third time, and evicted from this farm, again (I take only one horse, luna)
This is another really hard situation to explain and understand. And I have tried, believe me. Because it led to what feels like the set up and theft of my life's work, four rare and valuable horses. It's part of the reason I just haven't wanted to tell this story. And while the reality of what happened with my direct family and Vernon County is obvious to me by now, this situation remains unclear.
The facts of the events are I was drugged and hallucinating and scared. For days. My friend had a partner and investor who was not so sympathetic to the situation, in my opinion. Her dog bit me while I was trying to get to my dog, I held her dog (who I had cared for alone repeatedly by the way) down by the neck until it yipped, and she freaked out and evicted me as a result. After close to two months there working full time I was removed at night, with three huge cops breathing down my neck and giving 30 unfriendly minutes to pack all of my belongings and five horses in my four horse trailer alone, with no resources, and while on George's drugs. And my friend appeared to be able to do nothing about it.
So I took the one horse I was inspired to take (Luna) and left the others behind, because I did not know where I was going or how I was going to get there. I was hallucinating … I should not have been legally driving a truck and trailer and horse anywhere. I had no choice… so I hoped to figure something out and come get the rest of my animals as soon as possible.
But hey, here's a big surprise, when you are in a state like this you do not know what you are doing. You need help. You need kindness, understanding and compassion. But it freaks people out … and they just want you gone. And when it's been happening repeatedly many assume the problem is with you. And when you've been repeatedly attacked and traumatized … part of the problem on some level is definitely now with you. And that is the exact idea, right George?
So, I don't know who knew what, and I don't know who got paid what. I still to this day do not know where my horses are, though I know they ended up with the Kentucky hunter jumper association. For a period of a couple of weeks where I was mostly locked up & homeless, I was being charged $50 a day and had an opportunity to get them back. Supposedly.
I also know I was set up. To be homeless, to be broke, and to lose the only real assets I had (two rare valuable stallions, two mares & a gelding. Beautifully bred and developed … proof of who i am as a horseman). By George, and everyone willing to take his bribes and help him.
I also know I should be dead. Repeatedly, after what I went through. There is not one single solitary doubt in my mind that was the desired end result. And not just by George … but by people close to me who had gone so dark and compromised themselves so thoroughly regarding this situation, that it was easier for them if I just disappeared.
I think if my friend had been willing to 100% do George's bidding (which it seems almost everyone close to him does) I'd be dead and gone. And I'm not. So, while I definitely seek justice, which is the truth exposed and my horses returned and financial remuneration for damages done and pain endured, I realize the situation is complicated. Men like George hide behind pawns … layers and layers deep. The victims aren't just those under his attack, but at times they are those he persuades to do his bidding. Not always …but the choice between a threat to your well being (or those you care about) or taking an illegal bribe (or a well hidden seemingly legal one) would not be such an easy choice for any of us to make. It's complicated. If you're seeking this situation out in the hopes of pleasing George by harming me, you in my mind are as bad as George. If I happen to land on your doorstep and you do the best you can to manage the situation, then you may very well now be a victim of this darkness as much as I am. Only God really knows. For now.
So I get it. At the same time … only the truth sets us free. All of us … from the darkness within and without. So whether you are the source of the poison or (like me) you've been poisoned…one way or another to be free of the toxicity of the entire situation we have to try to get to the bottom of it. No matter how complex and headache inducing. The truth needs to be sought and found. Which is why I'm writing this. These words are not fun to type and relive. They are not making me feel good because I hate delving into this level of darkness. There is plenty of good in the world to distract yourself with and focus on. But I know I have to do this. And I can feel the air around me lifting and clearing. Exposing the darkness is painful … but cleansing. If you keep it hidden, it keeps its hold over you.
29. February 20- 26th, 2024 - I'm arrested in a suburb between Louisville & Lexington while walking my dog
They put me in a hospital for a night, & then a psych ward outside of Louisville for about a week
30. February 26th, 24 - I'm let out of the psych ward
I don't know where to go. I have no money & no vehicle & I can't seem to get anyone to help me. I'm disoriented and still reeling from and feeling and under the influence of the clear effect of the drugs. I end up wandering around in the Louisville Airport for 3-5 days. I write a bad check. I'm arrested again.
I was in this airport hiding from bad guys. I was scared, and every time I was alone on the streets I felt certain it was just a matter of time before some rando paid off by George took me out. So a public place with lots of people felt like the safest bet. But I had no money and I was hungry, and wanted to get out of that airport and to get my horses back. I was hallucinating that God was trying to save me through the pope and the catholic church (a ridiculous thought obviously). But like right now, i was writing everything down on my phone, and always all that easily publicly dispersed information was being reviewed.
And by some miracle (more like a set up) some person left their checkbook (& who even uses or even carries one in an airport any more?) in the bathroom i had been frequenting for days with initials JC on them. In my halogenogenic state I thought it was from God, and wrote and phone deposited a couple of large checks that never cleared. And by some further miracle the local airport security almost immediately discovered it and arrested me again. They cited me, removed me from the airport, and dropped me off at a homeless shelter in Louisville.
This case stuck, and I wasn't able to beat it. I had a good public defender and what appeared to be a fair judge. And i had a DA who wouldnt even consider dismissing the case. I went through all the details of what I had been through, but the court wouldn't even on record hear the fact that I had just been locked up in a psych ward (undiagnosed with some strange behavior, feeling unsafe within that ward, and released to the streets after a week). I tried to describe the whistle blowing and organized crime and drugging to my attorney, but it was never heard on record by the judge.
I wanted the case dismissed, as I felt was the only fair result (because typical to today's corruption and form, the victim was being set up and made to be a criminal, by the real criminals). But by the end it was going to require many trips back to Kentucky from Florida, and opened the possibility for more time locked up if the jury went against me. A likely result if none of the real truth was going to be allowed to be shared with the court. I remembered what was once a good attorney friend telling me ‘Amy, even a jury can be bought,’ and thought the likelihood of this fight going my way as things stood was negligible. It was clear in the land of billionaire horsemen, George still had plenty of friends and was at work in that courtroom.
So I took the diversion plea (which allowed me to travel to wherever I wanted), leaves me charged but unconvicted, and removes the charge from my record after three years. More of the land of the just and the free proving to be a total farce. Justice in our country is for those who can afford to buy it. Every day that people like George and those willing to behave similarly are allowed to be free and rewarded for their corrupt, offensive to God behavior, while those that stand up to them are punished, our system is further weakened and poisoned by the dark.
31. Week of March 4, 24 - I end up in a homeless shelter in Louisville
32. March 12, 24 - I talk a friend into enough $ to get one horse back, my dog back, and my truck & horse trailer out of impound
33. March 15-April 4, 24 - outside of Louisville, i find an inexpensive barn for my horse, we (me & my dog) stay in my truck, I find two jobs, I make a friend and stay with him, I finally find a place to live, I settle on just the one full time job that is a fit; and i finally have the time & calm to evaluate & process & grieve through what has happened to me.
34. September 2024 - I take Luna to Split Rock Horse Show
So I don't know what got into my head regarding this horse show. I'm a professional horseman, trying to heal and understand and learn from what happened to me. I'm hurt and I want justice; but I still love the sport I've dedicated my entire life to. I love the horses it's supposed to serve (especially the great ones). And while anytime on a horse's back is time well spent; there is just something about show jumping at the highest level. It is a pursuit of excellence and enlightenment the likes of which I have not experienced in any other realm, and it is a sport that deserves to be honored. Supporting those honestly pursuing it in whatever manner I can participate in, honors it. Knowingly allowing bad guys who have succumbed to the opposite of everything it is supposed to stand for to control and manipulate it from the shadows, does not honor it. So I was drawn back. Knowing my appearance would definitely get the sports attention, and would probably piss off George and crew.
But I only lived a just shy of two hours away. My 15 year old x broodmare was dead green and I was doing as normal a blue collar job as possible. How much of a threat could I possibly still be? Apparently enough. Because this horse show was a weird combination of an unpleasant disaster and at the same time a feeling of distant welcome from the sport and riders and horseman I had known on some level for decades. The plan was to just trailer in for two or three days one week, jump around a few small courses for Luna's first horse show ever, and go home. My truck, which had been running perfectly for years, broke down the minute I got through the gates of the horse park. A coincidence? … I don't think so. And I did not have the resources to deal with a disaster.
So I was stranded, and was forced to stay for over two weeks. It was both fun and horrifying. I was being harassed by local security. I went through all of the safesport training, only to have the end proof disappear off of the website, multiple times to the point of being so frustrated that I said forget it. And USEF and split rocks owner haven't been nearly as understanding as the Chicago, Minnesota and Iowa horse shows.
So while the show management and secretaries were very understanding and sympathetic, the shot callers have not been. The bottom line is as I discovered the very hard way, the land of billionaire horsemen at the end of the day, take care of and honor their fellow billionaires first. For a while USEF convinced me otherwise … now I realize it's a far more complicated situation. It's like I've said before …I have to fight a hidden war to go to a horse show. Because if I go to enough of them, even with one 16 year old green mare, it's going to be hard for even George and all his competitive well funded arrogant friends to keep me blackballed from the sport.
35. February 2025 - Luna & i relocate to Ocala
And here we are …
Ocala is amazing. I love the weather, I love the land, and I love the hopes and dreams I see for my sport being invested in in every possible manner. I feel happy and thankful to have found a facility that is supportive, regardless of some of the less than honorable intentions I feel professionally swirling around me on behalf of George.
George has been physically present in this town, and I feel the power and influence of that reality all around me. Most people in the know do not want to touch this fight … and in that way he has won. This reality of me and what I represent and the truth I can prove with my one remaining horse is becoming very real. And it is very threatening to those who have sided with him in this. And unfortunately it appears there are still a great many of those people around.
Which is in part I'm sure why I feel inspired to write this. Like I've said before, it needs to be more than just me and some of my sufficiently and understandably stressed supporters taking on this fight, if the good guys are going to win. I don't want to get my hands dirty, at the end of the day translates to 'you go hang out in the ditch and take on the enemy fighting for truth and justice and freedom.' We are just going to hang back on safe ground and enjoy the benefits (& avoid the punishment) of that fight. And, well if you get killed, thank God we didn't soldier up and fight that battle and join you.
Wars are not won by lone soldiers folks. And these days the war that no one sees and honors on any level is just as important as any other. Because some day, if things don't change, all of you may find your lives mysteriously drugged and hacked and robbed … no support or justice or freedom anywhere to be found from our government so many have died to protect the ideals of. Ideals without action … are nothing more than pretty,feel good lies.
You could be roofied and raped and robbed and left for dead … and find that there is not a good Samaritan anywhere to be found. Because in our current world the Georges are working to manifest … good guys are not honored … they are quietly punished. Over and over. And many of you just stood back, and knowingly watched, and let it happen. For whatever reason. You found some way to justify that behavior.
That type of in action is not going to long term work out for any of us. It's not even short term working out … and all you have to do is take a hard look around to see it. We come up together, or we go down together. And all I can say is when it happens, whatever happens, if you are aware and did not do your part to make things right, do not say you were not warned. Because you officially have been.
Long avoided, but necessary, mission accomplished. Now it's time to enjoy some Florida November warmth … and the beauty of farms and horses and show jumping. Which after the path I've been on … is a clear win!:)
June of 2025 new Blog ...
The Weird Energy Stuff, WES -101(and how it applies to Performance Horses via Equestrian Show Jumping) ...
on Ace Blog Mobil
I’ve always tried to live my life by the belief and precept ‘the truth will set you free.’ In the Book of Revelations The Bible indicates the truth as a ‘sword coming out of the mouth,’ and it is an apt description. Nothing is more transformative, and nothing is more threatening to those who have wrongly obtained dominance, and who seek to maintain status quo. For those who have used, abused & manipulated for societal power, the truth is the ultimate dismantling of a house of cards on the brink of crumbling. But for those seeking true soul power, the energetic essence of that which we are, the only thing you take with you when you leave this life, the power of knowledge is the only one worth pursuing.
It's seems odd that something so obviously important as the truth is so easily twisted & manipulated to the benefit of its adversaries … those that feed off of and live by the lie. The lie that they are good, when they have simply collected money & status, often by treading on others. They seek to legitimize their bad behavior by turning those who are good and do freely give, somehow into the bad guys.
It's a tangled web we've woven in this day & age. Between the internet and television (or the melding of both, our cell phones carried constantly by most) and the generally accepted modern method of manipulating and contorting experiences and events and people so that one can always win and dominate (regardless of whether they actually should be in charge); it often seems impossible to get to the bottom of things.
While honor and integrity and justice and greatness are all nice words; in a society that regularly allows the punishment of the good guy because no one wants to stand up to the bad guy who seems to hold all the cards; those words rarely put into practice end up simply contributing further to the illusion of a society supposedly based on the truth. When in reality, deceit and darkness reign, practically unchallenged.
Fortunately, life always gives us the opportunity to seek & find. If we search adamantly, we will find the truth in the physical world. It's there … in nature … in science & technology … & often in the purity of simple sport. If pushed to the very limit while seeking top performance … we will have to discover the truth … to continue to evolve upward & to maintain that true competitive edge in the arena we have chosen.
Equestrian show jumping is definitely one such sport. Professional horseman have spent lifetimes and decades finding the truths that work in developing top show jumpers. When you are dealing with a large animal pushed to the absolute physical, emotional and mental limit at the highest level … things fall apart quickly when the foundation isn’t solid. And as I’ve discovered convincingly, not just physically solid, but energetically solid.
Energetic Evolution
Each time humanity has discovered how to harness and use energy … we’ve been catapulted forward. At some point early man learned how to initiate and contain fire, and our world transformed. Now we had light, we had warmth, we had the ability to cleanse the physical, and to transform its shape while barely lifting a finger. We had a form of energy that could work for us. The same happened with the discovery of electricity, the discovery of splitting the atom, the combustible engine, the computer, and on and on. Each time we raise our level of awareness by discovering and understanding of a new form of energy, each time we learn how to use it, our world changes on some level for the better.
Why? Because it is energy we are meant to come to understand and learn to use, not each other. In the quest to ‘know thyself,’ understanding what the ‘sparkly fairy dust’ that we are each made up of actually IS, is one of the last real frontiers … on this planet anyway. Mechanically, and as it turns out, biologically, we can either grow the energy (the light, the truth, the clarity, the true power) or we can weaken and eventually end it (by growing and being overtaken by the dark, the lie, the confusion, that which smothers and kills).
It’s a scientific fact that the physical body (whether human or animal) is nothing more than energetic movement and electrical impulses. Neurons in our brain fire creating lines of communication that our body reads and responds to. Our entire neurological system is nothing more than an electrical current. Each atom in physical existence contains electrons (little bundles of energy) … spinning around a nucleus. Energy … being carried and moved. Every chemical reaction (whether inside of the body or outside of it) exchanges and releases energy. When the energy fully leaves the body (i.e. the toaster is no longer plugged in), we are officially dead. We are scientifically surrounded by proof of the simple fact that we are energetic beings; first and foremost. Because as soon as that energy is gone … the we that we have been is ultimately no more (that we can see at least).
In the movie ‘what the bleep do we know anyway’ … they describe and prove in a laboratory the simple fact that electrons behave differently depending on who is observing them. In other words, our focus alters the energy around us. When you roll something like say a balloon on a carpet … it picks up electrons from the carpet. The balloon is then electrically charged, proven by the fact that it will stick to anything positively charged. This is called static electricity. Demonstrating not only can we move energy with our energetic focus, but that we can collect energy with physical movement (which is ultimately, focusing energy with your physical brain to move your physical body).
Proof of the Energy of Living Things Beyond the Physical Body
Now what I’m going to say is hard to prove. It is knowledge that is understood and used (by shamans, mystics, new age healers, and I would argue even the highly evolved religious or spiritual), and has been carried forward for generations in various communities. But I think most would agree the undeniable scientific proof of it has not quite been reached and accepted.
However, I believe upper level horsemanship in the form of show jumping, because of this specific information I’ve put out there in various ways; with the help of high level trainers-riders and savvy course designers; is currently helping to prove these concepts in horse show land. And its undeniable proof … the jumps stay up and the horses can maintain stamina and perform well longer … in a very obvious and noticeable manner. To be perfectly honest, I’m personally not aware of another avenue by which ‘anyone’ with the slightest knowledge of horsemanship can’t quickly see (if they know what they are looking for) the results.
How it Works-
Using the horses energy to enhance the performance of show jumping horses
Horses and humans not only carry energy within their body, but they are also carried by energy in the form of a ball. You could call this your soul or your aura or your energetic body. Whatever you want to call it ... we feel and move through the unseen energetic world around us in the form of a lightbulb attached to the ground, as much as a physical body moving across it. What we do with this ball … how we handle it …. very simply ultimately determines the amount of energy we possess that is capable of supporting and doing physical work.
This very simple ‘lightbulb’ explanation could be complicated by a myriad of considerations. The most important being the fact that what we think and how we feel does affect our energy. Our focus and our beliefs literally uplift us … or drain us. However, for the sake of the hypothesis I am putting forward right now (a show jumper’s performance can be improved by using their lightbulb to collect energy) we are going to keep things as simple as possible. In other words, if you do this physically to affect the energy positively (in other words, grow and harness the energy rather than depleting it) the horse will perform better.
What is it you need to do?
1. Keep the energy flowing in a direction and manner that is helpful.
2. Keep the energy contained.
3. Keep the ball shape basically round, in spite of moving it in a manner that creates more athletic ability in the horse's physical body, depending on what it is you are trying to accomplish.
How most of us have been trained to ride a big course of jumps (and what until very recently most were doing)
For the sake of clarity, and because it would take a large book to really go into detail regarding these concepts I am putting forward (and I’m trying to keep this blog relatively short), I’m going to focus on upper level show jumping. Most of us have been taught or found ourselves in the habit of riding big courses (say 1.30m and higher) very evenly. Unless it’s the jump off; and we are specifically looking for extreme speed, the standard rule has been be ‘even Steven’ in stride and pace, as much as humanly possible, and you are more likely to leave the rails up (or so we thought). Stay quiet and rhythmic, do as little to upset the apple cart as you can, and hopefully by keeping the balance even and the horse undistracted the rails will stay up and you will get that ever illusive clean round.
However, as it turns out … the biological ball moving evenly across the ground depletes energy. Well … that makes sense. Physical work does tend to deplete energy … what’s new? The harder you work, the more tired you get. The harder the physical effort, the harder it is on your body. Especially long term. What if I told you the right kind of physical work actually enhances energy? And I’m not talking about working out so that over time you get fitter and stronger. I’m talking about a physical exertion that causes you to walk away with more energy. Anyone that exercises has had this experience. I was low on energy (feeling like a balloon that had lost too much air) … I worked out … and now while my body may be a little tired I actually have more energy than when I started. I FEEL better.
CRADILO
Cradilo was my first experience with this phenomenon in show jumping. If you are on this website you most likely know the story. If not go to writings, Cradilo’s story, and you can find it. The bottom line is the horse was, as certified by my veterinarian who came to know him well, severely disabled in his ability to breath.
During a botched tie back surgery of the throat, his phalanx were cut out (rather than tied back), and everything he ate came flowing back out of his nostrils, usually as green goo. When a top past Olympian tried to push him past the condition shortly after the surgery … he went into pneumonia and this horseman was worried the horse might not survive it. Fast forward to a few years later when he was ‘given’ to me for breeding (to avoid being legally caught in a bad divorce). At first, trotting him from the back in a circle for more the 5 minutes resulted in a spasm of coughing spells. Fast forward to a year later, and he was to EVERYONE’S SHOCK, negotiating 1.50m Grand Prixs with one rail. And we stayed at that level, consistent and often competitive (in spite of our dual rookie status) for 5 years. It was a full-blown miracle … a reality that should have been completely impossible.
Looking back on it now, I realize there were multiple factors that set us up for this highly unusual situation. Cradilo was physically incredible, just a jumping machine, and he was simply a great horse. He wanted the world to know him, and he wanted to prove himself. And after years of struggling to climb up through the sport I loved, I wanted the same thing. I saw incredible heart in that stallion, and I loved him for it. He was a four-legged soul mate … and it felt like together anything was possible. And I had the time and the focus on a remote farm in Wisconsin, to try to give him all the support and love and attention he needed to become what we both needed.
As it turns out, there was much more than the above happening. Amazingly, Cradilo actually went the best when we were jumping a course of fences. On the flat he would cough. As his fitness improved over the months and years, and as we came to know and trust each other more the coughing grew less, but as a general rule of thumb warming up or just flatting was always going to involve some uncomfortable coughing. However the minute the jumping started, especially when he was focused on a full course, the coughing almost always stopped. He would usually sputter a little at the end of the course, removing whatever goo had collected in his throat, but throughout the entire course (and after the first year of competitions they were often 1.30m and higher) he rarely had any breathing issue.
It was crazy … it made absolutely no physical or even common sense. Grand Prix horses are extremely rare. While at the up to 1.30m and below level there seem to be more horses for sale than anyone would ever have the time to evaluate; as soon as you hit that 1.50m to 1.60m range, horseman are scouring the planet and writing gigantic checks to find these illusive athletes. Why would a disabled 1500# 17.1 hand teenage Irish Draught stallion with a condition that caused one of his owners to tell me when I first got him ‘you can try competing him, but it’s not going to work;’ end up being a fantastic Grand Prix horse? When I acquired him, he had never seen a USEF rated hunter jumper show, and yet he ended up being perfect for a thirty seven year old professional who had been trying to find a horse to give her that experience for almost two decades.
The bigger the jumps get, the more technical the course, the sounder the horse needs to be, in body and mind. Period. End of story. What was happening here? I chalked it up to ‘I don’t care, this is awesome, thank you god and we’ll take it,’ and made as much of the experience as I possibly could. I loved the stallion, I had a group of thoroughbred mares that didn’t quite have the power for the open jumpers, but they had everything else, and with my father and the farm behind me I went to work. Proving Cradilo and I and the business on the whole; as an enterprise worth being taken seriously and worth regarding with respect. And together we did it. I proved that the stallion was the real deal on multiple levels, with him directly in the competition ring, and with his offspring. Unfortunately, as it turns out, we were more of a threat than I ever imagined to the elite, politically and financially controlling the sport. But that’s a story (in its fullness) for another time. For now, I’m focusing on discovering and teaching the truths that enhance and uplift, not the darkness that scatters and destroys.
At any rate, I honestly at that point didn’t know what was going on. All I knew is it was working. I finally had a horse the likes of which I had always dreamed of, and doors were opening. I was getting the miles I had always hoped for, and I was learning, from and among the best. Knowing what I now know, I get it. It was the energy work we were doing. Cradilo’s energy was growing, and it was uplifting and healing his body. The jumping in particular, the movement of his energetic ball required to do it, was causing his energetic body to collect energy. And that collection of energy allowed him to do things (long term, repeatedly) that should have been physically impossible. Somehow some part of me inherently knew how to manipulate that energy, AND we were discovering and learning as we went along.
And that learning has continued. Teaching and coaching and influencing at the highest level. Guess how some of my favorite adversaries feel about that ongoing development? I’m pretty sure most of you know. Like I began in this blog … nothing is more threatening to the powers that be than the truth. But one of the problems with laying a whistle blowing truth teller as low as I’ve been laid, with attacks coming from every direction (personal, financial, professional), is when that person has nothing or very little left to lose, they are even more likely to seek, find and expose the truth. Because that’s all they have left. But as each and every one of our stories end, guess what?; that’s all any of us have left. We will all face it. The reality of what we are, and the reality of what we have become. When the inevitable happens and everything physical falls away.
Rolling the Ball
So, the mystery that began with Cradilo … the pieces of that puzzle that never quite fit … are finally coming together and beginning to make sense. Like a balloon, as horse’s ball can be rolled to collect energy. Or, you can put even pressure on that balloon, that slowly squeezes the energy and life out of it.
Obviously, when jumping a high course, if you are long term successful (and more importantly your horses are long term maintained at that level) you know how to help the horse to jump. You understand that a balanced, rhythmic even ride tends to keep the horse relaxed and allows the distances to come up easily and the jumps to be negotiated out of stride. Hopefully you also know that you can make the jumps easier for the horse (ie bring out their scope) if you use the laws of physics to your benefit. In other words, think of the horse as a spring at the base of the jump, and collect and lighten the front of that spring just prior to take off. Hopefully, you also know that supporting and seeking a round frame brings out lightness and athletic ability in the horse, the same way hollow stiffens the horse and makes them heavier.
What you may not know, but I promise you quite a few top riders have already discovered, is if you are advanced enough (and have all of the above well in order) you can enhance your ride even more dramatically, by treating the horse as an energetic ball. A ball that you sink into with your energy when you ride, and that flows energy like a current, with your correct focus and management.
As it turns out, while static is very good way to learn, it’s not so good for bringing out top performance. There is nothing more difficult for the body than holding the same position. Try holding a squatted position, as opposed to moving through that same position. You’ll find that holding it is much more difficult. Why? Because we are energetic beings that survive by FLOWING energy. We are a series of electric currents being partially held or contained in the shape of a ball. To put it simply … we flow energy from our energetic source above (God or spirit or the universe or whatever you want to call it) and we collect energy from the earth below. Shaman types have been calling this the green energy of earth and the white light of source (or God or Christ) for at least 100 years. Food from the earth is energetic food, as well as physical food. And the light, the sunshine, the source from above, is more than just Vitamin D. This energy fills and uplifts our balloon.
So, the question is, how do you do the three things above I mentioned when riding a horse to enhance their performance? Well first you learn to feel and manipulate them physically, and then you start thinking about and feeling them energetically. When a horse is connected, from the back to the front, from the leg through the seat to the hand, you can feel the flow. It’s soft, it’s round, its light, it’s potentially powerful and it gives you great control over the horse’s body. It’s as if they are allowing you to energetically hold their frame. When a horse is disconnected (or the current is broken), they hollow. They are often hard to control and manage, physically and energetically; they feel heavy, they feel stiff, and as the jumps get bigger their performance lessons.
This connected ride good horseman are seeking, is actually being aware of and helping to flow a current that exists naturally across the horse’s top line. This current follows the round line of their bulb, coming up from the ground over the tail, across the topline, through the head, and back down to the ground in a circular counter-clockwise fashion (looking at the horse from the center of an arena going left). When you lengthen the horse and stretch it’s topline, you stretch the balloon and dissipate the energy slightly, rolling the energy forward. When you collect the horse, you push the ball together, and like a spring gaining kinetic energy, you increase the energy. If during collection you still keep the ball round so that the flow continues, you take some of that energy flowing forward, and reverse its flow backwards clockwise (again, looking at the horse from the center of an arena, going left). Now part of the current is coming up over the horse’s head first, then back across the topline, down the hind end and tail, into the ground.
If you can roll the horse’s energic ball forward and backwards, shifting the shape of the ball and the flow of energy while it is performing, you scoop up and collect green energy from the earth. This increased energy translates to horse that performs longer and better; and to one that potentially walks away from hard work outs and competition the way Cradilo often miraculously did … healthier.
If you watch the FEI Grand Prixs, you’ll notice there are some riders who have traditionally always been very still and even, changing their ride. On the back side of the fence or around the corners they are rolling the horse forward, softening and lightening the ride and actually lengthening the horse’s body and putting them slightly on the forehand, and at the jump they are connected and deep, rolling the horse back at the base of the fence.
You will also notice many of the course designers are making the tests longer. Those that are rolling their horses (a more dynamic ride, applying these principles) back and forth have plenty of horse for the first course and the jump off. Those that are sticking with the traditional more static even ride are running out of horse, by the end of the round. I’ve even seen multiple nice horses literally not making it around the jump off (because they are running out of energy). For me (and those who are on to this) the results are obvious. The horses are making things plain for us … this is real and IT WORKS.
There’s more obviously. This a very layered and deep onion we are venturing in to. But the above explanation is frankly more than I was planning on giving here. Like I said … this is Energy for Performance Horses – 101. If you are looking for more detailed information … you know where to find me:).
Where this could potentially take us
Here’s what is really exciting about this stuff for me though. It has the potential to help any performance horse …. obviously … I don’t care what style you are riding. And there are more than a few not necessarily horseman that are already aware of its application. It is used in alternative medicine, yoga, tai chi; and for most folks participating in those endeavors, the proof is in the pudding. But humans unfortunately almost always carry with them an agenda. A horse however, is the perfect laboratory for these types of tests, because they have no agenda. They either feel better and perform appropriately, or they don’t. So for once and for all, the question of is this stuff real when it comes to biological life, can be answered. Humanity … elevated. Once again … by the horse (and those that truly love and support them).
And then perhaps we can find some solutions to even bigger questions. Such as what is happening to the energy of our world? What is the balance between the light, the truth, the clarity, the love; and the dark, the lie, the illusion, the hate? And what does that mean for us, within and without?
Is it possible that we are being energetically depleted by the lack of truth that could physically strangle life right out of existence? What happens if we don’t make that next leap of awareness … that clarifies the reason so many feel as if we are at times spiraling into darkness? Maybe we don’t have an epidemic of depression … or addiction … or poverty … or obesity … or even war. Maybe we have an epidemic of energetic confusion.
Maybe the essence of what we are is being smothered out of existence by the static; by the lie that what we are doing is working. And the accepted concept that as long as you have the means, twisting the truth into whatever you want to make it out to be is OK. That somehow the inherent energetic darkness of so many small evils will never catch up with us. Because we’ve got it all figured out.
In my opinion, we aren’t even close to unravelling the mysteries of the universe (or this planet) … not even a little bit. There is an entire level of awareness that will not only uplift and transform this world, but it will save it. And just like the book of Revelations indicates … I would bet my life (and I kind of already have) this next level and new age, if allowed, will come exactly the same way the last one did for human kind … on the back of a horse.
May 2025
Living in Ocala, Florida
(an update on recent events)
So I made it down, and even found myself eventually working in the horse industry again. While my hope for a new business that focuses on teaching and clinics doesn't seem to be in the cards for me just yet; a job doing a lot of riding (prepping 10 show jumpers) was. For a little while. The good news is I remembered I do actually know what I'm doing (from the tack), and I haven't lost a step. I had time to tune up and refocus my eye for a distance ... and revalidated for myself everything I was already 99% sure worked in training all types of jumpers.
Unfortunately, the curse of George stepped in to mess things up once again. For the first time a professional trainer-owner actually admitted to me, after being there for a few weeks, 'George has a knife in my back'. I was hoping this man was strong enough to pull it out and help me put it back in ... to George. Unfortunately, like almost everyone so far ... no such luck.
So as time went on, it went from him hiring me under 'you are now wearing the hat' (i.e. your the trainer); to 'you need to do this for me and you need to do that'; to yelling in my face daily regarding ridiculous unproven theories and details as all the horses continued to improve exponentially every time I sat on them (in spite of their feet crumbling underneath me because this man refused to touch them, trying to make some torturous point I will never understand). If there are huge cracks and chunks of hoof wall coming out, and they are taking bad steps on hard ground, your barefoot theory isn't holding up so well. Of course even barefoot requires balance and attention, and this man's theory appears to be just never touch them, and don't worry about how they look until the horse actually goes lame (and then ignore that reality too if you can).
If an owner is talking about sending you to WEC, but nervous and excited about the ribbons he's won and hopes to win again at the local schooling shows (and their is MAJOR PROBLEM, ever heard the saying 'no foot no horse?', let's more accurately change that to 'no foot, and there is no way in hell your horse is going to be a long term show jumper'); and if you have actually done the job of developing horse after horse for and riding and maintaining against every odd at the level of Grand Prix, eventually you are going to realize this situation just isn't adding up.
Throw in a hidden girlfriend on the side taking care of everything 24/7/365 (who hated you the day you showed up); and a tendency from these folks to steal working students and potential sales and commissions you bring in followed by an immediate 'the horses are going great and we've got your amateur rider and the couple of buyers you brought in, we no longer need you,' and you guys get the general picture of how this all went down.
Like I said, I spent enough time in the saddle to remember who I am and what I'm capable of. I also got to remember how easily and freely some professionals in this business will STILL take advantage of, lie, manipulate, and defame another professional who has repeatedly EARNED the right to be respected and treated with basic common courtesy (and to then encourage THEIR brought in clients and potential young up and coming professionals to behave as badly). It's not cool guys. It needs to change. Its the reason that CODE OF CONDUCT exists and continues to need to be ENFORCED.
And now I guess the word these guys are spreading is I'm an impossible to work with egomaniac, which is total B.S. Egomaniacs live in castles on hills surrounded by their peasants; they don't live where ever and do whatever less than ideal job is required for years on end to support their one remaining not stolen horse and to keep their foot in the door on the sport (despite a solid education and a proven competition record). I showed up every day, worked my tail off, and the horses were obviously improving (the jumps were getting bigger and staying up, their form was improving, and all the ponies were doing it happily). I was as completely professional and respectful as was humanly possible, as long I was treated in the same basic manner somewhat. As I am at all of my jobs (the last one I had for a year, my boss whom was very sad to see me go, because they weren't complete bullying manipulative dishonest bad guys ... doing a really good job of pretending to be something else while it suited.)
I had the experience, the proven record, the clear results, and the truth. Standing by and defending the truth, and assuming the position you were hired under (you will be in charge of the training) does not make you an egomaniac. Demanding someone submit to your authority when the expert you hired knows you are wrong and setting everyone up to fail is egomania. Aggressive dominance that makes everyone's life hell ... without a really good reason. Just because ... so you can prove to the world and yourself who you are. When you actually have the truth the proof doesn't need to be hammered down everyone's throats (burning through and turning over rider and trainer after rider and trainer; at least those you are not involved with) ... it just naturally comes with time.
So chalk it up to another fun learning experience. What did I learn? I still want to and appear to need to ride, and I still can. I have a solid system that works, and will bring the best out of any jumping horse up to the level of Grand Prix, quickly and effectively. The energy stuff also works, validated by the many FEI level Grand Prix riders using MY STUFF to their great benefit. I write it down in various supposedly hidden places; you guys find it, read it and use it (and it's painfully obvious to me:). It would be really nice if a few of you were willing to actually admit that on some level ... along with a few other minor accomplishments (I don't know; like maybe coaching an international bronze medal everyone just wants to pretend never happened.)
But God forbid we upset George. You might find yourself on a mysterious 10 day acid trip (I FINALLY figured out with some outside help was super stealth drug induced) that sets you on a path that ruins your entire life. And happens three times in less than a year ... every time you get close to becoming a threat to the man himself via your proven truth displayed publicly via horsemanship. These guys were definitely not trying to help me ... I'm pretty sure they were hoping I was going to permanently disappear. They definitely did not want me here knocking on the door of Ocala hunter jumper land. Talk about an egomaniac ... this is where you are going to live (if you get to live) ... this is who you get to be with (if you get to be with anyone) ... these are the horses you get to own (or not own); pure unadulterated evil ... disguised as a medal winning Olympic coach.
Organized crime ... one of if not THE top dog ... infiltrating the Olympic Games. Running everything from the top to bottom ... with billions of dollars backing him. When he should in actuality be in the place he put an INNOCENT VICTIM in ... psych wards and jail. Child molestation and attempted murder via drug overdose (at the very least) are felonies ... I'm pretty sure. Victims exist. The idea that they don't exist is perpetuated to justify the bad guys who repeatedly attack those victims. Innocent women are raped ... my innocent professional and personal life was raped. By a bad guy determined to be dominant whether he had the truth or not; and threatened by the women who showed up with it; and has and continues to prove herself against every odd over and over.
So, what now? I'm here ... in an industry clearly not publicly ready to accept what I have to offer and pay accordingly ... from the ground at least. So I'll do the harder work of riding myself still ... for good guys. I can develop quality open jumpers with my eyes closed ... bring them to their top potential ... and I am honest. Like every horse I've ever sold ... you will get exactly what I tell you it is. Because unlike the man I just worked for ... I'm not trying to eggshell and piece and hold them together just long enough to get a big check (and then you get to deal with the problems). They will actually be properly developed and tested and know how to go in a round shape (not hollow and inverted) ... and they will 99% most likely do exactly what I tell you they will do ... for around that length of time. Why? Because I have been doing this forever and I am proven. Who would like to infuse and support a little top horsemanship AND honesty into the sport? There's a novel idea.
We've got plenty of great farms and facilities, a couple of great horse shows and many many buyers. Lets put this together and start to reward hard work and honesty with the proven results that come. Not because you theorize and THINK you know what you are doing ... but because you actually perform and KNOW you know what you are doing.
Don't believe the unending decades old professional slander and hype guys ... don't let them reel you in like a flopping soon to be eaten fish. Upper level competitive sport is meant to demonstrate understanding and enlightenment, via sportsmanship. Not the crude dark competitive attitude of 'do under your fellow man before he has a chance to do you under.' More important than the ethical question (everyone seems happy to ignore these days) ... you could find yourself intimately tied and connected to someone who has been totally called out and exposed ... and you are now forced to keep the obvious lie and bad guy methodology going, just to survive.
You have to actually SEEK to find the truth ... and be willing to follow it where ever it takes you. If they are spoon feeding you the B.S. they are obviously wading knee deep in (by their lack of non purchased results) then with a little time it should be pretty clear what's up.
Another blog … another half a year later. Unexpected inspiration. Inspiration gets tougher to find I’ve discovered, a little more illusive, when life isn’t filling your heart everyday as you are surrounded by that which you deeply know and love or that which you deeply know and love doing.
I was forced to put Ronin, my 11 old Belgian Malinois down September 11th. A large tumor on his spleen and irreparable damage to his overnight aged body, bleeding through in eyes that said ‘I so don’t want to leave you, but this really hurts,’ left me with no viable choice. He was the last hold out in terms of a loyal friend who is by your side on call 24/7, willingly traversing through the good and the bad. Protection and love, wrapped up in for legs, an adoring gaze, and a wagging tail. Other than my one gray mare I spend a few hours a day with, I am officially a lone wolf.
As I woke up unusually early this morning to persistent crying from the crate of a 6 week old Australian Shepard puppy (Dakota) one of my roommates just acquired, I felt particularly empathetic to his situation. Everything you know, mom and sisters and brothers; that which nourished you and those you’ve grown up playing with, suddenly ripped away. Surrounded by strange sounds and unfamiliar smells … feeling understandably lost … you have every right to cry. Nothing I could do seemed to quiet him. I get it … there aren’t enough gentle pats and warm hugs on the planet to settle that nagging emptiness in your gut. Something that was there and felt oh so right for whatever reason, is gone.
A little walk through the house led him to the Christmas tree … a plethora of interesting items to chew on and tear down … that got his attention and distracted him. Thank God … I’ll put it back together later. How can something that small make that much demanding unrelenting noise? (My Uncles past words … 'yeah, you may be an ant, but you’re a loud ant,' came back to me). A short wrestling match with the tree later … and Dakota finally crashed in the corner of the closet of my room (so quietly I had another minor panic attack momentarily thinking I had lost him.) And now pre dawn I’m once again writing to the world … thanks to the needs of as cute a fur ball as I’ve ever laid eyes on, who I didn’t know existed three days prior.
These days I find myself contemplating and living the life of a spiritual hobo. Led around by the nose by something I simply can not see, but that I know exists (call it God, spirit, a ghost, an angel, whatever you like) … I simply never know what’s coming next. But I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge I feel a little like Dakota. Ripped from what’s been normal life for so long, and suddenly fully in the hands of something that’s not quite as tactically familiar, there have been days when there is very little to nothing that can settle the unease of the experience of it all.
But I notice, like a big squishy noisy toy being handed down from above, spirit goes here … have independent survival lone wolf style … chew on that for a little while. Oh, your tired from a physical night job, piles of driving, a time consuming project horse, the gym (cause if I’m gonna spend months on end not doing what I’ve trained my entire life mastering, at least I’m gonna lose a little weight while I’m not doing it) … and a little creative extra income from here and there just to try to make the whole thing kind of work; and all of the sudden I’m the puppy happily curled up in the closet … just thankful for a safe dark place to rest.
The big guy knows what he’s doing. Horse trainer or dog trainer … I’m pretty sure it really doesn’t matter. I could fill a large book if I wrote down all of the signs and guidance and straight up miracles I’ve experienced in the last year that have led me here (and given my track record, would probably be highly offensive to more disgruntled humans than I want to deal with) but suffice it to say, where there was doubt and confusion before, now there is just a simple quiet knowing. And a sort of ‘OK, OK, you’ve got the reins and the leash … I’m moving … and we are doing it 100% your way. Ronin doesn’t even get to weigh in on the matter anymore. Message received.’
I woke up yesterday to a familiar angelic voice in my ear saying ‘Wake up sleeping beauty, it’s time to go back out into the world.’ Funnily, at that particular moment I felt like sleeping beauty. My arms were crossed over my chest coffin style and I was OUT. I had just returned from a blistering paced mini trip to Florida, nine parts driving, one part vibing out Ocala and Wellington for the first time in over a decade, and I was EXHAUSTED. But, the trip had been productive. I knew what I needed to do. I was being called back into the horse industry, and now I had a good sense of how I was being led thru the somewhat daunting process of jumping back in.
I won’t lie … other than my mare, until recently I’ve been avoiding the sport I’ve spent my entire life producing horses for and acquiring quite an impressive list of professional accomplishments regarding. What felt like a cruel set up and theft-loss of what to me (and several other pros I’m quite certain) were a priceless group of horses who represented the culmination of a lifetime of focus and sacrifice, left me with more than a little bit of a sour taste in my mouth.
I’ve found a way to live with it obviously … learning the true meaning of some of those words we Christians so casually like to contemplate as we intellectualize what God has to say about ‘being in the world, but not of it.’ But, wounds take time to heal. Knives in the back from friends and family and peers are particularly time consuming. As you are trying to pull the thing out in some cases you are also trying to solve the mystery of who it is that put it in there exactly. I know the big key players … that’s obvious to anyone with half a brain that’s been paying any attention at all … but there have been some major missing pieces. And when we are talking about emotional and energetic wounds … answers are often the key to moving on. Especially when moving on means jumping right back into that deep ocean … full of dolphins and sharks … with Leviathon still possibly stalking as well, somewhere in the unknowable mystery.
But, you don’t get to play with the dolphins without risking an occasional shark. Even if you’ve just barely survived a shark attack, if you grew up on the water and you hear Poseidon’s call daily, eventually you are probably gonna want to jump back in. Besides … don’t dolphins often attack and chase sharks away?
So, this fall, I began hearing (and finding myself willing to answer the call of) horse show land … once again. Inspiration is hard thing to explain. As I’ve described it before, I’ve come to believe our souls are a sparkly fairy dust of types, contained in a sort of permeable lightbulb, that we in our ‘physicalness’ walk through the world in.
God inspired guidance is like a hand from above, made up of the same fairy dust that is us. It reaches down, infiltrates your being, and gives you a push (or a lift, or a pull, or a kick, or whatever you need.) If we are seeking and open and willing, it joins with us. It whispers in our ears, shows us images and visions, and in time confirms all of it in the physical with questions and requests answered, expectations exceeded and even at times miracles fulfilled. As you learn (or allow yourself to be trained) to be regularly led and to live this way (as opposed to a rare inspired moment or event) it all slowly begins to make sense.
This type of journey is always mysterious … a bit like driving in thick fog at night in which you are lucky if you can see a few feet ahead … but there is just enough light … and the signs always appear right in the nick of time. I’ve discovered its often when you think you can see miles ahead and know exactly where you are going that you can get into trouble, in terms of a relationship with God.
‘It’s hard to fill a cup already full.’ In other words, why do we need God, if we can provide all we need AND we know exactly where we are going and how to get there. And even better yet, if we can just put him in a box, (Sunday for an hour at church for example, GOD IS THIS, as defined by whoever is interpreting whatever, depending on the religion, that ties in neatly with that particular society and all of it’s cultural expectations for its citizens), then we’ve really got this life all figured out.
God in a box. He’s a heck of a lot less threatening there … just in case he’s not 100% happy with some of what may be happening on this world he created. I mean, as long as he’s nothing but love and sacrifice followed by instantaneous fast food style forgiveness (for our tribe at least, who cares about everyone else), it’s all good right? God’s box checked … we’ve got that one all in order. What’s next on the list? Christmas shopping … don’t even get me started on that one.
Humanities need to control … or to BELIEVE we are in control. We cling to that illusion. Without it we are a lot like an unhappy Dakota … whimpering and whining and unsettled. Society has come up with lots of chew toys … paths leading to rewarding careers and harsh punishments for those who stray. There are often unspoken rules of engagement and community politics and corporate and government bureaucracy … the world’s hidden hand stringing us along that we are often told is God inspired (after all, the words ‘In God We Trust’ are written everywhere). Modern life keeps us fully occupied with plenty to chew on, and eventually a desire for many of us to simply rest. Having come to know spirit from a different vantage though, the path less traveled, I have to wonder.
When you are truly willing to ‘lose your life to save it,’ and find yourself led around by the nose by what becomes (the more you get to know him) increasingly the unknowable; you realize how freeing it can be to just let go and roll with it. To trust that which we don’t understand. To give up control. Because we are here. And there are dolphins playing in the ocean … and palm trees blowing in the wind on sandy beaches, freely dropping coconuts to those in the right place at the right time … abundance and beauty … the hand of God … everywhere you look.
And even if you are an unhappy puppy that just lost everything you up to that point knew, eventually things will become clear. That which you came to this world to do, whether its herding sheep, or policing, or going to war saving the life of soldiers; or simply keeping a 19 year old just getting her bearing in the world regularly knowing the warmth and unconditional love of a loyal companion (and making her roommates smile at the cuteness of it all); will be made apparent.
So more and more I’m an advocate of following the inspiration, no matter how scary. Not just writing, or drawing, or creating and producing, or riding and competing. Let it lead your life. If you really want to get to know God, while stuffing him into an understandable box may be a good start, its not such a good finish (and frankly thousands of years is too long for anybody to stay in the same-ish box). Like domesticated horses and dogs, we spiritual-physical human Heinz 57 beings are meant to be led. It is the best way to create a partnership with and to get to know that which created us.
If, for example, you’d truly like to get to know the horse you bred, that which you created, you’ll stick with it and ride it for life (or for as long as life allows). Reach for the stars … there will be falls but also wonderful surprises, and the partnership will be true and based on experience … not theories and concepts.
And I believe the same is true for that which created us … he wants to get to know us … and vice versa … and he is along for the ride for every step that we want him to be. Yes, at times working through humankind and society in various ways when we need a little extra help or guidance, but not to be stuck in a box. The ride is meant to be intimate and personal … different every time … mysterious and unknowable … and fun. And every single one of us gets the option to say yes or no … free will expressed. And whats more fun and mysterious than god granted and gifted freedom … which is what inspiration is guys.
The freedom to write whatever (that doesn’t harm innocence). The freedom to be whatever (that doesn’t harm innocence). The freedom to break out of societies boxes and unspoken and unwritten rules (as long as you don’t harm innocence) and to follow paths less (or never at all) taken. God, spirit, in-spirit-ation gives us that right. The right to not be controlled by the appearance of order, which is often a heavy soul killing weight called human society … but to be led by God.
And then the words ‘In God We Trust’ will resound with a new powerful meaning … since you will HAVE to trust him. Because as you draw nearer to him, the true mystery of that which he is will make you feel like one bobbing human head on an ocean of potentially raging depth; wondering when or if you meet Leviathon are you going to be Job or King Solomon … is he going to eat you alive or give you a ride to Glory?
Human society wants to check the box that says he’s always going to give us a fun ride and turn us into King Solomon … but Job had a different experience. And Job hadn’t done anything wrong. It was just a test … God’s proof to the devil that there were still human’s that existed that put loyalty to him before the stuff. God could take all the stuff away, and Job still wouldn’t curse his name. And when Job asked why did you subject me to this?; God didn’t answer him … he simply described his creation including the Leviathon.
In other words … you do not know me … and I will answer you when and if and how I feel like it. I am not just that which you want me to be … I am also teeth and fangs and terrifying power rising out of the depths. The alpha AND the omega … not JUST the omega. He’s not just the guy we meet at the end of the line. Like all of life and energy … he’s a closed circle. He’s there at the beginning, permeating throughout, and as far as our perspective is concerned, never ending. As mysterious and influential in our lives as we chose to allow him to be. For better or for worse … til death do we part … the ultimate partner in life.
And I may be wrong Charlie Brown … but I’m pretty sure that is meant to be the true meaning of Christmas. He was here then. He’s here now. We are never alone. We are always loved, always protected, always guided, always joined. If God is with me who can be against me? What is there to be afraid of? Its the ultimate gift (no trips to the mall or maxed out credit cards required). And definitely one worth celebrating … Merry Christmas guys … :)
Summer Blog (June 2024) The Search for the 'Peace that Surpasses All Understanding' ...
(I'm trying, but this is a work in progress)
WHAT’S UP?
So, its been a while. It feels like it’s been a lifetime since I’ve reached out in any sort of public way. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to write another blog (and leaning strongly towards not). But, inspiration is a real, important and powerful thing, and has ultimately led me over the years to many unlikely and unusually great and amazing experiences, so here we go again.
This past year has been wild. There is a huge part of me which prefers to not write about it because frankly I don’t want to feel again or even acknowledged much of what has transpired. But while there are all kinds of wounds and healing (physical and emotional) at the end of the day regardless of what type of injury it is, to be truly healthy again, you have to scrub that wound clean and expose it to the light.
I’m not going into any specifics, because digging up painful experiences and blaming is not the point of this piece. The point of this piece is to move through and let go of pain; to learn from and understand the experience (perhaps explain things a little better to those who were drawn in or observing) and to come out on the other side stronger, existing more ‘in the light’ and as free as possible (of the emotions and labels and memories that keep us stuck in places we do not want to be; and keep us from being and continuing to become who we truly are).
I’m finally in the place to write this with the hope of smoothing some things out (while maintaining honesty), because I am doing OK. I’m doing the normal job, living situation, transportation, one horse owner life thing, and all is stable. And it’s going to stay that way.
But look, here is the bottom line. Because in my early twenties I came up across and locked horns with the wrong power player in the wrong sport-industry, a fairly simple horse trainer with a fairly simple love and dream came under an intense attack on various levels. One that was ongoing … a guerrilla warfare of types, for decades. Most of it hidden, thought ultimately obvious if you were in the know and paying attention (as so much of the attack we all undergo these days is), but none the less real.
Hundreds of pages of legal intelligent viable sounding slander released on the internet regarding me last year was not my imagination (or my families as they freaked out over it). The better and more known I became at the work I had chosen to devote my life to above all else; the more I kept getting up and punching back and proving myself no matter what, the worse the attack became. They said I was THIS person, and I continued to prove and state (often via this blog) that I was not. New age competition at it’s finest … I guess.
However when it really came down to it, when the attack became particularly intense on multiple levels (I suppose physically the straw that broke the camels back was from the hundreds of pages online, which I never did read, but I got the general sense from family of how bad it was and I knew exactly where and who it had come from because I have been fighting these people for so long on so many levels) it became simply impossible to continue to hold up. And I honestly don’t believe there is any human alive that would not have eventually caved in to the abuse I was long term subjected to.
A person can only take so much. As I’ve learned from various good mental health experts, our brains are basically a very complex circuit board. If you run too much stressful input and negative energy through that biological organ, it is going to overload and on some level shut down.
Couple that with a tribe, community and society that has very little tolerance for or understanding of a strong female lone publicish figure (with not a lot of liquid financial resources to back them) going through something unusual and somehow in it’s archaic view potentially threatening, and things can get unreasonably harsh fast for that individual.
What I’ve gone through this past year, the amount of unwarranted and boarder line or strait up illegal lock ups and losses I’ve been subjected to, is unjustifiable. Like I said, I’m not going to go into detail, but suffice it say blogging and posting on facebook is not illegal, no matter how weird it is. We still have freedom of religion (or belief) and freedom of speech as a basic protection of our most fundamental rights (supposedly).
Our civilian military force (ie the police) is meant to PROTECT AND SERVE, not act as a private army for the highest bidder (including political powers) locking up and evicting the innocent. If you wear that badge and you can’t tell the difference between a person looking to do harm, and an innocent harmless person looking to simply survive, then you need to find a new profession. Because now you are a thug or a puppet of a thug, with a badge. And while I realize you guys are subjected to some fairly intense and potentially dangerous stimuli on a regular basis (because on some level I wore that uniform and was one of you for three years), what I have experienced at your taxpayer citizen funded hands is still inexcusable.
You are suppose to be the good guys. Innocent until proven guilty. Even if its someone super close to the defendant doing the accusations … cause guess what guys? … even seemingly upstanding family members of society will convincingly lie to police and courts. Eviction and homesteader laws exist for a reason. So people are protected, from losing everything they have worked for and own after say a life time of sacrifice. So they are given a fair opportunity to properly care for their stuff and to survive (worse case scenario); and preferably be treated with some level of humanity and dignity.
It is not your job to decide who deserves the treatment our basic rights provide us, and who doesn’t. It is your job to be non biased. Wealth and property ownership does not dictate that one citizen is treated better and more fairly than another. I mean come on guys … this is basic 101 are we a civilized society with some sense of what is right and what is wrong or not?
Because of the brutal, crooked, borderline illegal (barely legal maybe) treatment I have been subjected to in the past year, I have had to live thru the most horrendous and humiliating of experiences and have lost a lifetime of work (4 highly bred, valuable, trained performance horses that should by all rights still be mine right now). HARD EARNED. I mean all the normal good stuff sacrificed so an average person could pursue a not so average path and sport (and above all odds repeatedly succeed in some major ways).
OK, that’s the speech and the bad news. And if I suddenly find myself arrested and locked up again doing something completely harmless like say checking in on a parent (maybe admittedly not when I was in the best mental state). But none less one who I’ve been helping to take care of for twenty plus years (and whose farm I just saved from being confiscated by a nursing home by picking my dying father up off the ground on call 24/7 for the past few years), or taking care of my horses at an Air BnB, or walking my dog in a suburb, then you all are my witnesses and have a pretty good idea as to why and where it’s coming from.
It is coming from our local civilian military (possibly backed by at times a sold out to bad guys and bought political and judicial system; that may still have some serious flaws and at times is simply just not working at all at holding up the basic rights of its people) who have forgotten the meaning of the words PROTECT AND SERVE. Unbiased. Regardless of your opinion. What does your gut tell you about the current state this person is existing in? Are they dangerous and ready to wreak havoc?, or are they innocent and abused and looking to simply survive with their life somewhat intact?
Moving on … here’s the better news. I get that there is more happening here than just meets the eye. I understand this battle I inadvertently found myself in against what ended up being some very powerful and scary bad guys came down on more than just ‘me against him and his’. A lot of people have felt the powerful and painful effect of it … on multiple levels. And it wasn’t just my mind that subdued to the pressure, doing what needed to be done to maintain and or survive.
BACK TO THE BOOKS
So now I’m going to ‘just be me’ and get a little spiritual on you. But I am going to TRY keep it very simple and biblically based. Because many of us (especially in the area I’m living in right now) are true believers. We trust this book is for the most part guidance from above. So lets actually use that guidance a little to explain the slightly mind blowing situation a normal never ever in any kind of real trouble for 53 years citizen of the USA found themselves in as of a year ago.
Ephesians 6:12
‘For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.’
2 Corinthians 10:4-9
‘The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.’
What does all of this mean? It means the attack I (and we by association) came under (and that I have been opening publicly fighting back against with words, often times with those of the bible and Jesus) is not just physical and obvious. Much of it is unseen and hidden and frankly unacknowledged by our currently highly secular society (even the religious and spiritual aspects of it).
To put it in a different (yet still biblically based) way, I have been under attack energetically (which manifested as physical). And while we are all being bombarded with a great deal of deceit because of the culture we currently reside in, there is also deeper truth being inserted and pushed around in various fashions. I happen to really like the Matrix movies, and feel there is more truth there than any of us may prefer to acknowledge. If you’ve ever watched these movies you will know what I mean when I say in the past year I have been energetically ‘swarmed by agents and bots’ … a lot. Just a tornado of energetic ickyness and intentions to do harm coming my way … by the powers and rulers of the darkness of this world.
We are ultimately beings of light (souls). The core truth of what we are is by my vision SPARKLY FAIRY DUST. When we leave this body we revert back to that state … and go reform somewhere else in a new state. (And learning with faith to lightly let that dust go, and then to search and look for and meet it in its new location and/or form, knowing and trusting you will meet it again, is one of the fundamental spiritual lessons of life.) But as I’ve said before, that sparkly fairy dust (like ALL of life) can be damaged or destroyed or transformed to something else.
Mark 8:36
‘For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?’
How do you lose your soul (especially if this light and energy as so many of us believe is eternal)? Does God lose sight of it and it can not be found? Does the devil steal the light away and drag it to hell? What’s happening here? What is this fight for the soul we’ve heard so much about?
I have come to believe the soul, like all of energy (whether it’s in the form of electric current or a bodies physical energy or the potential energy of say a battery), that sparkly fairly dust, if not well cared for, can be used up or overtaken and lost. And this is the spiritual warfare we are engaged in that the bible is speaking of.
First, we can lose our light by succumbing in our hearts and minds and eventually deeds to the darkness; by succumbing on a collective level as a community or a society. Secondly innocence, the good, can lose it’s light when it comes under attack. We have seen this over and over in the physical world as good beings have their life murdered and squashed out of existence, and I believe it can equally happen in the energetic world. But God, as in all things, has a solution for this as well.
Gods light and energy comes in many forms. One of those forms the bible speaks of is the Holy Ghost.
Every good serious true Christian (or genuine seeker of spirit) can feel when they are under attack by darkness, and every good serious true Christian (or genuine seeker of God) knows prayer and/or Jesus’ name can and does alleviate that attack. But what is happening exactly energetically when we pray and ask for God’s assistance?
I believe one of the things that happens is we are inundated with the light of the holy spirit … the light and fire of God. A lightning bolt and jolt of the sparkly fairy dust of the lead King of the Fairies himself, a God that disperses the darkness (like turning on a bright lamp in a fully dark room). And I believe that is what happened to me, multiple times this past year.
It wasn’t just really bad things happening and relentlessly coming down the pike seeking to drown me (and some of those close to me) and remove us of our stuff and possibly our life, but there was an energetic swarm of darkness. An attack by dark powers … to put it in biblical terms. And yes, in this instance I was the main focus of this attack, but it affected many of us. The physical (and what has felt to me like deeply dark and traitorous) solution for some was, to brutally toss me and mine out (or lock us up), and what they sensed (whether they knew it or not) with my removal would probably eventually go away.
I believe Gods solution for me personally was a bright dispersing spotlight of the holy ghost, that lasted as long as the energetic dark swarm (days often). If you’ve read the bible enough and you read between the lines, you get the sense a direct encounter with God (or his emissaries) manifesting here on planet earth isn’t always such a warm and fuzzy, pleasant experience for folks. God, first and foremost above all else, is raw power. In the true focused presence of such inordinate largeness, falling to your knees isn’t a choice, its a given and an absolute.
While he is good, protective, nurturing, and ultimately the embodiment of love and all of those wonderful things we believe in … compared to our small selves here in the physical … he is simply overwhelming in his complexity and mystery and might. (And you can change the word ‘he’ to ‘it’ or ‘her’ or ‘energy’ or ‘source’ or ‘the universe’ or the ‘all that is’ or whatever name you wish to use; because frankly the ‘I AM’, beyond any pronoun, is in fact the best description of something so indescribable).
If you are brave enough to seek a genuine meeting with God, and you believe you have found it, if you are not completely overtaken on some level by the intensity of that meeting, I am going to suggest you haven’t truly touched anything close to the fullness of that source.
Because some part of you WILL MELT and be transformed into something else under the heat of that true meeting. The phrase ‘touched … or touched by God,’ to explain those who seem to have lost it, exists for a reason. To be in the presence of God is to be in the presence of total love and support, but is also (typical of the paradox of most of existence) at the same time to be IN THE FIRE. In other words, Moses’ bush was burning (and not rising out of a pool of soothing baptizing water) for a reason guys …:)
WHY DO SOME HAVE TO LOSE THEIR LIVES?
In Mark 8:35, Jesus says
‘For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.’
What does this mean exactly? Jesus sacrificed … to make our lives better. True. But here, he is calling on some level for all of us to sacrifice … for all of us to follow his lead. He overcame darkness with words and deeds … and by physically overcoming death. Following his lead is to fight darkness in whatever way we can … in whatever manner we are called to. He sacrificed the physical for the spiritual … the body (that which can be eaten by moths) for the soul (that which is potentially eternal). Here he is calling for us to do the same thing … to lose the physical life to save the spiritual life.
Jesus in John 10:10 says
‘The thief (or devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy…’
and that he (the devil) ‘comes as an angel of light’ … ‘who leads the whole world astray.’
So our enemy (both physically and energetically) is not to be taken lightly. He is powerful, cunning, dangerous, and is followed by the bulk of the world. As I have experienced in the past year, there is plenty of opportunity granted to lose your physical life happening under his leadership. And I am not like Paul (and the many Saints and apostles that shaped so many of our religious orders and spiritual teachings) … I am definitely a fully franchised citizen of our current modern western society.
I have a hard time reveling in suffering and humiliation and sacrifice … I am not joyful about the experience or necessarily counting myself blessed because I’ve been wrongfully imprisoned and cast out in what I know is ultimately a fight against darkness.
However, I have very recently come to the realization that if I can trust it all happens for an important reason and it is all ultimately in Jesus and God’s hands, then there is an honor in being in the fire (Psalm 28:7, ‘the voice of the Lord flashes forth flames of fire.’) Because while God does not necessarily cause pain and hardship that is often the direct result of fighting darkness and bad guys, he obviously will most certainly allow it; for the ultimate good of the world and for his own satisfaction (to be well pleased with those who seek to serve him).
If those of us in the fire are in fact working towards and being prepared, so something amazing and miraculous can unfold, then it may be justifiable even in our small minds and lives as worth it. A preacher I like recently said the miracle zone ultimately lies on the path somewhere between what you cherish and what you fear, and if you can let go of both you can find that illusive existence of living God's full grace (without harming or leaching off of others). Well, if you’re truly open to the spiritual path at any and all costs, sometimes God will push or even force you to that in between place.
This does not make the works of principalities right or OK. I believe in seeking and finding heaven on earth … in the here and now if we can. But sometimes this means like Jesus we have to be willing to ‘lose our lives to gain them.’
Because the fruit of the tree is not stuff guys … it is deeds. The deeds that individually and collectively strengthen the sparkly fairly dust that makes us what we are (or that ultimately destroys and consumes us). Every single one of us will leave this world stripped of everything we have worked for, and physically poor. There is no elitism in death. There is only the deed and soul and who we have become that we take with us, when we each finally face our creator.
Society is horrified by suffering (weakness and humiliating experiences and loss) and exiles it. We do not care for it. Jesus talks a great deal in Matthew 25 about what you are suppose to do for those suffering, and ultimately he says ‘whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers, you did (or did not do) for me’.
Well I’m here to tell you, for a place that is supposedly so inundated with lovers of Jesus, I have recently seen (and been) a whole lot of the least of these, being completely overlooked and often treated with little more than disdain and contempt.
A few days ago I watched (as I’m living for the first time in an area with more churches than bars) car after car after car pass by a man on the side of the highway ramp with a sign saying ‘needy vet.’
And of course, my egoic societally trained mind went through all the excuses we all go through to avoid spending money on what we consider to be weak and humiliating. He should get a job (no matter what it is or how degrading it is and how miserable it makes him, even though finding decent jobs even when everything is just right in your world can be nearly impossible), he’s probably just a con spending it on drugs and alcohol and using this as a means of income, he probably deserves to be where he is, etc.
But in the end, after what I’ve been through, I decided all those thoughts were simply wrong. I could look at him and see that he was asking for help because he genuinely needed it, and it didn’t really matter why. My job is to see the spirit (or Jesus) in him and act accordingly. So I gave him $20, the most money I’ve ever given anyone on the street, and knew I had done the right thing. Not because the bible told me so, but because my own experience has taught me so.
The bible states repeatedly that in our weakness, god is strong. He makes or allows us to be weak so that we can and will turn to him, and to test the true spiritual state of others. So that when the king comes and like the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and the people (goats) say when did we see you suffering and ignore you, he will say ‘as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ Pretty churches and godly words and inspiring songs are not going to cut it guys … God hates hypocrisy. Its about the deed … the fruit of the tree … what you ‘DO…’ not what you collect.
(If this offends some, don’t get me wrong. While this area ultimately subjected me to the worse professional loss my life has ever experienced, it’s churches in many ways saved me. At the worst of times, I simply camped out next to the place of worship I found myself most drawn to, went through the open doors as often as possible, made some new friends, and drank in whatever energetic and physical support was offered and available. The belief and prayer happening in that place was impressive and potent and healing. And it made all the difference.)
However, our leader Jesus got down and dirty with the world … he was in the trenches. The folks he was hanging out with were not necessarily members of his not yet formed pristinely built and cared for church. They were asking for help, and he gave it, regardless of who they were or what their situation was. He understood 1 Corinthians 12:26, ‘if one member suffers, all suffer together.’
I’d love to just breed and train and ‘push farm animals over large piles of wood’ (if we are actually competing on fair ground) and forget the rest of the world. Being immersed in that which I love (no matter how hard) makes me happy and is healing of all of the things in the world that make me sad. But God has called me temporarily at least to something else in a very powerful way. Because so many are suffering and asking for help and we are ignoring so many of the least of these (and thus Jesus himself, according to Matthew 25.)
Like I said, I seek and hope to see heaven on earth, as soon as possible, for all of us. I’m praying for justice. Hoping eventually at least some of that which was wrongfully recently stolen from me (and the slander that ultimately led to the theft regarding my career which started decades ago, not just in this past year) will be returned and all will be made right. Because there is no healing without justice, and there is no heaven on earth without individual and collective healing. To me heaven on earth is doing and being what you love, with those you love and respect.
I like seeing the world abundant and thriving, even when I am not. It is a sign of what is there and potentially possible. But when the world is greedily grabbing, and regularly working to sabotage and steal from what is good and innocent and fighting darkness; it is losing it’s soul for the sake of the physical. And that loss of the light, free, shape shifting truth of what we ultimately are is taking us down a path I can almost guarantee none of us want to be on.
You do not avoid becoming me (or anyone else who has or is suffering greatly) by ignoring me. You dig deep … you seek God … and you get to the bottom of the truth. And maybe the truth is, like me, you need a major change and a major wake up call as well. Maybe you need to follow your saviors lead and suffer and sacrifice a little … lose some of this life so you can gain your real life. Maybe that is the only true path to salvation that remains for you. I don’t know …. each individual is different and we all have that ultimate higher spiritual guidance.
What I do know after surviving an extremely powerful and difficult attack by principalities and the resultant path that experience led me down, is there is no heaven on earth as long as so many are ignoring what their own professed God has been teaching for thousands of years. And even if you can find a good life in doing that which you love surrounded by those people and that stuff which you love (or find acceptable) it will NOT SAVE YOU. You (and we as a world) are on tenuous ground, and I think many of us know that. Which is why the grabbing and greed and doing whatever it takes to fit in and be accepted by the tribe and peanut gallery has become so powerfully important (and out of control).
MORE OF WHAT I’VE LEARNED FROM ALL OF THIS
Male verses Female ...
Spiritual energy that guides and leads tends to be male (none of the spirit guides I speak directly to are female). That’s the reason for the father, the son and the holy ghost in Christianity (not the mother, the daughter and the holy ghostess). Female spiritual energy is more nurturing. It empathizes with and lovingly holds, so that it may grow. She is in the background slightly … when you are reaching for guidance and support from spirit.
That’s by my approximation the reason female ministers and preachers and spiritual teachers are more rare (and sort of un natural and almost offensive seeming to some). But in this day and age, when the male leadership in society (with it’s unbridled ambition and competitiveness) has taken us to the precipitous of a dangerously dark place, that female energy of spiritual guidance is required as well for balance in the physical (hence female ministers becoming more common and accepted in Christianity at this time).
Like all things in real life it is complicated … but it is my basic understanding that female soul is an extension of and made from male energy first (in Genesis it is described as taking a rib from Adam to make Eve). It doesn’t mean that the female is any less or second … any more than your child made from you is any less than you. Male and female, parent and child are just different … which sometimes means roles need to be reversed. You hopefully raise and take care of your child … and often as you and the child age … it grows up and takes care of you. This turning of the tables is often required for a re balancing.
At the very core of what we are, the sparkly fairy dust, there is no female or male. There is just raw soul energy and source. That’s the reason I don’t give too much thought or concern to sexual orientation or the trans movement or anything else regarding these topics (short of what the individual feels spiritually drawn to.)
But because my physical nemesis in this life is a gay white man, and I am a straight woman, there has been some false conceptions (of course perpetuated by the energy of the father of lies) about who I am and what I believe and know to be true.
Minorities can be a bad guy too … because that dark energy comes disguised as an angel of light … right? Just because there have been black war lords in Africa committing genocide doesn’t mean all black men (a minority) are bad. That one leader is not any sort of a reflection on all those belonging to that minority.
But darkness wins by dividing and conquering emotionally and intellectually first. So one of its strongest and most effective tactics is to work on our natural tribalism and desire to fit in by boxing us into different labels and categories and then pitting us against each other via competitiveness over whatever it is we think we want in this physical life.
To put it simply (regarding my direct situation and battle within my sport and industry of choice) some of my favorite people on the planet (friends and peers and musicians) have been homosexual (men and women). Specifically, the male energy of protection and leadership mixed with the female energy of sensitivity and nurturing warmth has a very particular appeal (that horses seem to appreciate as well). So to see me as an enemy that has attacked a particular minority is just wrong (and yet another lie).
However, if you happen to be a member of a minority and are using some sort of societal sympathy as a shield to be a hidden bad guy (and I discover it for a fact) and you have done major damage to my specific life, I am still going to call you out given the opportunity. Because Christians are called to follow their leader to fight darkness in all it’s forms (even losing their life to save it), in whatever form in particular that dark energy makes itself present in their life. And the first step in fighting darkness is to expose it, within and without.
Additionally, if you are using this same minority shield collectively to be on top competitively (rather than just basic good old fashioned horsemanship and sportsmanship) then I have no problem calling you out on that as well. Because our sport specifically, and the world in general, needs healing. And that will not happen if any darkness or deceit existing within our hearts and minds is allowed to persist.
I’ve been given a forum here for a reason. I have paid a heavy price to have it, I have earned it, and it is going to be a little harder to legally steal from me than valuable horses (although I’m sure eventually if we let them they will figure out a way). At the pace our society is going, it’s just a matter of time before genuine freedom of speech (and the internet that allows it to be so prevalent and easily put forward) is completely gone. Guaranteed … that is the direction we are quietly and stealth-fully headed quickly towards if things DO NOT CHANGE.
Different energetic realms ...
In the same way there are different levels of energetic and physical form there are different realms of existence that fit that form. Our sparkly fairy dust has taken form because a piece of it has willed to be something separate and individual and interesting. So while in a place of pure light we are all simply soul and source, all one and exactly the same and indistinguishable from another, that type of existence drops through multiple realms until we find ourselves here on planet earth, occupying a very vibrationally heavy and individualistic physical space.
I’m not going to even begin to try to get into all of it because in its total clarity it is simply beyond me (or any mind I believe); but I know there are places where we as soul can occupy a lighter form of sorts that is not here on earth in the physical. When we are not on this plane, our souls have lives and experiences not so different from the life we have here, where the miraculous (in terms of shape shifting into whatever we want to be and instantly creating whatever we choose to have), magic, is real. Realms where spiritual leaders like Jesus are the known and accepted rulers and leaders, and where sentient darkness can not secretly exist and have power. What some would call heaven.
And I know there is an energetic realm right here among us in the physical that fights our enemies with us on an unseen plane. We’ve all seen the paintings in the chapels … angels and demons battling it out. Waging the spiritual warfare the bible speaks of. Bad guys and darkness swarming the good guys … and Gods forces swooping in to the rescue.
Those repeated paintings over hundreds of years and multiple cultures exist for a reason. I’ve recently come to feel it is all very real and happening right under our noses (although you may not actually want to see it because it can be quite scary and unsettling and disorienting). For me now its enough simply to know there is guidance, there is a fight for our protection and survival happening that we don’t need to see, and ultimately all is well because we are in good hands.
There are also unseen energetic connections and spiritual traveling happening all the time. Every time we sleep our soul travels to a different place. High level masters are consciously and purposely leaving their bodies energetically to go to and tap into different realms. It is something that has been happening and has been documented through shamanism for thousands of years. If two people or any group of people really want to mutually connect and are sensitive, its impossible to keep them apart.
No matter what situation the darkness has manipulated to foster that end result of disconnection. Separation is evil’s power in this realm … if it can pull apart and undo our desire to love and connect than it can manipulate and control and own the entire world. But we can fight to break those bonds, energetically at first, whenever we want. And the physical will always eventually follow the energetic … it is scientific and spiritual law.
Regardless of whether normal society wants to believe and accept it or not, God’s way and the way of our culture are not the same. Often, they tend to be kind of the opposite (leading us down diverging paths), which Jesus outlined over and over. If you want the truth that will result in this worlds healing, we are probably going to have to truly open our minds a little (and put our egoic thoughts and culture and society at times aside.)
WHY I’VE BEEN GONE
So the reason I’ve practically disappeared, and its been so hard for me to want to communicate in the manner that I normally do, is simply because this past year has been personally very traumatic and painful. I have felt strong spiritual guidance to and a need to lay low to the point of almost staying hidden. I was living the concept David puts forward in Psalm 32:7 … ‘you (God) are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble.’ Even after the battle is over and you are relatively safe, emotional healing and the grieving of loss, like physical healing, takes time. And I have been understandably to any normal and decent human being, angry and sad.
In the book The Language of Emotions, by Karla McLaren, the author speaks of emotions being important teachers we need to listen to and learn from, rather than just tuck away in a societally acceptable manner. She teaches anger is useful in helping you to create needed boundaries, and sadness can motivate and help one to detach and let go when it is necessary.
In the book a Course of Miracles (which I believe is for the most part a true representation of a modern day Jesus writing) Jesus says ‘the key to happiness is forgiveness.’ He also says ‘all attack is a cry for help.’
So somehow, when you are deeply angry and sad from unfathomable repeated losses and betrayals (or people crying to you for help, depending on how you want to look at it), if you want to be happy and at peace and exist at least at times in the state of light joyful empowered free fairy dust we all at our best actually are, you have to find a way to see past the attack of the dark to understanding the light often existing just behind it. You have to find a way to see the Jesus, the least of these, in every even badly behaving person and horrifying situation.
But straight out love and forgiveness of all … from the dark powers perspective … are a weakness to be taken advantage of. It allows these dark rulers and principalities to easily herd and at will slaughter the sheep; and it can open you to be easily stolen from, to have dreams and lives killed, and to be destroyed. So there has to be a balance.
Almost every single person on the planet has light and dark within them. There is always a little piece of soul there, there is always an ego, and there is always a dark personality or entity we have created that only cares that we, its host, survive in what is often a very harsh world (but that entity is a potentially dangerous force which can easily take over and lead us down the path of destruction, of others and eventually ourselves).
It is the balance of all of these energies that matters. Which master are you ultimately serving (because as Jesus says you can only serve one) … which inner wolf are you feeding? What is the fruit of your tree? What are your deeds and what have you become as a result? NOT what have you accumulated and who agrees with you and welcomes you in. Because you will not be taking any of these folks with you when you leave this world. Each and every one of us dies alone … no matter how many surround us … leaving physical life is a one person journey.
As simple as it is, and as much as it is taught, I’ve discovered once again in an even more powerful way, LOVE IS THE KEY.
When you are so ravaged that your heart and soul and body are sore to any touch; when you have to box away and lose almost every good memory because feeling the loss of and concern for that which you love but can not touch or help is unbearable; when the only way you can justify the effort of marching on is to stay 100% in the moment and blissfully ignorant to the past or the future; when there is a dark throbbing hole in the middle of you that won’t grant you any rest and forces you to seek whatever reprieve you can find from a desert of unending harshness; only finding a way to love out from the core of who you are, regardless of what has happened, only forgiveness, eases the pain. Self love, love of others and a love of life. And what is more loving than to bless … ourselves and others? As David says in Psalm 32 … ‘blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.’
However, if you allow yourself to be under constant attack and the threat of destruction (even continuously disrespected or dishonored, which is a form of and the beginning of all attack) there will be nothing left to love others with, and there will be nothing left to create and care for a good life. So first and foremost there need to be boundaries and the ability to detach.
If you are angry for a reason use that anger to protect yourself. Focus and work to not allow yourself and yours to be raped, robbed and slaughtered, on any level. Use your words ... because ‘when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long’ (Psalm 32:3) … to ‘sing a new song’. Use your actions, and most importantly, simply decide this is not going to be. The sacrifice isn’t because suffering is OK … it is because fighting darkness (so that a good life on solid ground can exist) requires it.
If you are sad and need to detach use that sadness to detach from that which is hurting you. You can not be happy if you are emotionally or physically hooked to something that is on some level gone and destroying you. As I’ve said before, our fairy dust can ultimately not hold on to anything physical.
So while I may have temporarily or permanently lost most of my horses (though they were God’s first), I am still a top horseman. However in Psalm 32:16 David says, ‘The king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not delivered by his great strength. The war horse is a false hope for salvation, and by it’s great might it can not rescue…’ (verse 20) ‘our soul waits for the Lord, (only) he is our hope and our shield.’
So don’t misunderstand the situation. Those horses were my family and my life’s work and the loves of my life … I had sacrificed everything for decades to come to own and care for and train them. But as the attack intensified our lives were under direct threat … on multiple levels. I tried everything I emotionally and physically could to hold on to them. I slept in my truck for weeks on end rather than a hotel so that I could hold on to and care for one horse. But in the end, if we were to survive, I had to simply let go and trust God and the industry and hopefully the good guy horseman to take care of most of them. To do what was and is right.
I will also not be emotionally controlled by bad guys seeking to further torment me (arrogantly and obnoxiously parading my self developed horses around, their wrongful theft and kill, like our heads on a platter). I’ve been down that viscous evil road before, and I know better than to go there again, because it is not of god.
You know, if you are a horseman trying to do the right thing (professional or otherwise) and ultimately to help us, to help prove who we are with the right perspective and attitude given the situation (and perhaps make a fair amount of money, not a small fortune on my-our blood, sweat and tears); I may eventually come to a point of being able to face and handle the situation. Right now I am simple not there.
Competition can be healing and strengthening (as it has been the main catalyst for our world’s physical evolution), or it can be an egoic attack used to do damage. Truth, even though it’s meant to be the healing scrub that sets you free, can feel like an attack. I’ve learned when it’s not put forward gently … or in a manner than can be gradually assimilated … sometimes it does more damage than good. Lashing out can feel like an attack. But why are they lashing out? Have they been brutally raped of ‘whatever’ so badly that they are just desperate and grasping and on some level trying to survive? Why is that person acting so out of character?
In this day and age in particular, you have to dig deep to get to the bottom of what is actually happening in an individual and a situation. Nothing is black and white … its all about tone and attitude. That is where you see past the lie and supposed sophistication of hidden to ‘are they seeking to do harm or are they seeking to heal?’ That is where you discover the real fruit of the tree.
I have an ego and I have made mistakes. I even have a dark side that I let out and put front and center when it feels warranted (though I hope to maintain control of her). And there is nothing particularly pretty about her (coming from a spiritual perspective) … but she is strong and will detach and do what needs to be done so that we can stay safe and survive while we still have work to do here.
The point is, I had to and have to detach and ‘let go and let god’ … because ultimately it is all his and will be served for his good purpose (not any individuals). Because what does Psalm 33:10 say? … ‘The Lord brings the counsels of the nations to nothing; he frustrates the plans of the people.’ In other words, like the very relevant saying goes, ‘Man makes plans, and God laughs.’
And regardless of the loss and apparent disconnection, darkness can not take away the deeds that made us. What I have done and accomplished (as a horseman and a person), the experiences I’ve had and the love and connection I feel can not be stolen (no matter what) and is coming with me. It is coming with all of us … no matter where we go as long as we can hang on to and continue to be the light that we truly are.
Although at this moment in particular I am very aware of the fact that it is not easy, I believe we have to reach to love and forgive (one of the highest forms of love) and TRY to understand ‘there are more things in Heaven and Earth Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.’ Its worth the stretch … because we are worth the effort.
Because believe it or not, many of those relationships mean more to me than any single or even multiple seemingly brutal and wrong event. Those connections are worth more to me than the stuff … and all the pieces of paper claiming ownership over that which can not be owned (life, the sparkly fairy dust, and all the stuff it, with god’s help creates).
You know, like all things, the stance I have come to after all of this is complicated. If I find I’m having to put up the same boundary over and over that is repeatedly being run over and disrespected by someone I barely know (physically or spiritually), or even that I know quite well, I may (under God’s counsel) choose to put up the ultimate boundary permanently, using the very important at times to emotional survival skill of detaching (for this life anyway).
It doesn’t mean I don’t care or wish you well on your journey. It means we are finite beings and we only have so much energy. We have to pick and choose our battles … including picking and choosing the connections and people and places and work and play we are willing to fight for. And as self loving survivalists by necessity (or there is nothing left) … that is our right. But ultimately the goal is if possible to see past the wrong doings and to connect, in one form or another.
MORE ON EGO
In training performance horses, if you are starting from scratch and working with animals that have no understanding yet of what their jobs are to be, you find yourself by necessity tapping into blue ego. If you have read my blogs before you know this is what I consider to be instinctual nature based ego … that ego by which we have evolved. I consider dark or black ego to be more man created … hidden and manipulative … harder to pinpoint and understand. But nature’s blue ego is pretty simple … physical survival of the fittest.
Stallions in the wild fight to the death over mares. Dogs live in a packs and fight constantly to establish dominance and order through alpha males and females. We have all evolved in a physical world (over thousands and perhaps on some level millions of years) … and physical communication in many ways is the most clear and honest. I do not like what you are doing … how you are treating me or what you are asking of me … and I am going to communicate that to you with a hoof or a bite. Or if I am a canine you will likely be pushed down at the neck and held until you stop fighting and submit to and honor that which is stronger, and thus has the better ability to lead and ultimately keep all of you alive.
Physical sports are healing (and some practically worshiped in our culture) because there is an honesty in physical contact, even when it becomes borderline violent or damaging. Some of the strongest and most humblings lessons I’ve learned, that have skillfully crafted me into a good horseman, have been extremely physically AND emotionally painful and damaging. I’ve had a broken foot, a broken in half arm, a broken vertebrae of the neck, and multiple large scars and dents that will be with me for life.
Every good horseman and animal trainer and animal lover’s goal is to communicate without physical harshness of any sort (ie I think and feel it and we or you together do it). Every good humanitarian seeks a world of peace without war (or physical aggression of any kind.) But to try to get there before we have truly evolved and healed … to think you are going to convince a dark controlled and strongly empowered (by money or society or their clan or whatever) bad person … or even an untrained horse or dog … without any sort of physical ramifications … is simply an illusion. And it’s a dangerous one … because it gives power to a lie that adds confusion to understanding the different between right and wrong (actions) and good (or light energy) and bad (heavier dark energy).
You are not more sophisticated because you can buy a made horse (who has already been educated as to their job by someone else so you never have to get your hands dirty) or use quiet and unseen electricity (via spurs or a jumping line or whatever) or technical vet work (such as never ending temperament altering drugs that replace real training or the nerving of feet or whatever other tricks you've conjured) to gain an edge and win competitively. You are living a lie.
You are not more sophisticated because you can end the careers and futures and dreams and lives of the innocent while still appearing to be, and convincing others, you are a successful angel of light. You are not sophisticated because you have created and often puppet a society that appears to be abundant and free and happy and joyful, while injustice reigns, and suffering of what you consider to not be elite and or worthy, abounds practically completely ignored.
Dark ego is dangerous (because its greatest strategy is hidden deceit) … and the one that we have to constantly and carefully work to expose and control. Within and without. What are the lies? And what once exposed, can be over looked, forgiven, and loved past? And what has to be for now at our current level of evolution physically reprimanded and controlled and contained; safely separated from on some level until it can hopefully be trained into harmless usefulness? That is the work … the fight we are all called to if we are going to collectively save this world (with of course as always the help and guidance of it's ultimate creator).
Because what does David tell us in Psalm 30?
‘O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me. You have brought up my soul. You restored my life from the pit. For his anger is but for a moment, but his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. As for me, I said in my (spiritual) prosperity, I shall never be moved. By your favor oh Lord, you made my mountain stand strong. You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness. That my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. To you O Lord, my God, I will give thanks to forever!’ … Amen:)
New Year's Blog (February 2024) 'The Lion, the Lamb and a Horse of a Different Color'
(Lexington baby! ... though she's making me work for it) ...
on Ace Blog Mobil
We are gonna follow most of human society’s lead & do this backwards for now (for
the previous earlier Chapters, like Part I, scan below:)
**Happy Valentine's day Niall & Dad; The two men I live, breath & die for; whose presence I will never fully stop missing in this physical place. & Happy Valentines Day Momma Earth & Sun God Dad who is smiling right now, and to all your zero sister Mommas (& Fathers) walking upon you. (Niall’s mom zero btw … I hope the why of all of this is beginning to make sense & seem possibly worthwhile, because I’ve always carried your broken heart). Maybe some of these man children will start to be a little more respectful of our kind and our family now … here's to hoping. And Happy Valentines Day Children of the Earth in and fighting for the light. Your true parents love you soooooo much:)🌹💔 ***
PART 8
THE DETAILS OF THE ENERGETIC FORMS THE DARKNESS HAS TAKEN(and taken over) to silently kill us with kindness and ultimately win this fight to enslave and extinguish the light
One Clear Example in the Physical of Just How Hiddenly Bad Things REALLY ARE … the downfall of that old Uncle we all love so much that none of us really want to believe it
I've got some bad news for you guys today. (Just remember it is encased in a heart of love delivered on this day of hearts.) Your government as it stands right now is the ultimate wolf in sheep's clothing. As a matter of fact, the US government has collected so much dark power, a better analogy would be a mindless fish eating (what's one of the symbols for Jesus and Christianity?) Shark.
The reason I'm not running out to find an attorney right now (& selling everything I own to pay for it) for my upcoming court date is because whether the bulk of us know it or not, we are terrifyingly close to already living in a communist country. The justice system is in many ways a farce designed to make us all feel better. The bulk of the attorneys are bought and paid for, hired by our government to do its bidding (& almost ALL of the judges.)
These class action lawsuits giving money to soldiers for the trauma they have undergone that can never be paid for?, is agreed to & supported prior to the actual suit by the government so it APPEARS the system is a free fight for balanced justice, & actually legal.
All the free money they are supposedly throwing at us right now? (When what they are truly freely throwing your money at is the corporate advertisers). It’s the beginning of socialism … which if we are not careful will become communism disguised as democracy, which is practically dead already. And by the way … they are not giving nearly as much money away as they are advertising non stop, it is not going to be that easy, & they are going to use the carrot to torture most of us (& to flaunt their wealth); especially those who are a threat to them.
If they were doing their jobs & protecting the people from the wolves so they could make plenty of money on their own we wouldn't need government assistance. They want you dependent & sucking on that tit. They want you dis-empowered. Cause 99.99% of US politicians (& those controlling them) are ego controlled mindless sharks. They eat wolves for a snack … and they sustain on killing fish. (And btw, I’m not saying don’t take the money if you can get it. I’ve been on government assistance. If it saves you right now, that is the LEAST they owe us oppressed underdogs. I’m just saying if you can in any way possible avoid it, do it. Look up … he’ll tell you what to do.)
Uncle Sam has gone dark. & to set this family member straight again is going to take some serious unified lion style acrobatic feats of the miraculous. Cause even a pride of lions with all its cubs joining in on the fight are going to find one great white shark named JAWS to present quite a battle, when you are a land creature of the light swimming & living in its deep dark shark infested and controlled waters.
(& I know they are freaking out guys. I know Washington DC is on FIRE right now, & has been as this has been manifesting into the physical.) The ultimate in the ‘ego-angel of light-wolf’ pulling the wool over the sheep's eyes. They've known about me & George Morris & Revelations chapter 12 & the different colored horses of the Book of Revelations for years. Yep … all those prophesies fulfilled I've been talking about … my life lived and made real.
They hoped it was just a bad dream that would disappear … and have been working pretty hard at helping Satan egos mission of just making me go away (the way those in conspiracy with them did Niall). They sure as hell weren't going to tell you about me & this … & witness to it. Only true human's of God, fearless warriors, are going to stand up & do that in this day and age and time. They don't want to give that power to God. They are gods in their own right … as far as they are concerned. Dark Gods … as is any man in power not at the very least acknowledging and appreciating his true creator.
So HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? How did that warrior woman Statue of Liberty lighting the torch & calling the brave & hopeful to her shores get beaten down & turned into a lie by which to deceive the masses?
Well to begin with, the men forgot the power of Joan of Arc. (Yes France, thumbs up. As annoying as your snobby arrogance is sometimes, though I think England may have you beat on that front, this land of the freeish country would not be here without you & your age old rivalry with England inspired support.) Those ties are older & run deeper than you know.
The men forgot what true nurturing leading to self empowerment is; they forgot that they were the protectors (forcing that kind, innocent energy to become a ‘fiercer than them’ battle hardened warrior); & trampled upon & climbed over all things female.
Including the ultimate nurturer, our mother the earth. The spirit of zero female in all her natural beauty, encased in one big beautiful round blue ball floating through the heavens. The ultimate high level zero female making herself low to be tread upon by men. & you wonder why Dad likes using his rod of lightning controlling the weather to wipe them & all they care about off the planet every once in a while? His soul mate in physical form, who those in their dark power seem to enjoy tormenting on a daily basis.
That's more than a small part of the physical reason for the entire situation we find ourselves in right now. & The reason masses of men (& women) seeking God are or will shortly be for the first time EVER IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY reading the words of a divinely inspired and appointed WOMAN of God.
There is no Book of Joan … only of John. Well, Dad & his most accomplished and supportive first born son thought it was about time to put a new message of justice and equality for all forward, and to change that sexist reality.
Now let's talk about the more hidden energetic & spiritual reasons.
What is really going on (that only those with spiritual sight practiced and ordained by the father can see?)
In the energetic realm three is a power number (a cohesion and alignment of force particularly difficult to break.) Hence the father, the son and the holy ghost.
Our enemies have also aligned in a threesome. First, let me just say this is probably the single most difficult subject I have ever attempted to teach. I know it in my bones and my soul, but it is very hard to explain the energetic in physical terms. I will do my best but understand, I like all of you, am ultimately only human and limited by my faculties, even when used as a tool by source.
I am going to describe this as if it is factual, because I am working to inspire confidence and faith in the Lord Our Creator who sent me. But you may come to see the same energy in a different manner that works to describe it best for you. This however is how I see it (in a manner I can wrap my mind around.)
The first of the three major types of darkness in physical form we are fighting is out of control Human Ego (which I often just call dark ego or ego.) If you read my past blogs you will discover there is good ego (I see it as blue ego) and bad ego (which I see as a dark shadow).
The fear we have all felt in this repeated physical life (as a result of the necessity of living on a planet that is dictated by the rule of survival of the fitness) has caused us to create thoughts of less than the light (love, kindness, generosity, the rule of abundance and universal nurturing, etc). Thoughts like God doesn’t love me, or there is no God, or God is not good because look at what he allows to happen to the world? At some point after long suffering and confusion we all go dark in our head.
We all, in the beginning especially, find true joy and love. But as soon as we become aware, we are immersed in the internal fight of dark verses light. No matter how bad things are or how good things are in our life, we are ALL exposed to both aspects of life on planet earth. Spirit makes sure of it. And we all find ourselves leaning in one direction or the other.
On a sunny, warm day when have the time and the abundance of resources to feel secure and the luxury of relaxing, its easy to bask in and understand and know the light.
When it’s cold and miserable out, and you have to do things like trudge around in the mud and take care of a bunch of farm animals seven days a week 365 days a year for years on end, it can get a little harder to feel and bask in the light (or to even believe its still there). Throw in a few hard core heartbreaks (most of us have gone through); a breakup, a death or 2 or 20, a broken bone or broken back or horrendous infection that eats you away from the inside out; no money to feed or care for yourself and that which you have brought into this world and created, and life can become down right cruel and torturous.
This is when you really find out what you are made of, and what those around you are made of. The light or the dark.
If you are willing to do whatever it takes to feel comfortable, climb over or murder (in thought or deed) your innocent fellow life (even if its to care for your own created life), and could care less what the real consequences are, only what the apparent consequences are, you are seeking and living in the dark.
We are living in a society that is designed to bring us to this place. Because as I have said above, it is dark ego controlled. What does that mean exactly?
Those dark thoughts we have and keep repeating to ourselves, they open the door to a force that has been created over the ages by mankind. You become open to the suggestion of it. And it has grown larger over time, because it collects our thoughts. It feeds off of our dark thoughts. It becomes our dark thoughts. We have created an energetic dark entity that is the culmination of all of human fear and ultimately its lack of faith in the good plans our creator has for us.
We have given it life out of the darkness, energetic form, and it has intention. It is made of darkness, and therefore by it’s very unemotional original nature it simply seeks to surround, overtake and consume us. Because we are afraid it is powerful. We created a powerful entity to protect us from God (the one we don’t trust) and to empower us to almost becomes Gods ourselves, that can overcome him.
I see this entity as a large gorilla, with its seat of power in the physical in China. It beats its chest and clamors for war and many feel they would rather be with it than against it. It also has tentacles, that reach out from the center of the essence of that which it is (a deceitful tyrant) into the backs of the minds of humans.
If a human is consistently dark enough in their thoughts and not seeking for a reason to love (or even when they are) they are particularly vulnerable to it’s invasion. It is that voice in your head pretending to be you. It is the thoughts that intellectualize and make sense, but that ultimately are not guided by source and thus are simply wrong.
It is our mind that gets us in trouble with ego. And when that ape takes over, we start banging our chest, seeking to stomp the light and life (even with words sometimes) out of anything bright that gets too close. Ego-ape's attitude is, if spirit will not submit and allow itself to be controlled, it needs to be eradicated on some level. In other words, if you are in heart and mind the spirit led, you are enemy number one.
But to have the kind of power this entity has over our world right now, it needs co conspirators that can feed it more than just dark thoughts. Ultimate power is the light of creation. And even a dark soul is lighter and thus more nutritious to it than that soul’s ego thoughts.
When the ape got big enough to begin influencing groups of humans, it became very attractive to those souls that seek power before everything else … even over life itself. They do not like the necessary to lights survival spiritual hierarchy.
They know like the father and source, on some level they are both number whatever AND source, equal with all of life of the light.
So, like us having dark thoughts somewhere inside our mind, somewhere inside these souls they seek power over zero. With time they have grown disdainful of and irritated with their creator, and that ape’s got a lot of power. He could legitimately actually overthrow the father right off of that heavenly thrown.
And so every once in a while, one of the 500ish finds themselves drawn to the dark in a larger portion than that part of them that is still light. The lower portion of almost all of our cups has darkness. Those soul pieces sorting through trauma and working through emotional pain. If they go too dark, they are regularly shed by spirit, like taking off and throwing away an old pair of shoes. The sacrifice of the less keep the larger whole healthy (what did Spock say about the needs of the many?)
No only does that happen in the cup, it happens in our larger collective soul family. It is SOS when a higher collective soul begins to go dark. Drawn to human ego and that ape’s power, it turns from God. In almost every life, when it falls asleep to wake up to the physical, it makes the same dark choices repeatedly. Murdering and harming innocence in defiance of God, and working to overtake him and ultimately all of life ruled by the light. Because a dimmer world is one more easily managed by this force.
When a collective soul goes dark, the bulk of the upper half million soul drops that are not allowed to take human form (they are either angels or high level animals) are thrown out of the fully controlled by the light spiritual realm (heaven). Because they become that which they have focused on. They are angels who have allowed themselves through humanity to be drawn to the dark and thus have become demons.
Demons are literally fallen angels. And they literally reside in a darker heavier realm ruled by them (what most would call hell.) Somewhere in between these two realms, intermingling here on planet earth with the physical, the two entities meet and do battle. The demons fight for and are controlled by their soul number (because they are an extension of it) and the ape, and the angels fight for their respective physical souls and the leader of their army and ultimately for the light and all of life as we know it.
There is only so much information I am privy to (that which is required to teach you I suspect). I know of two higher souls that have fallen. The first was number 16. The male aspect of that soul was what we have come to know as Hitler. And the female aspect was his wife. The bulk of both of those souls, 99%, have been swallowed up by the dark and are gone (or deleted as I sometimes like to say when I am particularly annoyed with the dark). We good guys work through the ages to save these beings. Giving them life after life and chance after chance, but eventually we are forced to cut our losses. The one percent that survived has been absorbed by (and become a part of) another admiring and loving soul or has been sent to the back of the line to start over as a very young and small (ie weak) vulnerable entity that will likely do no harm for a good long while.
These souls always have generals they are working on pulling towards the dark. One of number sixteen’s proteges was number 27. Number 27 has now become the new Satan. It’s a bit like the Princess Bride movie and the pirate Roberts … who is going to be the next bad guy?
Number 27 female is more dark than she is light. She is currently the siren calling in the men and women and leading them to their destruction. Number 27 male is about half dark and half light. His ultimate fate still hasn’t been decided. But he spends a large portion of his lives doing great harm to God’s creation, following his soul woman’s more manipulative lead. He’s the one murdering and raping and child molesting and running over innocence to become ridiculously wealthy … and she is the one quietly inspiring him to do it.
They work in coherence with the ape. Number 27 man at his most evil lowest yet most powerful level is the secret animal trainer behind the ape, cracking the whip and bending that being to his will as he shows off to his woman. The number 27 woman is partially in love with the ape, admiring all he has accomplished on planet earth and thinking he is the answer to all her irritations with zero thru five (and even her own number 27 sometimes), particularly zero and one. Anyone ever see the movie King Kong? It is an ode to this relationship. Isn't she sweet and innocent and beautiful? Why would anyone ever want to hurt these two full on dangerous evil psychopaths? Yeah whatever. Get to know em for real a little. Then lets talk.
She feels she is beautiful and spectacular in her own way (and she can prove it) and she does not want to wait her turn to work up the line and become a creator of her own world, equal with her current partner. She would rather steal number one’s partner, bend him to her will, and take as many souls as possible with both of them. The higher the number trapped (sometimes via marriage and kids) or tormented or murdered, the bigger the catch for a bad guy.
Because that ape wants to be fed. And each soul of light that goes dark becomes food for him and ads to his power. So she and he and her number 27 partner (when willing) sit on throne’s (they’ve mostly stolen) as successful Kings and Queens and Angel’s of Light and reels them in.
We are literally fighting for souls. When the light focuses on and falls in love with their creators again, they energetically go to them, and are then caught up and contained and kept safe. And when they go to the dark to be consumed, they are lost. If enough souls in this realm go to the dark to be consumed, if the light becomes the minority, then we become an enslaved realm to the dark. And eventually we become a realm fully consumed by the dark … and just gone.
Number 27 female especially (but also male) are souls I know intimately. The number ones, especially Jesus and his one drop exact female soulmate (guess who that is?), basically stand in front of the number 27s, who have their sites set on ending zero and replacing them via the dark, and wave their hand and arms up and down to get their attention. You want something to torment and torture and eat?
Look over here. We are throwing tomatoes at that ape and are peasants ripping crowns off of and making fun of that new wanna be king and queen until we have them thoroughly focused on us. Because the ones ultimately work (along with working to save all of lower innocent life) to protect the zero. The same way the twos protect the ones. Because if zero goes dark, it is instantaneously GAME OVER. No need to worry about ending any other life.
I have been intimately surrounded by number 27 women my entire life. A huge part of me LOVES this soul and seeks to save her. I have succeeded in saving some of her (hopefully more than the last number 16). But after many many lifetimes of being tortured by her and watching her manipulate and inspire the murder of my soul mate (and a few others), that guy who is just the best; that a huge portion of you happen to be rightfully in agape love with too; I’m just about over it.
I’m so over it, I’m almost ornerier than Dad at this point (when in a bad mood). I’m ready to burn it all down (including my own physical self) if we can’t stop this scenario.
Because it so simply WRONG, and how do you guys NOT SEE THAT AND KEEP COLLECTIVELY LETTING IT HAPPEN?!
PART 9
THE GOD GIVEN TOOLS TO FIGHT THIS THREESOME
and a Little More Intimate Conversation About the Signs of Who They Are (because they are well hidden in plain site) and What They Happen to be Specifically Doing to All of Us (which I suspect will be an ongoing conversation)
PART 7
SLOW DOWN, TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDERS, AND TAKE A LOOK AROUND …
Because the proof of the natural duality of all of existence and the necessary ongoing fight for life’s survival (with period of hard earned peace) surround every one of us …
The 101 of Energetic and/or Spiritual warfare … Evil is real
As I’ve said before (here comes the repeat button) each and every one of us is a creator. We create first with our thoughts. No only do we create buildings and vehicles and computers and the internet and camera’s and instruments and artistic industries, we create LIFE with our thoughts. Ester Hicks and Abraham said it best when she-they stated, ‘once you create a thought, it goes out into the universe and then has the ability to think itself.’ That is called awareness and intention and it is the beginning of all of sentient biological physical life.
Any of us who have dabbled even lightly in religion or current new age philosophy, understand (or are seeking to) LOVE is the crux of the good ‘life in the light’ we have all experienced if even for a second, here on planet earth.
Unfortunately, the new age mystic community has had a bit of a ‘head in the sand’ tactic in dealing with the duality of existence. There is a very good and legitimate reason for this. We create what we focus on. If we ultimately focus on love and the light and connection, and can live predominantly in the natural joy that results from both, we will create more of it. And this is what best energetically pushes back and holds the void at bay.
However, the evil that is very real (especially for those of us who have met and come to know it well intimately) and rests in the dark, seeking all of life’s destruction, uses this naive innocence to pull the ultimate ‘wool over our eyes’ … perpetuating the concept that it simply does not exist. This is a particularly easy concept to push in our recent more evolved and technological age. As the criminal punishment for the harming and murdering of innocence has become a standard in civil society, blatant evil has had to withdraw even more into the physical shadows (a home it is most comfortable with) and has become more sophisticated in its seeking of the fulfillment of its desire to consume and overtake life.
The foothold the original creator’s had to give the darkness in the physical realm
As I’ve said, the physical realm mirrors the energetic realm. Our creator’s first task in ensuring the safety and perpetuation of life was to create an energetic safe space for the light. At it’s highest most elevated level, this realm is what many of us would call heaven. As some of our greatest minds have scientifically discovered when peering into the true ‘stuff’ physical time and space is built upon, there are multiple dimensions or universes or what one might call realms.
I’m not going to get into quantum or theoretical physics here, because a large bulk of God’s true wanting to believe vital army right now may feel left out of that conversation. And they are ultimately the reason for it … and thus need to be kept right at the center of it. But Hollywood HAS been helping the population to open their minds to the unending possibilities of the universe at large, and we need that foundation to have this deeper much needed conversation.
So the God-the light- created an infinitely large safe space and realm for itself and all of life. And began the energetic creation and building of a peaceful light controlled space. A place for the free seeking energy of source to flow unencumbered. But without the physical world, without a direct experience of the duality of TRUE EXISTENCE, this space with an eternity unfolding before it and no real purpose or direction was losing its desire to continue on, and thus losing the fight for the light against the void surrounding it.
The creation of the physical realm was the answer to this problem. A place where life could create and evolve and battle with the dark, find it’s truest desire, ultimately become that which it seeks, and then retreat to the energetic light to rest and lovingly connect and to and be safe. Because there is no understanding of what heat is, without experiencing the cold. Nothing will make you appreciate the sun more than a long cold winter or a week of cold rain. Duality is ultimately the truth of existence, and only after experiencing it through living it, can we learn to desire the aspect of the universe we seek, and to appreciate the good we have found and created.
Evolution is the truth … but so is the BIBLE
What you have to understand about the bible is (and remember this book is giving the writer you are currently reading the license to be potentially respected and read by a large portion of the world) it was written for a time and a people that existed 2000 years ago. You do not read the same books to your five year old that you read to your 14 year old (if you can get them to sit down with you at all as teenagers:)
A fifth grade level of education and receiving a high level PhD are two completely different sets of instruction. The Bible has done an incredible job of giving us the basics, surviving and continuing to inspire and guide through the ages (particularly the New Testament and the Book of Revelations in recent times). The voice and words of your original creators speaking through and as men resound and uplift our hearts and souls when we are truly open and seeking and coming to the truth like little children. But for some intellectuals who have obtained or are working on PhDs of whatever (other than the study of much of Christianity) … it can feel and sound a little too much like a fairy tale story written for 10 year olds.
I’ve been on both ends of the stick. I’ve believed (or at least tried to) every word was the exact testament and statement of GOD HIMSELF (tho Paul’s dislike of women speaking in church has never gone over very well with me:). And I’ve come to the conclusion that much of the religion it sparked has given too many big egos and bad guys the power to control individuals and the masses; curbing free will and spirit’s natural desire to often do and learn from whatever it wants, in spite of all of human civil societies dictates of the normal and respectable.
But, everything happens for a reason. When I was 19 years old, and had returned to my high school home in Massachusetts, seeking the stability and connection of the only real home I had ever known through my Army childhood of changing schools every year until I was 13 years old, I ended up living with a family led by Mike and Evvy Fischer in Groton (and I may have those names wrong as it’s been a long time with zero connection to that experience other than my memories.) They were hard core evangelical Christians. Mike was an educated computer science professional, and he specialized on the side in the study of the book of Revelations. He was so convinced that we were in the end times, that he didn’t feel it was necessary to save money for his young children’s college education.
Mike immersed me, through multiple volumes of books and hours and hours of heated conversation, in the concept that this biblical Book of Revelations (and Daniel and others in the Old Testament) was in fact predicting and prophesying the future. One we were currently living in. I took it all in over those six mind bending months, and when I moved back to Colorado to continue on with my college education, for the most part I sort of forgot about it.
The bulk of the message he was delivering was not a pretty one. Hanging out with mostly like minded but education seeking well off hippies in an awesome fun location; studying, camping, skiing, climbing and riding horses through the Colorado Rockies seemed like a much better use of my time and manner in which to get to know the ultimate creator.
However, occasionally, I couldn’t help but notice Mike seemed to actually have a pretty good line on some major world events as they were unfolding. But until there was an evil leader having survived a bullet to the head still walking around and a couple of preachers and/or witnesses ranting and then their bodies laying for days on end in the streets of Jerusalem, I wasn’t going to worry about it too much. He had definitely clued me in to a few less obvious signs; unlike a bunch of people suddenly levitating and or disappearing off the planet or Jesus floating down upon a white horse.
But you know, in the meantime life goes on and you have to figure out a way to negotiate it. And pushing farm animals around large piles of wood by the way is really fun (when it works out at least)! It kind of makes your time here on planet earth ruled by a less than spirit good guy controlled human society worth all the BS (if you can manage to survive it).
The point of this little dirge is this (and hey, don’t look at me, the holy spirit has a better vocabulary than I do, and it is a bit of a mournful song). I was right there as a teenager (biblically speaking) … I drifted all the way to the other end of the stick … and here I am right now standing after a lifetime of experience right in the middle somewhere.
The bible for the most part is God speaking through the mouth and pen of divinely holy spirit inspired men. However, the human ego with less than good intentions for it’s host, works hard at infiltrating our thoughts … particularly when we are putting ink to paper. It is also an expert at twisting truth in this new age. And then there is the simple fact that we were being taught as children (compared to our current evolutionary state). The 7 day world creation story is an analogy for evolution. The symbolism of this book is ongoing and never ending (and also as it turns out frighteningly accurate for the right here and now). It’s kept theological intellectuals fully engaged and entertained for 2000 years.
As so many have repeated, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Those he divinely inspires and calls to his work, particularly those ordained for major world altering events, find themselves surrounded by and immersed in mystery and symbolism. They are living on his whim. I have no idea whether I’ll be traveling the world, dining with Kings, and coaching the winning of gold medals among the elite in the upcoming months; or sitting locked up in the dingiest nastiest hole on civil planet earth you can imagine, with all my belongings scattered to the wind.
I suspect that’s the way he wants it, as the true outcome is not yet decided. I quickly came to know if I didn’t prioritize focusing on and writing this blog and all its parts immediately (until I get his thumbs up that it is done for the time around at least) my ponies and I weren’t going to be eating very well any time in the near future. And I suspect my direct future is deeply connected to the ongoing and upcoming state of the bulk of the folks reading this. So … here we are. Looking at a cross roads in the fate of humanities diverging timelines … and being given an opportunity to make both an educated AND a faith based decision.
Survival of the fitness (the ultimate in competitive sport) is not a fun concept to live with … but it is a necessary one
I’ve discovered Dad doesn’t really want cute furry little bunny rabbits as the main course for the coyotes every day. Or baby deer being slaughtered by lions as they feast and rip legs off of the innocence that is still moving as they devour it. He wasn’t too excited about the idea of brutally removing the entire planet of the gorgeous and spectacular dragons we call dinosaurs that ruled this world for eons. He LOVED those reptiles that were the epitome of his creation at that moment. But he needed to make way for something even more glorious. And he knew the co existence of these two rulers of the planet (or even the evolution of his next major creation) was not going to happen as things were.
He also knows it is VITALLY IMPORTANT to all of life, that those living in the physical plane on the planet we call earth UNDERSTAND in their literal bones there is something out there that will cruelly consume all of innocence without bias to feed itself and take over EVERYTHING within it’s path. And unless we become strong and able enough to withstand it via survival of the aware, the strong and the fit (both intellectually, emotionally, energetically and physically), we can and will likely be extinguished. The extinction of the dinosaurs, the intensity of those inspired to study and dig them up, is a warning to all of mankind.
As impossible as it may seem given the surroundings of some, life is currently losing
I am writing this to tell you unequivocally, right now in this solar system mankind is currently the biggest single threat and enemy number one to this entity. I am also here to tell you as things stand right now WE AND OUR CREATORS AND ALL OF LIGHT AND THUS GOOD LIFE ON THIS PLANET (AND THUS IN THE ENERGETIC REALM AS WELL) IS CURRENTLY LOSING THE FIGHT.
Our world has dimmed. The energetic world has dimmed and is being encroached upon. Its not just us in this realm feeling the pain of this fight. Our father is under constant attack. Our mother is under constant attack. A detrimental portion of our heavenly father is feeling unloved, unappreciated, and is quite tired and ornery.
Because as the bible has repeatedly worked to teach all of us, he IS a man in the sky Mike. You are simply wrong about that. The Rev being a great holy man through the ages, and mind, perhaps clouded by the very ego and virus he preaches against (as so many are in this confusing time). Or perhaps we’ve been set up as I suspect. Spirit created the whiley and tricky coyote as well … and I know for a fact that energy is a strategy employed by those in charge upon us when necessary (cause I can tell you horse trainers use it against the mentally weaker all the time:). Because as I’ve said in other places, its not just the ego that clouds the mind at times of great importance. Regardless, it doesn’t really matter. Following the lead of your number one, you, like so many of us, are here to teach by your own sacrifice.
The original creator is ALSO source, light energy, and all of life pulsing through the heavenly realm and the physical solar system. He is BOTH. The alpha and the omega. Unknowable in his fullness and complexity to the human mind. However, we are created in his likeness so that we have at least a shot at understanding him.
He is the universe, and he is a man. Come to this earth to play with his children. All of sentient moving life gets tired. All of sentient moving life can feel loved, and it can also feel abused and taken for granted. All of life can feel supported, and all of life can feel robbed and overtaken and consumed.
All of life that desires rest and peace can find it in a sunny meadow, and arise after a long rest to live again. And all of life that desires rest and peace can find it in a dark cave, to be consumed and disassembled by the darkness, never to emerge again in it’s current form … or anything even near it.
The enemy is running us ragged, stealing from us and enslaving us and murdering us so that we become so tired that we only desire peace at any and all costs. So that we are willing to stop fighting which will result in us never re emerging from our rest.
The wages of sin are death. The sin is seeking and loving the dark more than the light. And the death is both spiritual and physical. We are only eternal beings as long as we desire to continue to fight for life.
We are all born into sin. To step into a physical body on some level is to step into darkness (a heavier darker lower vibration than the spiritual realm). To come to this planet is to leave the safety of the spiritual realm ruled by source and to step into a physical world the darkness currently has great power over.
When we come here we fall asleep. So that our true intentions, that which we seek, will be known. Because we naturally become that which we ultimately seek. Those that repeatedly love and seek the dark will eventually, in spite of all of the sacrifice and efforts of source throughout the ages to save them, BECOME IT. And for life to continue as the light, at some point, that runaway infection that will kill all of us on every level, must be contained, culled and removed.
INTERMISSION … a couple of little quick and important sides I would like those of you reading this and taking it seriously to consider.
First, I’m going to take off my teaching hat and put on my coach Amy (real play by play advise as we go through this tough competitive and highly energetically shifting by the moment ride) hat …
As I took a short needed break (though Dad does want this info out asap) to take care of the ponies; one of my kindest long term most trusted and loving souls in the form of horse unexpectedly laid me out flat on the ground as I was turning him out. I’m talking seeing stars and just laying there looking at the sky as he took a tail straight up galloping tour around the farm; then headed for the bathroom to stuff Kleenex up my nose, spitting out blood as I brushed my teeth, hoof to the face (that could have easily killed me). I’m OK (nothings broken, just swollen), so no need to send the troops in, but as always there is a point to this little spirit inspired event. That’s right … battle comes in many forms.
Animals, along with being our own souls mirroring back to us clearly what is going on inside and around us, are energetic buffers. They absorb and eventually clear (if necessary) the energy of what is happening in any given physical location they are a part of. There are many messages my gelding (and Dad working through him) just gave me.
Here is the one I’m deeply inspired and motivated to give to YOU. There is powerful and potentially dangerous (though necessary) energy shifting around this message. For the high level energetic beings (and those close to them) you need to monitor closely how this knowledge is affecting you. If you are not ready to absorb it, if your good friend and creator spirit just kicked you so hard in the face that you need to stop for a moment to catch your breath and then take a trip to the bathroom to stop the bleeding, then do it.
Don’t go interacting with other poor lessor beings not ready to handle where you are at right now (ie resulting in an uncontrollable punch out of the energy surrounding you). They may throw you in a prison cell (or in a stall or on the automatic walker for 1 or 5 or 10 hours) until you calm down and get your head screwed back on strait. And you definitely are not going out with those mares (the familiar tribe my gelding is wanting to get to most right now). You are going to focus on me, the trainer, that bred you into existence and has a very definitive plan for you. So eyes up, head down guys. Remember not to bite the hand that feeds you. Stay alert to the state you are currently in, and take the time to calm the energy and re center, if that is what you need to do.
For those of you finding yourself terrified by the message I just put forward (one spirit has been in many ways protecting you from for a very long time) focus on the love. I know that sounds incredibly simple, but it is the answer right now. If there is no intimate or familiar human you trust, spend time in nature or with pets. The love of God and spirit comes in many forms. It’s not a coincidence that the movie Bob Marley: One Love is about to hit the theaters. This high level number one musician is the universal leader of agape love presented in song. Go see this film. Support Agape love. (Again, more thumbs up from the big guy … it’s powerful stuff and it will generate abundance in all of it’s forms.)
Secondly, I’m going to put on my General Amy, Joan of Arc yet still a shrewd new age business woman hat.
The darkness-ego-the void-Satan is working OVERTIME right now against this message and all who are onto it. Until I can explain in detail exactly how that is happening (which will be the next part but one I will probably not be able to get to today) it is working to keep the truth from you and to keep you in the dark regarding all of this. Like messing with website analytics. Do you really think I can publicly predict altering the skyline on collective command, but I don’t know WIX and crew? I know they’ve got a gun to your head. What are you going to do about it .com warriors?
The enemy works to gradually lull you to sleep with a soft bed and lots of mind numbing noise. Sorry, but Dad says yes. This is coming out. Don’t try to defy the creator of all of the universe. There are plenty of website hosts in the world. I own these words. I can put ‘em anywhere.
And Facebook, do not use this event to advertise … not without our direct permission and some regular royalty checks with more than just a few digits. We are shifting the economic scales to the good guys (and not just in California) and it is going to start right here as is fair upon this hill. While you have and can be a valued (though frankly no longer necessary) resource; cause I know you’ve been majorly messing with those likes and comments and friend requests forever; just remember you are the support staff, not the main event.
Salute. That’s the right answer. Dig deeper guys. If you aren’t shoveling a pile of horse poop for days and hours on end and getting to spit out blood as a thank you I don’t want to hear about it. Like I’ve said folks … HIDDEN ARMY. Dad’s ultimately giving you the thumbs up or this wouldn’t be public (cause we all know I don’t need that for you to read it.) You too youtube … good job. I actually have nothing to complain about regarding you right now. If we can keep Dad smiling and in a good mood, life is going to be easier on all of us (I hope.) Cause I’m here to tell you he is a little scary when he is ornery. I know the enemy well and EXACTLY what you are up against (probably better than most of you.) So just keep working on it soldiers … and remember this is the turtle mission.
Which brings me to another quick point. Inspiration and micro management. Every somewhat free in the light courageous enough to be a soldier for God human on the planet right now is vital to this mission. I-we do not micro manage from the physical realm. It is too big.
Connect spiritually. Use the name Jesus Christ to remove the darkness. It is not a fairy tale story. It all happened, right down to the immaculate conception. He has been given that power, as has his name, because he earned it. Over and over more than any of you know. Once you are sure you are coming from the right place and worshiping the right God (darkness disguised as an angel of light, remember that) act out of inspiration. You do not need my ongoing direction, particularly if you are a leader. Make the little and big decisions. If it is a mistake coming from the wrong source and important I will vibe onto it and let you know. This is the only way we beat them. Strategy that is bigger than us and comes from a higher realm. Strategy they can not read or even feel because it is instant and unexpected.
Finally, take it from me, its really hard to fight bad guys and stay uplifted (as I know many of you know.) Remember the scene in the original Guardians of the Galaxy, where Chris Pratt (#1 btw for those who it’s not obvious to by this point) is dancing to Come and Get Your Love (I hope I have this right guys, I’m tired and don’t have time to pull up the movie again) and taking out the little gremlins as he fights his way to get the treasure? Well, the treasure is love. The gremlins are the dark enemy in form; and casually dancing and enjoying the good music is a great way to ride out this mission (if you don’t come face to face with the giant gorilla and his clan and can swing it.) It’s a just an energetic vibe I want to focus on and put out there, because its a good one for us older slightly battle worn down warriors.
PART 8
THE DETAILS OF THE ENERGETIC FORMS THE DARKNESS HAS TAKEN
(and taken over) to silently kill us with kindness and ultimately win this fight to enslave and extinguish the light
(coming soon … and by now you all know why:)
Part 6
VITAL INFORMATION ABOUT WHO YOU REALLY ARE & HOW IT ALL WORKS, SPIRITUALITY FOR THE NEW AGE
(the more complicated truth the people in mass are finally ready to begin to take in)
That's right … I'm changing Part 6. Like all good cutting edge creation, this is a fluid work in progress. As every able writer & teacher knows, the order of the information & ideas presented are vitally important. So one must be flexible as in’spirited’ inspiration dictates.
Remember how I said a while back in a previous blog if I gave everything away here, there would be nothing left to teach in the clinics Dad feels are vitally important to the next stage of his plan?
And btw, as I was feeding the ponies in the field tonight furthest & closest to a decent sized road, I noticed a bud light bottle on the ground just outside of the fence, the logo of which this past professional bartender did not recognize. It was labeled NEXT (their new light brand I guess). As I reached down to pick it up, a semi-truck came flying past with the giant red letters PERFORMANCE labeled on its entire huge side.
Guess what that means Grand Prix riders? I love it when spirit delivers & physically randomly solidifies profound messages & convincing signs of which direction to now turn in. And look at that … if you happen to get to be a part of it company CEOs & owners, God gives you the thumbs up & some free advertising, & you didn't have to spend a penny. Apparently spirit isn’t frowning down upon all of corporate America (just the guys secretly running & puppeting our governments & selling it's people down the river so they can turn a ridiculous profit by those who haven't truly earned it). But I digress.
To say the Lord works in mysterious ways is as I've learned, the understatement of the ages. Spirit is not an on-call fortune teller, miracle granter or encyclopedia for all questions any (even the holy & righteous) mind may ask. Seek & ye shall find is ultimately true … but what they don't put in the fine print is it may take you 2000 years and about 50 lifetimes of seeking to get there. And here is why.
There are certain historical events, as it turns out, that are fairly pivotal & vital to mankind’s (& all of life’s really) ongoing success. So, as one might imagine, these important messages & the resultant shifting of the energetic pendulum are carefully & thoroughly prepared for by spirit. Key to the proper unfolding of this (well beyond any human mind’s) complex plan, is being certain of who God’s messenger is. Because there is nothing our enemy loves more than showing up as an angel of light & running God's flock off of a cliff.
If EVERYBODY was privy to the keys to the kingdom; in other words privy to truths that will transform how we see the world and our role in it, it would be mass chaos. To tread & maintain on the careful narrow path of good life’s success, there must be ordained & accepted leaders. And clear obvious signs that point to those God has chosen for this specific job at the appointed time. One of the ways these messengers are established (other than prophecy fulfilled & miracles witnessed by the multitudes) is teaching at a level & in a manner that has never before been witnessed. They literally uplift the world to a higher plane beginning with spirit led knowledge.
So, even tho one may wear jeans & a baseball hat instead of robes, teach & preach from the middle of an arena rather than a church, & be the last person anyone might ever expect to take on the human world's darkness & wake God’s chosen up to the important mission they've been patiently waiting to fulfill; you might still find yourself thinking ‘Woa … how does she know that?’ & Why hasn't anyone else ever mentioned it before? Because come to think of it, it makes a lot of sense, & I just have this feeling deep in my gut that it may all be true. & It's a game changer.
It's not necessarily because all of those top adorned in international medals and ribbons horse trainers, preachers & new age mystics & theologians & martyrs & spiritual leaders may not have been the general article, doing exactly as god, spirit & the universe had led them to do and say (with hopefully as little ego intervention as possible.)
It's because there can only be one catalyst, one trigger, that ultimately sparks the fire that will light the bomb of enlightenment this world is now at least partially ready for. & Those of you seeking & open to the truth, need to know who it is that is commanding and speaking thru THE SHE that will push that button this time around.
So there is information that has been withheld and reserved for this age, & the appointed messenger. Once that knowledge is publicly brought forward and discovered, you spirit led men & women of the light who are truly tapped in & speaking & hearing clearly from the genuine source, will be granted the opportunity to confirm it's truth. & you will come to understand the reason why you were not allowed to see it before this time. The spiritual water that quenches the soul, these life affirming truths, are now here for EVERYONE.
But be forewarned, every witness to this knowledge and event will be held individually accountable when you face your creator. So before you stand up & scream blasphemer, remember who yelled those words at Jesus (as unlikely a world altering Messiah as any other human walking the planet at that time). And how they are now regarded by history, in both the spiritual & the physical realm.
All who hated & who continue to hate that God ordained first born son of the original creator & man (if & after they come to truly know him), are aligned with the dark. And all who love him are aligned with the light from which their life ultimately sprang. There is no coming to the father but through him. There is no heaven on earth but through him.
Because he is the original catalyst. He is the earned and ordained test by which the creator has chosen to determine WHO YOU ARE and WHO YOU SEEK TO BECOME. As Jesus himself said, you can not serve two masters. There is no sitting on the fence. You work for light & life, or you (even unknowingly) work to extinguish & destroy it.
Now let me explain to those big egos out there who prefer to consider themselves ordained Gods (with or without the original creator's clear & obvious blessing) the WHY.
The 527 ish big souls of whom we are all a part …
The spiritual realm & the physical realm, as I've said before, mirror each other. As I'm trying to explain infinitely complex subjects in a manner in which we can actually now grasp, bear with me and realize this information is a summary of a state of being and order to the spiritual universe we will not truly ever understand until we meet it face to face. But when you are under the strong Influence of the energy of the holy spirit; the truths you are shown are dependable & real & most importantly, will eventually positively influence your level of clarity & thus your ability to succeed in this situation we ultimately call living on planet earth in the here and now.
When the father, zero, created life, he began with the creation of the spiritual. Everything you see in the physical, was first created in the energetic realm. Beginning with the soul state. At this time, there are only 527 ish big souls. Think of each big soul as being a cup of water (that is actually fluid contained energy). There are 527 male souls, & 527 equal counterpart female souls (soul mates or brothers or sisters or however you prefer to think of it).
Within each of these cups, is about 1 million drops of energy. Your soul & your life represents approximately one drop of this energy. You have a higher soul self of whom which you are intimately a part & a piece of, that is your direct collective spiritual self. About half of these million souls come to the physical plane as humans. One drop may live multiple lives at the same time, or it may not. Spirit can divide & combine at any time as it sees fit. It can shed parts of itself, & it can absorb parts of other souls.
There is a spiritual hierarchy that is both respected & enforced within this realm. Like the physical plane, there are rules by which life is organized & guided. The original creator (& his female soul part) is zero, there is a first born son & daughter, a second born son & daughter, etc, all the way down to #527. These #s are generally ordered by the age of each soul (tho not always, as drops & souls can move up & down the hierarchy). Each soul is a creation … by the original & or its older soul parents.
There is also such a thing as spiritual royalty. These are the older family members who are considered original creators to the remaining 522. They are numbered zero thru five. The number 12, the twelve tribes of Jacob, represent this spiritual royalty. 0-5 (0-1-2-3-4-5) of male & 0-5 of female souls. These are particularly powerful & influential energies & beings. Jesus was and is a first born son. He is what I call a #1 … a member of the #1 soul family. He is the literal male right hand creator and protector to the father (the male zero).
As there is a spiritual hierarchy that generally represents power and age … there is a hierarchy of enlightenment within each cup. The souls floating at the top are the enlightened … literally more drawn to & of the light, & the souls ranging down towards and at the bottom of the cup are the murkier less evolved darker aspects and desires of each soul piece. Those that tend to and may choose to be more drawn to the dark.
The top half million drops of the cup do not come to the physical realm as humans. Soul can enter and live life as any and all beings and any sex. We tend to re-incarnate repeatedly, as it is the experience of physical life that pulls forward our ultimate spiritual desires, and thus ongoing evolving creation. The top half million drops come here as either high level animals (such as lions, dogs, cats, horses, elephants, camels, whales, dolphins, birds, etc) or remain as angelic or energetic protection that holds & molds the required energetic space of the spirit realm & those in the physical.
This is why I consider many animals, including horses, to be enlightened beings. Now I know this will confuse some of you. How can a dog, that eats cat & horse poop, licks & smells butts, pees on everything, has random sex with human legs & couches, & runs away & gets run over by cars, be more enlightened than any human?
Their SOUL is elevated. The energy of that which animated them. They are still bound by the physical instincts (ie blue ego; read the past blogs) & rules of that particular species. They have the brain power of that species, (& thus the lack of destructive human ego & darkness), that particular body’s physical tendencies & its desires, the evolved survival skills, etc.
To SEE the truth and to not be deceived by the darkness, you must learn to distinguish between the SOUL and the PHYSICAL FORM it happens to present in.
How this understanding and spiritual in sight changes the way you see the world …
When I look at a person with spiritual eyes & I'm curious about who they may energetically be (or if the soul I SEE looks familiar to me) I ask spirit & I usually see an accurate number drawn in front of me in my mind's eye. As I've learned to live with and get to know this knowledge, I've discovered common traits among various soul groups.
It's like knowing a person … kind of. Like if you met their hand only you might not recognize them, unless you really knew that hand because you were intimately familiar with that person's entire body. We each have certain soul numbers we become extremely familiar with. Our own higher self first obviously, our direct other sex soulmate obviously, but also various connections you've made over the ages.
You’ll notice certain problems & emotional issues & connections being naturally made and worked out over and over with various versions of various numbers (even in their animal forms), & you will begin to recognize obvious patterns.
Who is Jesus the Christ really? …
So Jesus was and is a male number one, & at the very tippy top of his particular cup. But there are and have been literally hundreds and thousands of number ones living upon & wandering around this earth (& still are). That specific #1 drop we call Jesus is not currently fully occupying a physical life as a human. Unfortunately, even a number one male (a direct spiritual brother and soul member of Jesus Christ himself), particularly one located at the bottom of his cup, can be problematic for mankind.
This is what is meant in the Bible when it says even the elite will fall in the end times. The smaller & higher the soul number, the more naturally powerful & energetically influential it is. But when that power goes dark (as those collective lower soul levels are evolving thru and processing things like the repeated unwarranted murder of the ultimate good and innocent first born creator) it's potentially ‘Danger Roy Rogers!’
Jesus is and always was a Lion and a spiritual warrior (as at the moment he is the able leader of God’s angelic armies.) He was the ONE that simply raised his hand and answered the call, putting on the white robes and becoming the sacrificial lamb his father asked and required him to be (as the straying into the darkness sheep of the children of earth needed at the time, and have continued to need over the ages.)
This Lion willingly became the Lamb out of a PROFOUND LOVE, as there is no greater love than the willingness to lay down one’s life for your brother. He has given everything he has created and become in this physical world repeatedly, allowing his always innocent and good life to be prematurely ripped to shreds and temporarily consumed by the darkness, in support of the goal of humanity's awakening and a softening of its heart. He does this for the preservation and salvation of all of life, in a gradually dimming, growing 'dark human' and void controlled, physical realm.
PART 7
SLOW DOWN, TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDERS, AND TAKE A LOOK AROUND …
Because the proof of the natural duality of all of existence and the necessary ongoing fight for life’s survival (with periods of hard earned peace) surround every one of us …
Coming shortly … (cause those ponies don't stay fed & feeling well cared for, for very long:)
Part 2
THE SLOW MOVING COMING OF A NEW AGE
This is a mostly quiet, slow moving spiritual revolution guys. We live in a human ego-maniacal society that only approves of real God given empowerment (the kind that shifts the course of human history & re balances the economic scales towards favoring the righteous & innocent); that is 100% contained & well under its thumb. And most with any real experience pushing buttons in this realm innately know it. Which is in part why this has been & will continue to be a marathon race led by turtles (tho the hares will show up occasionally and make a surprise appearance … just to keep you awake.)
If you are picking up a large house, throwing it on a flatbed & heading down the highway, you better be driving slow. There are some big energies being shifted on planet earth right now. If we want to keep the aspect of that house called ‘human society & technology that is working well’ intact, this situation is going to be led by those thoroughly prepared & well versed at that specie's ego control. Those with an ear to the ground listening & following the instructions of the zero star general coaching this mission every second they are in the show ring (regardless of who knows or accepts it, because at the end of the day, all we are really interested in is producing that blue & gold.)
As it turns out, finding ways to feed and house & move around the planet in large numbers (& train & intimately sit upon in acrobatic feats of amazement) 1000 plus pounds of willful, free loving, hard hoofed & teeth bearing animal flesh, prepares you to be a bit of an expert at managing & moving big energy through society. And using big green as a commuter for working on a year now (a powerful but old, fragile & slightly used & abused international vehicle carrying our physical aspirations from point A to point B) doesn't hurt either. (I guess Dad & John wanted to make sure most of the population wasn't running Ronin & I off the road anytime soon. It definitely puts me in a distinct disadvantage in any kind of a chase tho … like I said … turtles).
Are you guys starting to get this? EVERYTHING, especially in this time & age, happens for a reason. The symbolism, the parallels, the analogies surrounding this particular situation are PROFOUND AND VAST. (I've been shown a glimpse & I haven't even BEGAN to wrap my mind around them.) We as a people will be analyzing & learning from them for decades, long after the living & experience of it is over.
Your father knows his human children well. Nothing keeps their attention long term like a good intellectual, mind bending, heart wrenching murder mystery. & Dad and his crew of angelic planners make Agatha Christie & Alfred Hitchcock look like amateur hour.
I know there are a bunch of you right now best case scenario balking and resisting to climbing on board for this particular ride (come on pony, there are carrots & apples in that trailer & a destination I can almost guarantee you are eventually going to like). Worse case scenario there are enough dark intentions towards me (what's the saying, don't kill - or disappear or abuse the four legged kids of - the messenger?) that I'm thinking twice, checking in above, and energetically preparing before climbing into big green & rolling down off this hill (even to open the mailbox or buy a gallon of milk).
So, I hesitate to say this (& especially to put it out there publicly), but with the power & ordainment of repeated biblical prophesy fulfilled & multiple public miracles displayed over a lifetime of every shape & size behind it; for this new day & age at least, it officially starts right HERE.
So let's keep cracking those minds open & see if we can’t shed even more light (move back energetic ape … we are pulling the curtain on you & your kind; & your time of free roaming havoc wreaking is nearing an end.
Don't worry, I'll explain:) …
PART 3
THE DUALITY OF ALL OF THE UNIVERSE & THE NATURAL FIGHT FOR LIFE (if it is to continue in it’s present form)
My qualifications …
Now, I hate to say this, because this information is already out there. But being an instructor of horsemanship since I was about 15 years old (beginning with 4-H at the Fort Devons, Mass, Army Base, teaching at UW-Madison’s college program, a job in California straight out of college with about 40 students within a year; having millionaire company owners as students, Ivy League graduated PhD top academia leading professors, International statesmen (or at least the wives of them), working students & everything in between (including more recently an international world cup bronze medal winner) … and having been forced to become a bit of a professional salesman-marketer myself … I know a few things about teaching humanity when it comes to learning how to do something hard.
First & foremost, you to have explain why they want & or even may need this knowledge & skill. As any top salesman knows, to sell a product (no matter how good or bad or true or false), first you must sell yourself. And to effectively teach (once you have sold the need for the information or your valid qualifications to present it) it's important, especially with a new student or group of students, to be comfortable hitting the repeat button. REPEATEDLY.
So again, I have attained a hard earned Bachelor's of Science degree from a top engineering program (the University of Wisconsin-Madison). While technically it was in the Agricultural Engineering Department (I was looking for Environmental Engineering so I could do my part to heal Momma Earth, but it did not exist at the time); believe me when I tell you this was a real & thorough engineering degree.
I took high level physics (thermo dynamics, fluid dynamics, electronics, statics, dabbled in quantum physics), mathematics as far as you can go without majoring in math, computer programming, chemistry, microbiology, & touched upon just about every biological & mechanical mechanism that exists. It was a technical, analytical, 100% scientifically backed & proven, yet broad education.
The point is, I am not the crack pot that George and his growing crew (as his billions continuously shut down or literally bribe away even the most loyal friends & family members, along with attorneys & government officials) this past year has been trying to legally (on paper) make me out to be. If my stability & sound mind isn't obvious from this blog (& my ongoing against all odds survival that keeps allowing it to prevail) then let the piece of paper with the word DEGREE on it suffice (or at least get you thinking twice before that dark void reels you away & into mental oblivion.)
I can guarantee I haven't grown weaker & more clouded in the last 20 years … I am infinitely stronger & intellectually (emotionally & spiritually) clearer than I could ever have dreamed of being or becoming all those years ago. Right now as an overall good, innocent & righteous human being with something worthwhile to say & give, I am at my best. Which is WHY this past year has seen the worst attack on me & mine to date (& I hope is permanently over if enough of the father's intellectual AND physical soldiers hear & answer the call, as his angelic ones so obviously already have.) Now that the resume is established again for the gazillionth time …
PART 4
IN THE BEGINNING …
There was darkness. A void, a universal soup of unformed elemental potential, overtaken by the nothingness.
And then .. a spark … of self awareness. The light … & it grew out of the void. Out of pure intention & strength & a knowingness of what was the rarest of commodities in all of the universe. But possible. LIFE.
Life supported by truth. Knowledge & focus that would give rise to something good. A creator … of all of life as we know it. Rising up out of & with the void.
And against every odd in this vast universe of clumps of elements floating without intention through space; the light formed with the desire to live & to be free to make choices & have awareness. But it desired a home and a family (both energetic & physical). It desired to grow & be secure in its existence, within the vast void.
And so it created. And saw that it was good.
And it created creators & co-conspirators in the cause of life … to help … & at the appropriate times, to celebrate their creations.
But with the light rose a piece of the void that hated the light that defied it, by its very existence. So it waited in the dark for an opportunity to consume & extinguish that light.
And with mankind, that final most exciting likeness to the original’s energetic form, with the intention to think & make, (but also the most dangerous creation in its freedom & potential power over all of physical life), came the void's opportunity.
Because …
‘The men loved & sought the darkness … more than the light.’
PART 5
… AS FOR THOSE OF US WHO ENJOY PUSHING FARM ANIMALS OVER LARGE PILES OF WOOD …
Let's take a break from the heavy subjects for a minute & switch gears. Because if the above title doesn't make you laugh & remove every drop of pretension any of us past, present or potential future ‘Grand Prix Heroes’ may hold on to (& I bet a bunch of you can take a wild guess as to where a few recent additions to my horsey verbal repertoire have come from) you probably shouldn't be reading this piece.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only blogger out there who speaks to & is read by the full gamut of societal humanity on the most serious & important of subjects we face (the preservation of all of life, what our good guy creator wants for us & how he expects us to hopefully achieve that end goal, etc); & a little less serious subject. Like how we can win pretty prizes at pony events with our spruced up hay burners. So I get to make light of & find the fun & potential smile in all of it.
Because after all, JOY, free happy innocent supported play in a safe & protected to the best of our ability environment, is what I and all we good guys are ultimately fighting for. & If we can find enlightenment & maximize skills that help us to energetically shape the world's future while HONORABLY playing with some of God most beloved & giving creations, then we literally have found & balanced the best of both worlds (the energetic unseen & the physical).
So, here are a few more nuggets to add to the dozens of free tips from the miracle working (help to pull bronze medals out of less than thick air, be the catalyst to the major setting of one dark son & the literal rising of the other) coach Amy. & If you haven't started to figure out by now why I may have a little deeper line on being clued into some of this stuff … well then you just haven't been paying much attention.
When we are developing upper level horses, we are working with a large powerful mass of free seeking energy. & We are doing this in a very intimate manner (sitting upon it, melding & coalescing it's energy with ours, etc). It's dangerous work, because the kind of power required to do things like jump over 15 plus 5’ plus piles of wood is sensitive & explosive, willful energy.
When you are riding in a grand prix you are literally pushing a gigantic ball of energy you are balanced on top of around a challenging to the point of being nearly impossible, obstacle course. Developing these horses & riding them are two separate forms of energetic mastery. Doing both simultaneously is a particularly high level of understanding & skill.
Upper level horses in this day & age are literal gods on four legs (which I will explain in detail later). They are the upper level of the spiritual hierarchy & thus have the energetic power (if they are living in a body with the mechanical capability) to accomplish feats in the physical realm that are almost miraculous by their very nature.
Any serious horseman who works successfully with these animals on an intimate level will in some manner (whether they are aware of it or not) become a master of the energetic realm. Because you are practicing the art every time you touch one of these horses with the intention to create any kind of an end result. & all of us who are serious do this work daily. Unfortunately, this is true for both good guys & bad guys.
This practice (the combination of sensitivity & power required to engage in it), if you choose it & are granted the right by the higher powers that be (& even at times when you are not), will make it easier for you to see & manipulate the energetic world. Which surrounds all of us constantly & is the true lump of clay upon all of which first energetic & then physical life is built.
Once you have the power to see & move the energy, you can affect outcomes first in the energetic world, & then eventually in the physical.
Energetic strength is the key to life & all of physical strength & health. This innate understanding is how I was able to take a completely broken down (yet once spectacular) stallion named Cradilo, heal him with zero veterinary intervention, & then achieve successful negotiation of some of the most difficult levels of competition that exist for a horse & rider.
Once you get this stuff, see it & have honed the energetic mastery & power to manipulate it with your focus (which is how everything we see was originally created by higher beings) you can see the dark spots in energetic fields & clear them. Whether it be a living being or a territory you wish to energetically protect.
In terms of riding grand prix, as many of you already know (thus the piles of expensive energy manipulating & healing equipment we use) your horses need to be energetically enhanced & protected to compete & be maintained at the highest level. When classes are won & loss by fractions of seconds & minuscule rubs by a thousand pound animal, this added edge, particularly as the horses gain in experience but also age, is fundamental.
So, the clinics I've been talking about hosting forever (which I will get back to in detail later). At my current level, I guarantee, as I have already proven against every odd with Hunter (in spite of my ultimate competitor’s, what I like to call human ego’s intention, to keep this truth & me hidden & removed from the picture) I have something to offer every one of you (& your horses) working at my namesake’s level.
Then there is the little task of accomplishing what many of us came to this world to do (because it's true, salvation may be inspired by the one or the few, but the true achievement of its goal, the perpetuation of self aware life, is always a group effort). And that is to reach out into the world with the light, demonstrate & on some level prove who we are, & to spark change that will very simply make sure the world continues on in its evolution towards even more glorious forms of existence. & So that it becomes right now (or as soon as possible) a better place for ALL OF US to live in.
Because we are all unified. As you grow in enlightenment you eventually realize it is impossible to create or sustain real happiness & peace while innocence suffers. We get there as a communal global whole, or we never truly get there at all. Because those little islands of light & abundance & safety some of you have managed to create or steal, will be swallowed up by the dark virus that has to be eradicated from the entire system (the entire planet guys) if our world is to be truly a long term healthy & whole physical home.
To put it in horsey terms; when you have produced and own an entire herd … just because the valuable stallions with potential to hugely influence the business in the barn are getting fed first (possibly days first if resources are short) … it doesn't mean the ponies out in the field aren't just as important.
And I guarantee, unless everyone is getting fed equally at about the same time (within reason) that good creator is suffering & unhappy with the current situation. Only a destructive master, with horrendous intentions towards the life he has manipulated his way into being in charge of (because he is not a true creator) would ever enjoy seeing ANY INNOCENT PART of such a spectacular embodiment of life & the light, hungry or starved & suffering.
PART 1
How we got here …
Peace, like joy, happiness & true abundance, is an inside job. Most of us seek all of the above. Preachers preach upon where it might be found, societal & governmental leaders dangle these concepts like a hanging carrot just out of our reach, if only we will all behave like good little citizens & follow them, and anarchists tell us the only solution is to tear it all down. These ideologies clash as we attempt to learn to swim in a human world possessing more technological intelligence than common sense, & flowing & churning so fast that many can barely keep up. & we wonder why the overbearing sense of the common man drowning as the rich & powerful play on the shoreline, is overtaking us.
I spent my life searching for these answers. From almost the moment I could speak … I knew I was here to seek two things … horses & God. As I found both, & as a youth i spent many hours riding my horses into wild secluded places & building crosses and alters in random corners of the world, praying for insight & understanding as to why I was drawn to seek & do things few seemed very interested in.
Fast forward to 53 years later thru a lifetime of the highest possible level of success (repeatedly achieving ones personal dream against every odd) & deepest failure (almost completely losing this dream & everything else sacrificed for it to a society in the form of leaders & family members that say I don't think so; ur not rich. As a matter of fact, uve repeatedly thrown away & scoffed at the wealth we all strive & collect for. u don't get to do or have that); and you end up with an individual with a rather uniquely honed perspective on things.
7 MONTHS OF HELL
True peace finally came from within in the most unusual & rattling manner I could ever imagine. After searching thru every religion for decades for answers & ultimately a connection I have missed & longed for from the moment I arrived here on planet earth; a holy spirit induced vision came.
Not thru the church or the Bible I had spent so many hours searching in, or any particular religion; or the native indigenous peoples based shamanism I had come to study as I closed in on a sense of a possible meeting with the truly spiritual thru nature, meditation & vision quests.
But in a barn, hanging out with & caring for my horses, stone cold sober, doing the same normal daily chores id been doing for decades in this exact location, searching for nothing. Suddenly I was electrified. Stepping into two potential futures; one apocalyptic & terrifying & one spectacular. A fourth of July style celebration of prophesy fulfilled … the return of God's first born son on a white horse, peace & prosperity for all of innocent life & those seeking the light, & heaven on earth.
As I saught to share this experience with my mother, I found the house locked up tight, her disappeared inside, & myself baited & trapped by my perfectly normal & consistent concern of checking in on both of my parents (a father who had just died under both of our long term care) by a recently installed alarm. As I lightly tapped thru a small glass screen & shut the alarm off in whatever manner I needed to, suddenly the family & farm I had been protecting and caring for for years & the community I had lived in for decades treated me as a domestic terrorist, while I was unarmed & barefoot trying to check in on mom.
I was taken down & jailed by an army of armed police & did not see freedom for a solid two weeks; as I was poked & prodded by shrinks & doctors & jailers. A person with zero record & repeated awards as a result of veteran & community service. What I didn't realize immediately is I had been texting & messaging various online friends & to my public audience (which has grown over the years). & rather than checking in on me to find out what was going on, following my mother's lead, they ILLEGALLY locked up a citizen exercising her right to practice freedom of religion & freedom of speech (indicating no real intention to do any harm to any single living thing).
My mother, who as it turns out (& is not a huge surprise to the person who knows her best) is more concerned with property ownership, power & the appearance of being a good guy (a farm that would not currently be there in her ownership without said removed daughter) lied to the cops & the court about being & feeling threatened, when the opposite was actually true. Where is that lie detector technology folks?
So with no defense or real opportunity to present one, I was locked up & then again illegally evicted from my home upon release. My animals were neglected & abused thru ignorance, & I was given no real time or opportunity to collect my property acquired over a lifetime.
& I was basically thrown out of my family & home to the wolves. Fast forward to 5 months later, after being on the road searching for an acceptable home that might actually work & be sustainable, & u get a repeat of almost the exact same situation in a rural suburb of Lexington, Kentucky.
More electrified visions, this time backed by a public miracle, leading to me again illegally dragged out of an air BNB with no real legal cause or right or warning, locked up & tormented over the Christmas holidays for 6 days in the worst jail imaginable. My horses neglected & abused & my dog beaten, and you have pretty much summed up my last seven months (throw in a horse show, a ridiculously expensive location with a tendency to rob blind every mark it considers to b a transient tourist, a farm in northern michigan with an owner claiming to help but in actuality just another trap & & more torture for Amy, & that about sums it up.)
Is this Russia? Am I living in China right now? Do we believe in freedom of religion & freedom of speech & freedom in general, or not? You don't like what I've been shown (& have the hard earned public audience to gain a little ground with, after a lifetime of complete nose to the grindstone stability & service?) by a searched for, worshiped & honored every step in my own way God?
US government, mother, George Morris … you want to control this or simply make it go away? I'm a poor girl with a bunch of expensive kids to feed .. my legal home ripped out from under me & the bulk of my property stolen … it shouldn't be that hard to make me disappear permanently.
Surrounded by a society & people controlled & kept enslaved & in fear with money and your corrupt justice system & police force that does it's bidding regardless of the truth or the innocence of its victims. So from the top attornies to the bottom man on the street; they r chained or bought & paid for & probably not going to stand up for me or the god who has already proven in a pretty powerful way he sent me to do his bidding. (Have any of you publicly risen the sun out of the sky on command on a fully overcast day & cloudy afternoon lately?)
Well, unfortunately for u, the Lord works in unpredictable mysterious ways. So here I am, innocence finally beaten down & criminalized by the ultimate criminals (liars, thieves, & corrupt men & WOMEN who have manipulated their way into power) working against God & all of life.
Sitting on a hill on the single prettiest farm I've ever laid eyes on with the best view possible, surrounded by gorgeous horses & serious top horseman, located a few miles from the Kentucky Horse Park, with more potential to succeed & thrive than any single situation I've ever imagined.
Unlike Huntington Farm in Viroqua, Wisconsin & Stillwater Farm in outside of Lexington Kentucky; this Lexington farm is a location worth showing a little extra patience & focused persistence for. And guess what?, Dad agrees. That's why we are here. But we could use a little help guys. All you power players dwelling in the light … who know … I know you are out there.
This is a group effort. Where is team Dad? There has to be more than these wonderful God serving farm owners; who have withstood some fairly intensive attacks of their own as evil works hard to make sure they aren't here when the father issues the call.
He's already picked at least one coach … who is brave enough to actually pick a side & step out into the true light of life?
But we’ll get back to that later. Let's talk about ‘Lions & Tigers & Bears … OH MY! … I mean LIONS & LAMBS & HORSES … OH MY!’ (The poetry of word flow got away from me there for a minute:)
So, as it turns out, peace is an inside job. In other words, if u truly want to find peace, figure out who u REALLY are. Figure out why you REALLY came to this world.
Because take it from me; that little voice in your head that's saying … ‘I've got some major plans for you kiddo. You can only hide from this mission for so long. It's an important one. You signed on that dotted line before you came down here soldier. I'm going to make life really hard on you (& your four legged kids) until you go where I want you to go & do what I want you to do. And by the way; you are eventually going to own up to it all publicly.’
And I'm going, but dad, why are you being so mean to us? The bad guys hate us. & There are a pile of them. They seem to be running the entire country. They are the matriarchs of families (my own mother, as it turns out) & cops & judges & jailers & what appear to be nice horse farm owners … they are hidden everywhere in plain sight.
Look what they do to your kids who step into the light of your power and even begin to think about claiming it? Especially without a man made license & whatever random large church or religion backing them they can conjure up?
They disappear us … brutally … publicly … & no one ever seems to care much until long after we are gone. Because they don't want to be that guy hanging on the cross … apparently they just want to admire the handiwork of bad guys everywhere & keep their heads down to those men in apparent power here (not to you). because those crosses reminding us of what happens to those u send who self empower are everywhere.
And he says … not this time. We are going to fight back. How many red horses have you owned & ridden to glory horse woman? How many are on the front page of your website? Do you think that was all random? And I go … ooooohhhh!!! Woa. Heavy.
How long have I been predicting this? You think you are alone? What's over the ages the most read & printed book on the planet? What are the signs my hidden & planted army has been waiting for?
NOW STAND UP. AND CLAIM THE POWER I HAVE GIVEN YOU. SOUND THE TRUMPET & ISSUE THE CALL. DO WHAT YOU CAME HERE TO DO. Or mankind is the least of your worries soldier. Do you like eating & riding sleek horses? I take treason very seriously. I love you, but collectively I love them more. NOW SERVE AS I COMMAND. NOW. NOT TOMORROW.
But I don't want to. I'm just one little person. They want a man floating down from the sky … not a woman climbing up out of the trenches covered in mud. They want religious leaders, not horseman.
I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY WANT. This is my mission. I'm the man with the plan. I am the original creator. The zero. The circle. The alpha & the omega. I test the reins & put the tack on (& the whip & spur to) the horse that will win in the ring. Remind them of that.
Those in power have forgotten where true power comes from in this realm. They have forgotten that as beaten down and enslaved as my people are, they will fight for me & they will fight for life.
Your soul brother made the ultimate sacrifice. And I have felt & lived every moment of his pain as the darkness has repeatedly overtaken him. He knowingly laid his body open on the cross so that they would recognize & hear this call. Our call.
Now step into the light, be brave, and explain the truth I have repeatedly shown you horse woman, trainer & teacher. You are the writer & owner of a well read & respected blog (by those seeking & working for the truth) for a reason. OK Dad (head down, eyes up, salute.) I'm on it. I get it. Nothing else matters right now. It's time.
So this is part one guys … of many hopefully better edited versions to come over the next few hours & days … because Dad has a few things he wants me to say & explain. Hungry ponies mean I can't get it all done right now … so stay tuned … :)
New Blog (October 2023); 'A Tale of Two Worlds … Horse Shows and Wars' (the final weeks of Traverse City, and take a wild guess) ...
on Ace Blog Mobil
Preface
THE UN-UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A Plea To the People (Who Vote)
Does it strike anyone as surprising that all hell is breaking loose globally after the worst period of inner dissension this country has seen since the civil war? If the US political leaders of both sides of the spectrum don't get THEIR EGOS UNDER CONTROL, & begin thinking a little less about what they can do TO OR FOR each other & their powerful friends, & a little more about what they can do to strengthen ALL of their people, we will lose this OBVIOUS FIGHT FOR A NEW WORLD ORDER just laid right out before us.
Voters, demand that your leaders stop fighting so they can begin to work for YOU. If they don't, I recommend EVERY ONE of them be replaced with new blood. I can think of a couple of good friends of my own I happen to know would be great presidents. I'm sure we all know a few people like this … let's open our minds, self empower, & put them in office. We have a large arsenal of good, strong, intelligent, hard working citizens to pick from.
This ability to institute world change YOU HAVE (come reelection time) is the ONLY THING that really gets your leader's attention; off of their world of elite power plays & privilege; & on to you. USE IT. We have the internet. We have Twitter (sorry, X), & Facebook.
You don't need TV ads to promote a political candidate anymore … it can basically be free. Just collectively get behind a person you know who has INTEGRITY, strength & intelligence.
(A little political experience might be ok. But, since I personally would like to overthrow our entire current bureaucratic, slow, painfully inefficient, diseased with greed & corruption system; experience sucking off the tit of US citizens & doing things unethically, lazily & badly definitely need NOT be required.)
If you can run a non profit or a military unit or a farm or a school, I bet you can run the US government, far more efficiently than it is being run right now. & the minute you get that office, you will have a pile of advisors helping you to see every possible angle (if you are smart).
So there is no need to be intimidated. If you've been thinking about it, tell your friends & do it. We live in a wealthy country … working for it is good pay & fantastic benefits. Why aren't more of you applying for the top leadership positions that don't even require an interview (just a few applications & a bunch of folks agreeing it's a good idea)?
If our last President can get there with 13 filed bankruptcies, a knack for not so discreet criminal behavior, misguiding leadership & a mouth that rivals the most insulting politically incorrect rapper out there (sorry for the comparison guys), literally ANYONE can. If enough of us agree on this need, we can completely overthrow our current pack of hyenas that can't seem to agree on the color of the sky from moment to moment.
Politicians have to find a way to COME TOGETHER so the goal of strengthening our country & it's resultant ability to pursue happiness (which has previously uplifted & led the democratic world) may be collectively reached. This group (especially Congress) is by the majority useless. We are drowning in egoic led chaos. Open your minds and be fearless people, because a few hundred years ago this country rebelled from the norm & was set up specifically so that this current situation NEED NOT EVER BE.
CHAPTER 1 - WHERE I HAVE BEEN …
One of the items on my list to do for some time now has been writing this 2nd and final blog covering the last two weeks of the Greater Lakes Equestrian Festival Tournament of Champions in Traverse City, Michigan and the final highlight of the all summer event, the American Gold Cup Grand Prix. Sometimes good writing comes from instant inspiration, as in I saw and I wrote; and sometimes ideas and ‘life’ need to percolate. For reasons I didn’t at the time quite understand, after the show I was feeling inspired to wait on this piece.
I knew regardless of where I ended up for the next month (given a clear desire to avoid any hurricanes that might decide to hit my winter destination) I needed a minute to catch my breath and re-assess the form of my next move for both my horses, myself and my business. The horse show was good (which I will talk a great deal more about later), and definitely the right location for us for a period. But the timing for another equine sale (which equals a major alteration in my business and focus given the horses I have left) didn’t seem quite right.
The opportunity for smaller investments on one stallion (some of which I’m still working on, so be just a little more patient if you are waiting for a check) seemed the slower and more difficult, but also more prudent path. When you’ve worked a lifetime to own a small group of assets on four legs (with a powerful demon on your back trying to destroy and or steal it all), every move matters.
As any pro who has ever sold a horse knows, maximizing value is all about timing and presentation. And if this horse show demonstrated anything to me personally, it was that while we were definitely still very much in the game (particularly in terms of my abilities and growing influence and recognition as a teacher) I needed more time to get myself put together and properly promote this final small, but potent group of horses, who represent the apex of my breeding program and who I am as a horsewoman.
I also felt, spiritually speaking, I was being gently guided towards a sort of ‘short term stabling for a fortnight'. Horseman will get it … the storm is brewing and the horse has been out in the field in the mix of it. And given a choice that horse will stay outside, gaining a frantic sense of safety from neurotically running around all night. But what they really need is to be put up between four walls and forced to relax, eat some hay, drink some water, take a nap on some comfy bedding and just catch their breath. That was me after Traverse City … which in tone felt a great deal like the life altering event in Viroqua we had just escaped from … intense and not a whole lot of time for the needed quiet pondering of ‘what just happened & why?'
Anyway, one of the artists I became friends with at the show (who sold practically none of her gorgeous paintings; what the heck guys?!, since when did affluent horseman not support other forms of art?) proudly told me Northern Michigan had some of the most beautiful fall foliage in the world, and I was crazy to leave if I wasn’t yet ready to head to Florida.
So, I met a fellow horseman with a small uninhabited farm North of the show and figured I’d give it a try. And I have to admit … she was right. The location I’m sitting in right now is the single most gorgeous fall scenery I have EVER laid my eyes on, and I went to high school in New England (and have been disappointed in my surrounding fall colors ever since leaving). The tourists are thick up here in what feels like the middle of nowhere, but one glance outside and you know why. Who’d of thunk … Northern Michigan? Live and learn.
So now, as I finally begin writing a blog that has been on my mind for over a month, knowing in my gut human society is not close to the same entity it was last month, I understand why. It almost feels shallow to speak of a little event that made quite an impact on me but that most of the world ignores (other than maybe the top ribbons regarding a few key classes). But bear with me; I have plenty to say regarding both the broad and the narrow view of a lone horseman making her way in the world.
Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on your perspective, the little picture is all most of us singularly have the power to influence. And in my humble opinion, when the world is in an understandable uproar over atrocities inflicted upon the innocent, it's the work and focus of our daily lives that keeps the entire wheel spinning as seamlessly as possible. Our day to day survival and focus keeps us grounded; a powerful and key component to any energetic or electrical system.
I do not however agree with the concept claiming it is ALWAYS 'the best of times and the worst of times.’ Yes, life is ongoingly harder for some and easier for others, societies and economies are continuously rising and falling, etc. BUT, the level of innocent blood that was just shed (both directly unprovoked and provoked, though there is certainly an argument for long term provocation to the former) in what amounts to the three major religion’s holy lands; and the amount of converging and sable rattling happening among the key world powers at this moment; is simply unprecedented.
CHAPTER 2 - WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW?
If you are a Christian (as the majority of us in the country claim to be) and have ever read the biblical book of Revelations, you HAVE to want to take pause to assess what the heck is actually happening. Because something big is clearly going down.
I happen to believe it's a demonstration of a concept I have been fairly casually writing about for a while now … sides are being drawn and energies (both light and dark) are converging and preparing for a clash to determine world dominance. And while those words feel quite soft and non threatening, the reality of my full meaning may have just become blatantly apparent to many of us.
If we don’t want the entire world to look the way Gaza and Israel look right now (only far worse) BUSINESS AS USUAL has to move into the realm of the OPEN MINDED AND UNUSUAL. Because our beliefs and what we are currently doing IS NOT FULLY WOKING.
I am of the opinion this unavoidable battle can be energetic or it can be physical. Once it reaches the physical realm we have allowed things to go too far. Those of us not blatantly oppressed, who have the clarity, freedom and the strength to stand up to the dark energy seeking to hold full power over the world (leading first to confusion and then the physical attack that always results as one fully submits to the darkness) are almost obligated to answer that call. Which, believe it or not (I'll explain later), brings me to the sport of equestrian show jumping I have dedicated my life’s work to.
CHAPTER 3 - THE FINAL WEEKS OF THE HORSE SHOW
The Young Jumpers
The Traverse City Show at Flintfields Park, Michigan, was an exciting place to be last month. Especially when you’ve been out of the loop for a while; it's quite an uplifting thrill to watch as many of the top horse people in the world casually land a few feet down the barn aisle from you. Suddenly you are engaging in regularly light conversation with folks who for much of your career you admired from the ground or perhaps the top of a horse … but definitely from the back of the line.
You are chatting away about dogs and horses and saying things like, you look REALLY familiar to me, do I know you? And she’s responding … ‘I’m blank’ … and you are like Oh … you are a hall of famer whose kid just helped produce a silver medal Olympic horse. Duh! Don’t you live in Europe now? 'Oh yeah, but this is my home stomping grounds and we are here for the American Cup.' OK … I love it when that happens, because things just officially got very interesting.
As many folks know, show jumping competition will usually begin heating up for a big event a week or two before it actually begins. The top horses who are about to be pushed to the limit need time to adjust. And as any smart show management knows, there is a momentum one wants to create and build upon to truly make a meal of the entire experience. And this management group fulfilled that task perfectly.
The week prior to the Gold Cup were the young jumpers finals (yep, the same ones I've claimed dominance in as a breeder & trainer in 2012 thru 2014 receiving 1st, 2nd & 3rd in the 5 & 6 year old finals). I'll tell you what though, you don't need to own or ride or have several self bred fully American made horses in it, for it to be exciting.
I had an absolute blast watching these young horses & talented riders fight it out. There are so many unknowns in this event. You truly are relying on sheer talent & heart much of the time (particularly in the 5 and 6 year old classes), which makes it extremely dynamic & exciting to watch.
I’ll just name a few riders here that caught my eye or I’ve known and have been impressed with for a while … or that simply dominated in terms of ribbons in a manner that warrants mentioning. Please however don’t be offended if I don’t mention you and you know you and your horse(s) were out there working miracles. In terms of regular horse showing and that elusive Grand Prix ring, I’ve been out of the loop for a long time guys. So I’m just sort of going with what caught my eye for the sake of interest and discussion.
First and foremost though I’m going to say this. Every aspect of this sport beginning at about 1.20m begins to become almost otherworldly challenging. But when you start talking about 5-8 year olds (babies in the sport of show jumping) and the Grand Prix ring (which are what the young jumpers are designed to develop horses for) it truly is almost surreal. Riding and maintaining a top Grand Prix horse is no easy task, but breeding and developing them, especially consistently and successfully, ventures into the realm of almost impossible.
So watching the top convergence of this developmental process (though obviously it happens all over outside of the young jumper ring; think of moi’s situation for example) unfolding in one place after they have competed all year to qualify, is incredibly interesting. The horses and riders that have made it this far are truly walking the cutting edge.
Most are Grand Prix riders … some being the most accomplished trainers and riders in the world. Some are young up and coming Grand Prix riders and a few I have never seen in the Grand prix ring at all. The point is, riding young horses levels the playing field in a manner upper level competition often can’t. Because these young horses are relying on their riders as much as their riders are relying on them. There is no buying a made 5 year old that has been winning everything for a few years in Europe, who you know there is a good chance will take you to the top.
Their age prohibits that cheat … or smart investment … depending on how you see it. I suppose if everyone wore a sign on top of their head that said ‘I bought this horse winning everything all year in Europe.’ or ‘I bred this horse and made it from scratch,’ or ‘I supported a US breeder and developed it from a yearling,’ etc, I would never feel the need to use the word ‘cheat.’ But, I’m pretty sure most reading this will know my opinion on that matter. If you want to lay claim to and march around as the best, it needs to come from the ground up, not the big checks working their way down.
Anyway, I love the fact that some of the top riders in the world are out there pushing babies around with their up and coming peers. There is a sharing of experience and energy from that combination that accelerates the evolution of individuals and the sport. I know I wouldn't be the same horseman without the influence of a little horse show called Trader’s Point. It drew a small but elite crowd of top horsemen, and the convergence of the power of that event at that time, especially in the Grand Prixs, could be ridden like a wave.
Cradilo and I were strongly influenced by the best in the world every summer at Trader’s … and it made all the difference. That sort of influence seems to be lost in a venue as big as, say, Wellington. It’s just too big to have an intimate impact (on me at least). Fortunately … It seems the sport has found a new slightly bigger (but still small enough) venue to create that potent experience that can transform horsemanship.
Anyway, back to the young jumpers. Talk about some insane, beat that personal ego into submission, control. I’m sorry, but I can’t imagine too many humans on this planet who perhaps may have won two Olympic Gold Medals and two World Cup Championships that would be willing to risk their necks on a never ever at that height ‘because it’s fun’ … as Beezie told me.
That would be like Brett Favre deciding he was going to help create future NFL athletes by attending the weekly High School football games with the players and being IN THE GAME. If they weighed 10 times as much as him. And they could care less about how many games or super bowls he had helped to win. They still might run him down just because they are working on figuring things out, whether or not they are up to the task at hand, and because it’s simply how the sport tends to go with the greenies.
Roberto and Daniel fit into that category as well from my perspective. Alex, Danielle, and Lisa have had an awful lot of success and the Grand Prix ring to be carrying youngsters around out there (down ego, down, which I KNOW those babies are going to help you to master). Charlotte Jacobs and Delaney Flynn caught my eye in terms of damn … I wasn’t aware of those names before today but those girls can seriously ride and find themselves a nice young horse.
Taylor Flury was out there on a pile of youngsters (I think she told me she had eight young jumpers, four of which she owned; ambitious; and received some top ribbons on), Ali Wolf (whose riding impressed me in the Grand prix ring and the young jumpers), Penny Brennen (who I honestly know nothing about, other than she won the 5 and 6 year old division, so hats off) and of course Lisa Goldman. Who has had my attention regarding developing American breds for a very long time, has really good taste in nice A circuit level school horses, and who once again was in top ribbons on a 5 and 6 year old (the six year old on whom she won the five year old finals on last year). What are the odds you’ll be seeing that guy and Lisa in future Grand Prixs?
Anyway, sorry but I can’t comment much on the course designers and Grand Prixs themselves for this second to last week. I didn’t take notes (I had my hands full alone at the show with my own horses, one there and the rest down the road) so I can only comment on what I remember. And given recent world wide events that memory has become even more clouded.
I do however recall thinking the courses were good. Tough enough to be challenging; but I didn’t see anything dangerous or destructive happening out there. I also thought these are much better finals than what we had in Kentucky (sorry horse park, I have to be honest). I LOVE that all the horses are in the Grand Prix ring (the 5 and 6 year olds in Kentucky were in a secondary ring) and I felt there was a level of importance and grandeur surrounding this event that was missing back when we did it.
The Young Jumper Finals at Traverse felt like a serious, important competition, and it is. It represents our future … as horsemen … not just riders. It represents independence … because as we become better and better at developing our own horses, we become stronger and more of a force to be acknowledged and reckoned with internationally.
I do remember one round in the Grand Prix ring that second to last week that grabbed me. Margie had a clean ride on that big chestnut gelding I’ve talked about before, that was reminiscent of the Trader’s rides I used to watch her regularly lay down.
You know, those rides where she pilots the horse around so profoundly and impeccably that your mouth is on the ground and you are left wondering how what you just witnessed is even possible? There is a reason she is legendary and still out there doing it almost 15 years later. I was looking forward to seeing them jump off but for some reason she pulled him from it … a good one no doubt. Hopefully we will all get to see the second verse of that level of horsemanship someday soon here.
CHAPTER 4 - THE AMERICAN GOLD CUP
The final week was all about the Grand Prix ring, and the coveted American Gold Cup title of course. More than just a few of the big names had shown up and it was GAME ON. You could feel the energy that had been building in the air, and these folks were not holding back. Things really began heating up on Friday. From my standpoint as a spectator, maybe a somewhat emotionally vulnerable given what had just transpired in her personal life spectator, it was almost too much.
Things Getting a Little Too Hot in the Kitchen for Amy’s Current State of Mind …
In the first big 6 figure class that week, the $142K 1.50m Classic, the course was so difficult and these riders (and their willing partners) were pushing so hard that I witnessed three crashes. I mean horses and riders picking themselves up off of the ground, and limping out of the ring. And those were the ones that got up immediately.
Friday, a spectacular Grand Prix horse ridden by Axel Enriquez (though admittedly, in my mind, they are all spectacular in their own way), hit the ground with his rider after a bad fence and didn’t immediately get up. His rider was clear of his 1000 plus pounds, thank God, but I watched for minutes as the horse laid there struggling. They brought out the temporary black fence to block the horse off as the vet’s attended, and I was sure they were going to have to put him down. And that was more than I could take.
I had to go sit on the back stairs behind the ring with my dog and just cry. Cry about the beauty of a horse willing to give so much to his rider that he would put himself in a position no wild horse ever would (being laid out on the open ground, fodder for the predators, unable to get up); cry about the heart of these warrior teams who were giving everything they had over and over to demonstrate to the world who they really were; cry about the sacrifices I had made to be there and to continue to own the horses I did, and that my horses had made on some spiritual level to still be there with me. I cried about how hard and brutal it all was, and wondered if maybe it wasn’t just all too much. Maybe the bearers of the comfortable quiet lives had it right?
I mean why were we doing this? What inspired us to push such limits and to ask one of our greatest, most uplifting through the ages partners in nature, the horse, to do the same?
And I cried for the world. Everything I had been holding back, so I could pull it together and fight through the emotional hell of complete and total direct familial betrayal to be there, I finally let go of. Why had the larger world forgotten about honoring everything great and beautiful and innocent and good … for the sake of bowing down to a collectively huge and brutal egotistical civilization … often threatened by and seeking to put down the best and even the most miraculous this world has to offer?
Finally though, I pulled myself together enough to go back under the tents and find out what had happened to Friday. I was scared. I had intimately witnessed a gorgeous Grand Prix stallion being put down 7 years before (as I helped EMT’s fighting to keep a pulled out from underneath him Laura L. alive) in Ocala, and I did not want to see it again. My painter friend told me after about 10 minutes Friday had popped up and walked out of the Grand Prix ring. Thank God! I was so happy and relieved.
I Don’t Like Playing Favorites But …
Amazingly, I also watched in that almost horror film of a scary class what ended up being my favorite ride that week, and you’ll be surprised to know it was a three rail ride. You won’t be surprised to know who rode it … it was Bezzie Madden and her horse Hummer Z.
Now I don’t know anything about this horse, but what I do know is the course challenged that team to the max, and I’d say even had Beezie’s rock solid composure a little agitated (with very good reason). What I also know is she used every aide at her disposal to literally carry that horse around the field. Every move, every touch and every inclination was to create powerful forward balanced motion and to encourage and support his safe, fairly successful negotiation of each fence.
Despite the three rails (which in my opinion is a solid day's work with a horse learning to be a top athlete seeing his toughest course to date) I know he walked out of the ring more confident, and more prepared for whatever was to come next. It was expertise, it was kindness and love, and it was appreciation. Thank you for trying … I know that was hard … good boy … It will be easier next time.
A true horseman and horse trainer … with the accomplishments behind her never requiring that she lift another finger … doing the hardest and most dangerous job there is … gracefully and gently. But giving a nice horse a strong chance of becoming the rarest of all show jumpers, an International Grand Prix horse. True creation, that requires true impeccable understanding and control, but is for the most part expertly coaxed and soothed into place, not hammered.
Thankfully, after that class, the course designers seemed to seriously alter their strategy for the week, the riders calmed down a bit, and from that point forward it was the incredibly challenging but reasonably safe sport we have all come to cherish.
As I said, the competition came out of the woodwork for that last week … and frankly it's just too much to comment on in its entirety. Kent and McClain showing up of course always gets everyone’s attention. What I noticed is the two mares they were riding. Light, athletic, fast, sensitive mares. Cool beans! Now, assuming these girls have the stamina and power for a week long championship, these look like my kind of horses; the kind the US may actually win some GOLD medals on.
And they were both going well … Kent got some consistent top ribbons on his mare and McClain by my eye had distinctly adjusted his style for this lovely creature (with a lighter, softer in the hand, ride). As a general rule of thumb, the more accomplished and established you are, the harder (and rarer) those kinds of adjustments are, so it was nice and hopeful for me to see.
Of course I'd be derelict in my duty if I didn’t write about the winner of the big $600K American Gold Cup class … Karl Cook and CLR (I’m not even going to try to spell his horse’s name out).
I also should mention first the course was fantastic … a true spectator’s Grand Prix. It had a big open water, a huge triple bar, a big triple combination, and some fun new jumps to look at. Finally! … a real Grand Prix the likes of which I was used to riding every year at Trader’s. Where had all of those classes gone? Or maybe Trader’s had been set up to be particularly difficult by a certain someone who knew Cradilo and I were the rookies there? Regardless, it was still a blast (and extremely educational) to be a part of.
Anyway, everything Karl was doing below the shoulder I loved. The reins were a little short for my taste but it worked perfectly for his horse, who happens to have a very upright topline and quite a short neck. Most importantly, you can’t argue with results. First and foremost, it’s the energy and the rapport one has with their horse, and this pair had it in spades. As a matter of fact, the entire vibe at this horse show was incredible.
I felt a wave of fresh, powerful, talented strength and ambition coming up in the form of all of these younger riders, solidified by a foundation of expertise and a calm knowing that I felt quite proud of, as a similarly inclined wiser American horseman. I thought to myself, ‘We are getting better … we are getting there … we are overcoming and stepping out into our own … and it’s real. It’s more earned than bought.’
CHAPTER 5 - THE SEAT AS AN AIDE
As an aside, you know, the more I study Grand Prix riders and the more experience I gain developing my horses (and trust me, starting an INSANELY athletic and sensitive greenie stallion and teaching him to jump around 3’ will sometimes test your riding ability as much as any Grand Prix course) the more I realize how important the use of ALL of the aides is. While in the last blog I had been focusing on rein length (and happy to see a variation succeeding) for this blog I found myself focusing on the seat.
And I’m going to tell you guys what I’ve been noticing over and over for years now. There is barely a good, solid, repeatedly on multiple horses competitive International Grand Prix rider out there, that doesn’t have their tush in the saddle at the base of the fence. Most of the time not only are they connected to the tack through the seat, they are driving a couple strides prior to the jump. And for me there is absolutely no wonder why.
It is beyond me how anyone can ever consistently succeed at this height without a fairly deep ride to the base of the fence. A properly developed and maintained horse will drop it’s hind end and lift it’s back under the pressure of a driving seat supported by the lower leg. This pressure with an elastic but containing lifting hand will compress and lift a horse’s body like a spring. A proper seat offers confidence and connection so that intentions can be felt and understood more immediately, create balance for both the horse and rider, and in my mind is indispensable.
Of course it’s true, an improper seat or an improperly developed and maintained horse will drop their back and hollow to the seat. I suppose if you are worried and want to be sure that this hollowing never happens you can stay out of the tack to the base of the jump (when the horse needs support the most).
But the older and wiser I get, the more I think of the light ride as ultra simple, and something to be reserved for beginners. Because it can be HARD (especially for the inexperienced) to switch gears from being in the tack at the base of the jump to lightly out of the tack in the air, so that the horse has the freedom to really use its back and body during that powerful exerted stretch.
But honestly, more and more I’m at a loss as to the light ride’s true use in the International Grand Prix ring, and particularly in developing open jumpers. I’m beginning to feel that the mass teaching of it to American riders is more about keeping us dependent on other countries than helping us to ride better. (Because I have a hard time believing certain top once influential American trainers don’t know in their gut what I am saying is true, even though they've been often teaching the opposite, for decades on end.)
But I suppose what better way for say our sport’s head trainer of about five decades to collect huge piles of money in commissions on top horses than by never teaching riders how to really develop top show jumpers of their own? If riders want to play the game they have to buy made horses in Europe or elsewhere. And that is not cheap, and it happens to usually require the expertise of a trainer who can tell you which horse to buy (and collect a large percentage on).
I mean, I get that buying a made Grand Prix horse (or something close) is way more of a sure thing, and far less dangerous and time consuming, if you want to be a serious ongoing competitor. But for an entire huge independent country to not be capable statistically of developing their own international Grand Prix horses; that is quite a hindrance, and quite an emotional and financial hit to the aware citizen & the country on the whole, regarding the sport of kings.
Food for thought. Anyway … back to the real world and the big picture … or pretend normal society at least.
CHAPTER 6 - THE CURRENT ISRAEL PALESTINIAN WAR
I hate to say I told you so but …
I believe this war is a warning … it has been allowed to happen so the world can wake up to the potential reality looming at its front door.
Because as all of us who believe in God or spirit or a higher power or the Universe or whatever, have to remember … nothing happens outside of ‘ITS’ will. This absolute HORROR was allowed.
Why was such evil allowed to be unleashed, and so much innocent blood shed and sacrificed for all of us to witness? What is the message? Because I guarantee an event of that magnitude is not meaningless. It has a purpose.
Our global civilized society is in many ways fundamentally unethical. The acquisition of stuff esteems one to the highest level of their respective community regardless of the means by which it was acquired. Our egos are ruling our lives & society. Stability … having the finances & property to be & feel secure & to pursue that which u love … are a beautiful god given right we ALL understandably strive for.
Jesus said I have come that you may have life & have it more abundantly. And I’ll admit as readily as the next spiritual philosopher, desire propels our world (and all of life really) forward. However, once the desire for basic survival has been quelled, the desire to do good has to play into a species that is determined to dominate the planet (in spite of nature’s occasional reminder via the weather of who is actually in charge), or we WILL self implode.
CHAPTER 7 - HELLO MORALITY … IS ANYONE OUT THERE?
So, if you have put aside every honorable selfless inclination you ever had to squash your neighbor or friend or family member to take (more than you have earned or have a right to); or if you have submitted yourself in the form of employment or government or familial or tribal leader to those you know in your heart are best case scenario simply wrong; worst case scenario grossly criminal; then you are collectively energetically holding a gun to our children's heads & ending their future as surely as Hamas.
GREED ABOVE ALL ELSE (IN THE FORM OF POWER & FINANCIAL-PROPERTY GRABS) IS THE FOUNDATIONAL HOME & STOMPING GROUND OF EGO. And we are all collectively riding that horse (each and every one of us possesses an ego we must contend with), bucking & running away with us heading straight for a cliff. And that guy has to be reined in by all of us.
Shooting one horse in the head (in this case Hamas, sorry ponies for the reference) will not energetically stop the herd of billions galloping blindly towards that edge, because each & every one of us must control our own ego-ride. We have to fight the urge to spin out of control, lash out and attack those (often) closest to us, and to put the ambition for control and power over stuff (no matter how well hidden this motive is) above basic human decency.
We each have to begin to deeply understand and know our own energies & inclinations, and subdue those which are not spiritually based. And we need to at least ask for this same work to be done by those closest to us. On some level we need to all become insightful shrinks & leaders, not blind followers.
Our society is so deeply manipulated and confused it is hard at times as a teacher and philosopher to even know where to begin. Love is not revolutionary. Love is natural … for all spiritual beings who find themselves in the right situation. Love is a balm and a bandage … it heals the wounded and the broken.
However, TRUTH IS revolutionary. And truth is a sharp knife that separates the chaff from the grain. Eventually truth heals as well … but not before it cuts away the dead and infected skin that must be removed if we are to be healthy and whole. The energetic battle ahead of us that we have to fight (you can call it psychological, and ego versus soul based; or religious, and evil versus God based) is going to require tough love and a profound drawing of boundaries.
CHAPTER 8 - THE EGO TEMPER TANTRUM
The ego controlled have to be exposed and controlled, if they are not willing to self analyze and work to rein their own dark components in. And it can’t be just the guys running around killing kids. Out of control ego is much more subtle and our civilization is much more deeply and deceivingly infiltrated than that. Our world's current problems are much bigger than a few (or many) aggressive bad guys.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but in regards to the truth, when you tell the ego controlled something they do not want to hear (regardless of whether it is sensible, proven, supported by scientific fact, etc.) they tend to freak out. This full on meltdown (as a manner of maintaining dominance over a situation) is their way of basically saying we will be in charge regardless of what the truth is. We are so strong and have managed to collect-steal so much collective power that we don’t need to care.
We are going to stomp our feet, throw a little temper tantrum and raise so much hell that the calm and sensible among you will HAVE to back down. Well this horse trainer (and I’m pretty sure most mothers) will tell you giving the 2 year old the piece of candy or the horse that just brutally slammed you to the ground a pat is NOT the way to negotiate with out of control ego.
You Hold Your Ground (spiritually speaking, whether you own it or not).
You stay focused on the directional goal via the job at hand, that the wiser element knows needs to happen. Our world is becoming overrun by egos feeling a future of exposure (as their ability to hide and blend in HAS been their greatest strength) and a loss of power at hand, who are reacting with dangerous tantrums. We good guys have allowed these folks to collect too much power. And now we have to stand up to the collective monster we have created &/or allowed, or lose this world to it.
We have to prove and hold to the truth regarding which lead horses are taking us where. (I recommend we begin by taking a hard look at every billionaire on the planet, a few of which I've unfortunately gotten to know quite intimately. I can almost guarantee you're going to find two international old boy billionaire clubs; with one being responsible for 90 percent of the mayhem in the world). Get these guys reined in & exposed, so the entire world herd can begin to turn away from their leadership, and the brink.
& I'm going to reiterate what I've been saying all along again. There are some very prominent US citizens, who are first rate actors (like some of my closest past family members & friends) that I KNOW are on the bad guy billionaire team. We all get fooled sometimes (myself multiple times) … it's particularly enticing when you believe ignoring the signs of less than good intentions directly benefits you.
But eventually that head in the sand miscalculation is going to bite you in the butt (as a tiger does always eventually show its stripes). & looking back, you will wish you had paid better attention rather than being lulled into a false sense of semi-security. There is nothing secure about out of control ego … no matter how pretty a veneer covers that darkness. It is a destructive chaotic force that feeds its never ending hunger for power with fear based manipulation.
CHAPTER 9 - MOST OF US ARE UNDER THE WHIP
Because of the nature of the world we live in right now, almost every single one of us is facing an outside, out of control ego seeking to dominate us. It’s claiming ‘ownership’ over something, and telling you if you don’t do this or do that, all of which will be nearly impossible goals to meet because it’s only ultimate goal is to control you with misery, you are in big trouble. Ego makes up the rules as it goes, and the game is always tilted to benefit IT.
I recommend seeing the bigger picture. Understand every single one of us has a right to stand on the ground we happen to be on and breathe the air we all share; and that your very existence entitles you to inherited respect. The resources of the world have been given to all of us collectively, and no one person or entity gets to claim ownership over these God given necessities. We each have something to give, and we each have the right to take. That balance is as natural as breathing in and out.
We tune in spiritually and define what our greatest gifts to the world are. There should be no man with a whip over our head telling us you must be this and give that … WE define who we are and that which we will give. And if that man does exist … he needs to be pulled off his perch and his whip shoved up his you know what (yes, obnoxious Amy is still here, in spite of the seriousness of the times).
Those of us in balance will carefully decide what we must take to accomplish our goals here. A rampant taking of everything one can get their hands on is not of God, not of goodness, and not long term sustainable. That very prevalent accepted attitude is the very definition of out of control ego.
I’m not saying don’t make money guys. After a lifetime of fighting and struggling and striving, I plan on doing very well in the near up and coming future. But if I make more than I need for my version of a basic good life, it will go back to the whole to help others seeking to do the same thing. Guaranteed.
I will not take and take and take so that I can hold power over those who have not yet reached their goals regarding a ‘good life’. And if your idea of a good life is feeding an addiction or laying around eating chips and watching TV all day … then you have some ego work to do in the form of some demons to overcome. And while you are working on it you can struggle so that ambition and desire can motivate you to become more.
It’s a complicated world … and we are in a complicated mess. But we are also on the verge of an amazing future of beauty and peace the likes of which most of us haven’t even imagined.
CHAPTER 10 - GOD IS A HORSE TRAINER AND THEY ARE REALY GOOD AT IT.
We are in good hands. The ultimate horse trainer, that big guy or gal in the sky (or however you want to see that creative higher power) has a goal and a plan for this world. And it’s not to be wild unruly mustangs. We are meant to be Grand Prix horses; to do and be something truly magnificent and miraculous … that takes the breath of all those who witness it away.
But that’s a hard road. It’s going to require pain and tears and sometimes you are going to witness that beautiful animal, that represents everything you love the most in the world, on the ground thrashing, and be certain that it is dead. It gave all it had to give and did not survive.
But eventually he shook himself off, got up and carried on, and we will too. Because the ultimate horseman is shepherding us all … carefully carrying each and every one of us, with the perfect expert support, yet freedom, collectively to the understanding of the path required to thread us through.
To that next level of evolution. And if we pay attention and listen, we’ll find that its a good one, with lots of yummy feed and comfy shaving and four walls protecting us from all the scary stuff this world has to offer (but also plenty of green pasture or running free in the wild, whichever you prefer:).
CHAPTER 11 - THE VISION
Since this event has sort of redefined my entire life (and is the current pink elephant in the room a large part of me would like to pretend doesn't exist), and because I know there is a decent sized and fairly influential group reading this … I feel it’s important I spend a little time facing my own truth, and continue seeking to explain it from the less traumatized position I’m thankfully finding as the days pass.
I’ve realized what I had was a once in a lifetime genuine spiritual revelation. Spirit came to me (I was not seeking this interaction) & it was like being struck by lightning. I was pulled into an alternative reality as if I were living it in real time.
The power of the vision was highly motivating (which I am definitely still feeling as I write this) … but also at the time extremely disorienting. If you ever find yourself struck by anything with that energetic intensity, I promise you will be temporarily dazed & confused as well.
Because in this other worldly altered state I was inspired to write publicly in all sorts of interesting & random manners, I believe it was divine inspiration meant for folks beyond me. I've been shown those drawn to it will be affected by the information in various ways meant only for them.
Some of it will in time be shown to be true & some will not (It is simply what needed to be heard by me & others to motivate some good guys, & expose other hidden bad guys). That vision was meant to warn & guide … symbolism being used as it has been in inspired writing for milenia to help those deeply yearning for & seeking true understanding.
The main themes were (1) the world is in an unusual (prophesied of for many thousands of years) time of great change requiring elevated awareness if it is to survive; (2) at times as needed spirit will intervene in powerful ways, such as natural disasters, to give the good guys a fair shot at winning & (3) I & many others (some of whom I have & will point out) are here to specifically & directly follow the orders of spirit & ensure we come thru this period with the best our world has to offer intact, & minimal casualties.
Unfortunately, our society has very little comprehension of, or patience for, the intensity of the miracle of direct contact with that which created this world. After 50 plus years on this planet seeking that intimate connection but not really understanding what the reality would entail, believe me when I tell you that experience changes your life & the lives of those that 'get you (& on some level experience it with you') and none of you will ever quite be the same again.
CHAPTER 12 - WHAT I’M DOING HERE ON PLANET EARTH
What I'm here to teach-coach is excellence within one of the most difficult aspects of horsemanship that exists (show jumping) & the discernment of the different energies folks carry so they can truly see who they are giving power to within & without in their life. Also, to encourage change that MAY make their lives more difficult, but gives them an insight and clarity to what is spiritually needed, which leads to more beneficial choices for the whole of this planet (& eventually back to them, for the singularly inclined).
First & foremost, righteousness (doing the right thing & following your heart for the right reasons) requires strength.
Our ego controlled global society for the most part makes success easier & more assured if one simply takes the downhill perfectly paved road of 'tribally doing under others, before they do you under,' & collectively seeking to destroy, remove or conquer anything unlike them. While the pursuit of dreams are held by most as an unobtainable carrot on a string (always just a few feet ahead), in reality we are beaten down & trained to accept mediocrity. We are actually taught a comfortable life that fits in (even if you on some level are a slave to that which you hate) is to be applauded.
CHAPTER 12 - THE SHOW JUMPING WORLD CUP CHAMPIONSHIP IN SAUDI ARABIA (of all places) THIS APRIL OF 2024
Now I’m sure many of you who were planning to qualify for and attend this International Championship (that we just hosted in Omaha, Nebraska) are having second (or third and fourth) thoughts right about now. If I know our International and National equestrian governing bodies, at this very moment they are thinking up other venues and locations to host this event (as far away from the MIddle East as possible) or planning on withdrawing or canceling the event all together.
Well, I’m here to throw in my vote and exclaim DO NOT DO THAT. Very little happens on the global stage by coincidence. Saudi Arabia is the perfect location for one of our sport’s title events next year. The world needs World Cup Championships and the Olympic Games right now, more than ever. Especially in or near the Middle East.
Assuming things go as I have been led to envision, this April the strongest & bravest of US show jumping horseman & their equally capable horses will show up in April (preferably with me in a position of ground support I have more than earned on multiple levels) to demonstrate to this world that goodness & strength & the pursuit of excellence is not deterred by acts & threats of annihilation. Light shines through & life always presses forward.
The competition levels that require a risking of life & limb, particularly while harnessing the power and honesty of nature on a daily basis, will face & cut through whatever darkness is required to demonstrate & stand for who & what we are. And hopefully to inspire others to do the same.
CHAPTER 13 - HOW IT FEELS TO BE IGNORED AND UNRECOGNIZED
This past year I discovered even more intimately and intensely (in spite of 40 years as a financial underdog in the sport of show jumping) what it is to sacrifice for a great creation. To help grow something from youth, and in spite an egotistical lack of acknowledgement while using resources you have provided almost by grace to them, still yourself feeling proud as they succeed.
And even after a complete slight and even alignment with (and control by) the enemy, still coming to their rescue when you know exactly what it is they need to succeed in the face of certain failure, simply because on some level they are your creation. You want to see them reach their fullest potential because 'it is good.'
And your main motivation wasn't recognition … you are just being who you are & it is a natural act of love, beyond anything else. But when those gifts and sacrifices are ignored & ego takes over … running & flaunting the victories as if they were accomplished without the support of an underlying force … it results in a lie & deception that's profoundly disrespectful (& even dangerous). Because of the power it affords ego, & the fact that only when we know we need to seek the light, can we find it. And it just plain SUCKS for that which gave … if I may be so blunt.
Sometimes the only way you recognize his/her power to give life is when he/she allows it to be taken in an attention grabbing manner. I believe every soul's experience in Israel-Platestine's recent War on some level was spiritually agreed to prior to coming to this world. Both sides of this small but holy land sacrificed to WAKE THE WORLD UP.
This planet does NOT belong to humankind. We have not created one drop of sand … nor do any of us REALLY own a single foot of ground. It was ALL created & given by the grace of God.
We've done some good things with what we've been given … the construction of amazing buildings & machines … the ability to travel & communicate across great distances … the means to understand & extend & enhance the life of almost every living biology. I believe spirit is well pleased with much of our accomplishments.
HOWEVER, none of it would have happened without the proper beginning & the ongoing never ending support of a higher power. And when our egos begin to consistently ignore that fact, to the point that we can no longer even hear our own inner voices and higher souls, we've grown a little too dangerously big for our britches, & something needs to be done. Enter MAJOR reality check … you guys are not even close to having it all figured out.
CHAPTER 14 - AN EASY, OBVIOUS SOLUTION TO THE WAR
Let's start with this blade of truth. How simple would it be for our own governments to begin to develop a little ego control themselves, by demonstrating how quickly this conflict could be ended if the good guys would actually work together to create a win-win?
Rather than invading Gaza, why don't you swallow your hatred (as a chosen people of God might be expected to), open a border, & allow the civilian Palestinians thru to be cared for? I'm sure you have a pretty good idea of the difference between a Hamas soldier & a family. And I'm sure the Palestinian civilians who are just trying to survive will put aside their hatred to walk through a safe corridor with any form of refuge and kindness on the back side. Then we can start to separate the innocent from the guilty while minimizing bloodshed. & what will be left behind is Hamas. Then an invasion by those with the most obvious warranted cause and motivation to eradicate this threat to all of world peace will be justifiable.
Countries of the world … can you really not handle what by my estimation is about 5 millionish displaced Palestinian civilians? Take these people in … help them … show them kindness. Yes, they allowed a corrupt blood thirsty government to run them … but for the disenfranchised & disempowered that's not such an easy problem to remedy alone.
They've been to hell & back. Share your God given (& still God owned btw) resources. For once demonstrate to your creator you have the right to continue governing (& maybe there will be a few less future earthquakes, draughts & hurricanes as our mother grows more and more determined to remove you from this planet.)
And since the Middle East can't seem to figure it out (no offense guys, the truth hurts) let's do what the West did for the Jews & give the Palestinians a state of their own, minus the terrorist organization & the rubble. Let's globally get rid of the obvious bad guys in Gaza, create a landscape folks actually want to inhabit, & give these people the ability to truly freely & democratically run their own government & country (as all of us in the know &/or not born into great wealth & status yearn for).
For those Palestinians that want to come back, they can be highly yet fairly vetted, regarding any violent terrorist inclinations. If murdering or blowing up children strikes you as an acceptable solution to your political problems and ambitions, you don’t get to EVER come back (or exist on this planet at all if most of the sane inhabitants have anything to say about it.)
How hard is that? & I'm not even a PhD! I’m just a horse trainer with an engineering degree & a common horse sense take on how to rather simply engineer a solution to a problem that's been plaguing one of this world's most highly esteemed holy lands for a long time. All we have to do is put our egos aside, love & empathize with our common man regardless of race & culture, & do the right thing to the extent we are capable of. If you can’t hunt or kill animals, don’t eat meat; and if you have a hard time executing horrendous evil demon possessed greedy (as it turns out, there's a surprise) bad guys, don’t join the Israeli Army anytime soon.
How do you think your creator would feel about that? I bet if you gave him a choice between a pile of churches or synagogues or mosque’s visited every once in a while (preaching love and peace non threateningly to ego’s power, without actually solving any real problems); or a solution that would prevent the mutilation and murder of one more single innocent child regardless of race (much less hundreds or thousands of them), he would be willing to forgo every religion & temple of worship on the planet.
I mean come on … are you good guys or egomaniacs pretending? It's time we begin to find out … because the clock is ticking for those sitting on the fence and quietly and comfortably pondering as all of this is unfolding right beneath their very noses.
In Conclusion
Regardless of recent & ongoing power grabs, this world is not going to be ruled by evil (spirit will allow it to self implode before it lets that happen).
Out of control human ego is a destructive force, not a creative one. And as long as we have the understanding to genuinely discern the good light energies from the bad dark energies (the ultimate challenge) & fearlessly stand true to who & what we genuinely spiritually are, we will globally put an end to the escalating mayhem.
And finally, with spiritually led focus, we will create a world in which ALL of God's children have the opportunity to feel and be safe.
September 2023 Blog; 'Greater Lakes Equestrian Festival Tournament of Champions in Traverse City, MI - Week 1'
Chapter 1
THE HORSE SHOW
Well … we made it & this is definitely not the same Flintfields Horse Park Cradilo & I competed at 10 plus years ago. The grand prix ring is in the same basic spot (though I believe its turned 180 degrees now, or doubled in size) but beyond that this is a whole new facility. I’ll tell you what … it is absolutely gorgeous. Probably the nicest horse show grounds I've ever seen.
I’d say other than Kentucky horse park’s stadium & their piles of permanent stalls & turnout (granted no small things), they may even have Lexington beat. Its a big show … with 8 possible competition rings & at least 10 stall tents plus Fei stabling. But it's laid out in a manner that feels cozy (without being crowded). I can easily walk the grounds (in part because stabling management was kind enough to put me close to the rings; thanks guys!) which I do sooo appreciate.
The grand prix ring is absolutely decked out to the nine. The spectator area (non & VIP) is fully covered & running the full length of two sides with live flowers everywhere; a bar (even a pool table) & great furniture scattered throughout. I actually fell asleep watching the ring yesterday on an outdoor couch lounger full of cushions. It's simply a very smart, thoughtful & elegantly designed facility.
My favorite part is the plethora of schooling rings … by far the most I have ever seen at any show. Big, beautiful, manicured, interesting rings (one with a full course of schooling jumps) scattered all over throughout the horse show. I suppose some of them are show rings during bigger weeks; but it's fantastic that they are all open & available for use. I feel like I went on a trail ride today (which is nice if you get ring sour like I do); but really I just went around the horse show playing find all the rings if you can.
Of course sadly, no one is perfect. & since I believe part of the reason this blog has become popular is my determination to throw favoritism & politics to the wind & speak the unbridled truth, I’m afraid I can't give management an A+ on everything so far.
I was a little annoyed at the beginning of the week as naturally I came in late-ish Tuesday (though it was still daylight & I had plenty of time to ride so early for me) & apparently the jumper show ring closes at 4pm for schooling.
However, the program states all rings but the international grand prix ring will be open to ride in up to a half an hour before the show starts. So I thought no worries on arriving Tuesday evening. I’ll just get up before daylight tomorrow & show Nia the ring then. (And by the way, announcers, its Nia Ace as in Niall, not Neal. Or as in Nia and Ia were here. You rarely got her Dad's name right, and I'm going to get something out of this blog damn it! Thanks!)
So I’m on the horse at the ring an hour before the classes start & guess what? … it's still closed. Hmmm … I don't get to show her the ring at all (other than sneaking a single walk around before they could throw us out) … that kind of sucks & is going to seriously test my sensitive greenish mare’s courage.
After a little digging I discover THE NON GRAND PRIX JUMPER RING IS OPEN ON TUESDAY FROM 8-4 (ONLY). If you have a green jumper & you prefer to not risk humiliating yourself all week, get your butt in there early on pre horse show day.
Ah whatever; it wouldn't be a top horse show without logistical challenges (that have the potential to land you in the hospital) … especially if you are a newcomer to that venue.
Welcome to one of the toughest sports on the planet. As I’ve learned the very hard way it's not just the horses you have keep a close eye on. When it comes to show ring access sometimes I wonder why I even bother reading the the programs (& that goes for many if not most of the shows I've been to, not just this one).
Chapter 2
COURSE DESIGNING
Fortunately, the courses in the Polk arena that I rode in by Tommy Brawley (FEI level 2) …. were well designed. (You will never read a horse show blog by me that doesn't involve this fundamental & what I find to be most interesting topic). Don't get me wrong … they were always challenging as you would expect if the words FEI are on the program or the course designers name.
A one stride triple (both strides long) combo on day two in the secondary jumper ring tells you this guy is not playing around. If they had not consistently pulled some of those combos out for the lower classes I'd be scratching the idea of possibly bringing a never ever rated showing stallion. But the course on Saturday was a blast … one of those rare interesting designs that you look forward to riding (especially if you are selling) because you know if you can handle it, it's going to seriously show off the talent of your horse and their ability; with many long gallops & turns back to technical jumps.
And although I didn't get to watch the grand prix ring nearly as much as I wanted to (as my mare was asking for & needing a lot of singular attention) the courses looked solid. I'm guessing most would say they were just about the right level of difficulty for the first of three weeks of FEI level competition. I'm sure they’ll be getting harder; cause if you start out at Mach 10 there is nothing to build up to.
Chapter 3
RIDING
Of course I watched Sunday's Grand Prix from start to finish. For me, rather than witnessing a battle between horse & rider I saw a battle between styles; which I have given a great deal of thought to in recent months.
I noticed several of the riders were using a distinctly longer rein & a deeper, more driving ride (upper body leaning back at the base of the jump, seat in the saddle more, stronger contact, etc). I also noticed this style hands down won (top three placings). Sam parrot (who won this class & I believe the other two FEIs), Francisco Mollett, and Ali Wolf rode with a distinctly longer rein. & even Margie (Engle) had quite a long rein & was back on that handsome flashy chestnut of hers; whose coloring & markings I happen to love:); though I'm not sure if she has much of a choice on that big boy.
But that’s been my ongoing point. Having the versatility to give your horse whatever ride it not only needs, but that makes it happy. Because happy horses jump well & do it for a long time.
Which is the reason you see some really smart trainer-riders doing whatever it takes to keep their horses happy. Because while it takes years & years & years to make a top show jumper (if you are lucky), they can be completely undone in the blink of an eye. So if you’ve already had a couple of rails & find a bad distance to a tough triple at the end of the course (like Jonathan M. did) to me pulling up is every bit as much a sign of horsemanship as winning the class. Or if like Chris E., your horse has a rail at the second jump & you felt something that seriously concerns you because you know how your horse feels when they are good, stopping and putting your horse before ambition or ego is the ultimate sign of horsemanship. Ego control that preserves the horses that are giving us everything has to be as important as winning. & when I see those decisions regularly made at the highest level I'm reminded of why I'm sitting there spectating & spending hours writing about it when I should probably be sitting on a horse.
If I show up with Junior this week (my top horse, who has been jumping great at the farm but again has had a rough summer & has only been in real work for a month) & I decide he can be pushed a little for a bigger class possibly even in the grand prix ring; if I feel anything off (rail or bad distance or not) I guarantee I'll be pulling up instantly.
& I could care less about anyone's opinion on the matter. Which has gotten me in trouble in the past with clients & potential buyers (& I know there are many pros who have experienced the same thing) but it is our job to educate folks on the fact that these animals are not machines. They must come first, before prizes & dollars.
Anyway, back to the grand prix.
I also saw some good, what I'm assuming to be up & coming riders really helping their horses at the base of the jump with seat, body weight & a strong connection, but creating a fight by riding in this deeper style with an ultra short rein.
Which makes it much more likely that when the horse comes up it will hollow rather than lift thru the back. If they would give their frame a little relief & breathing room with even a slightly longer rein all that drive & lift could stay elastic & connected as they come up more naturally & correctly from underneath. Rather than risking locking or hollowing their back & (in terms of connection) & breaking them in half by pulling straight up (which the shorter rein demands) while forcing them into an ultra short & thus tight, unforgiving (which mean inelastic) frame. & the hotter blooded the horse, the less tolerant they tend to be of this.
I know we are ALL taught we have to lift that front end (& a short often rein does often encourages that.) When I would ride Momma/Deluca in big classes I would shorten my rein as much as I could & stand & get as light in the saddle as possible, because she was so much lighter than her sire (who trained me to be a deep connected grand prix rider). So I do get it.
As well being lovely to watch, there are many benefits to a short rein & a light ride (as was demonstrated beautifully by more than one team's effortless bouncing over the jumps first round). But there are also a pile of benefits to the other style (like the longer rein giving the horse the freedom to really use their necks & thus bodies in the air).
I'm just trying to open folks up to the idea of using what's become more my style over the years (1) so that I'm not at times wrongly judged so harshly as I have been and (2) because I KNOW the stronger ride can help us win medals, especially when the horses need a little extra help.
Chapter 4
NOT LUCK
Which brings me to another point.
I know the recent coaching scenario can be hard to fathom to the point of being somewhat surreal; but it's 100% the truth. without Amy inserting herself, that recent US bronze world cup championship medal does not happen. Period end of story.
& its not luck guys … i know what i'm doing (when it comes to horses & show jumping at least:). i'm not going to repeat myself here again but if u look at the front page of my website … thats a string of events that makes it hard to deny ability (particularly in terms of producing young jumpers).
Being at the top of national or international standings requires opportunity … & the same way top horses are missed, not every solid or even exceptional horseman has traditionally been granted those opportunities in our sport. I sold a horse in 2011 (funnily with the same trainer who allowed me to be here) … & jumped on the opportunity to promote my two 5 year old mares.
Which led to a three year 1st, 2nd & third streak in the midwest young jumper championships (with two i bred, one of which i trained & rode) & being in the top 10 of those national standings. That opportunity simply has not been there in regards to the grand prix ring. For me being in the grand prix ring at all required some serious horsemanship because I had to work with what I had. Which means I learned to ride the horses in the way that worked for them (because finding a horse that worked with how I rode when I started was not an option).
And George desperately trying to keep me away & my horses down (to the point that everyone remotely astute is figuring it out) in part by proclaiming we suck (even though he has been saying that forever) is simply demonstrating the opposite is true.
Chapter 5
LETTING ONE GO
Speaking of which; I've got a mare here that im trying to show you guys & find a solid home for that im CONVINCED is a future competitive grand prix horse. like I know given the chance i could have her there in a year. im not looking to sell my worst horse … im selling what im convinced is (all things considered like soundness, temperament, & the same qualities all my mares have had) the best overall mare I’ve bred … & all my mares have been great in their own proven manner.
& by the way, Nia Ace performed amazingly this past week. For a horse that's seen less than two handfuls of any horse show her entire life & has been in serious work less than a month this year, she really killed it. i was hoping for some decent rounds … i was not expecting to
be competitive. So check out the results & video that will be on facebook if she looks like something you may be interested in.
9
My gelding you’ll see next week is also available for purchase (for the firm time since he was a young jumper). He is rock solid up to 1.30m (& we’ve had a couple 1 rail 1.40m small prixs) & i'm convinced he could be in the grand prix ring within months in the right situation. This one likes a deep ride, but if you learn to ride him you’ll know how to help any horse that needs it … & how to do it well. In other words you will be a strong, effective rider.
Like ive done so many times in the past; im trying to set the right person willing to have a little vision & put the work in up for some serious success (& accomplishment in terms of producing american breds).
This line is PROVEN & the horseman that created it is telling you these guys are the best of it, and i AM going to let one of them go.
In spite of their age (12 & 14 years, mare & gelding respectively) both are low mileage in the show ring. The Irish horses are known for being slow growing & at their best as teenagers (Flexible winning the World Cup at 16 years).
I got my hands on their sire Cradilo as a 13 year old. He saw his first rated show in January of his 14 year old year & was in the grand prix ring by late that summer. (basically from scratch in terms of show jumping; a few weeks with me as a four year old learning to jump & a month or two with kevin B. a few years later … that's it) & he lasted with a green rookie grand prix rider there for 5 years. It was borderline miraculous.
I've thought alot about why this happened with Cradilo & I’m convinced part of the reason was because of his maturity. Not every horse is ready to take on the world as a baby. Show jumping at the top pushes them physically, mentally & emotionally.
Horses, like people, often wise up & focus as the years go by. They become more self aware & self contained … they know who they are & if they have received some consistent solid training here & there they are often more confident & settled in their body. This sport’s tendency to want to overlook age is a mistake in my opinion.
in terms of what cradilo & i produced, If you are at the top of the five & six year olds yjc three years in a row (where were the US breeder awards back in 2012-2014?!) you have a cross that is seriously working for producing open jumpers. & it was not hard for fatima & chanel … they made it look easy (who nia & junior are anywhere from half to full siblings to … & then of course there is their other half sister Momma who ultimately just helped us win a medal).
In terms of the young jumpers (which i absolutely love watching when i can by the way) for that age to jump that big & technical in huge venues at the crazy speed required to be in the top ribbons of that division requires sheer talent & heart. Because they are too young to be properly developed (which takes years). So to even be there getting around you have to be sitting on a naturally potentially great horse & be quite a sophisticated trainer & rider yourself (because there is very little room for error).
The point is depending on the breed & horse, the young jumper division may not be the best thing in the world for long term soundness, but it is definitely a serious test & measurement of a breeding program's ability to produce top open show jumpers. If they are succeeding around the courses & especially if they are in the top ribbons; they are INCREDIBLY naturally talented. They have powerful scope, speed, a desire to leave the rails up & bravery … all built right in.
Chapter 6
ANYWAY, WHAT I'M HOPING FOR NOW
What I want first & foremost is what I've always wanted. in spite of the unusual path that ultimately brought me here (which has simply given me another VALID perspective); i want to b understood (or at the very least acknowledged) as an upper level pro who clearly has produced multiple great horses, & has developed a breeding line of jumpers that works extremely well. & then simply to enjoy, enhance & preserve the sport like anyone else who appreciates the power & beauty of connecting this intensely (as is required by jumping) with a horse.
Because this is not just a playground for the privileged few. It's too hard & dangerous to be just that. There's more happening here … this sport has a purpose in this world. Its the reason we are all called to it so strongly (you don't see too many good kind of in or kind of out open jumper riders).
The darkness our sport has been under the thumb of (no matter how nicely its been disguised or what resources have been behind it) has rattled a whole lot of folks … the entire industry really in my opinion.
But it's over … in part because i have a blog folks are reading & most are hopefully enjoying. & because i'm obviously not afraid to call out the b.s. that contradicts the code of conduct USEF been at least TRYING to put forward & encourage.
& there are others at the top of this sport who feel the same way i do … thank god. Because my horses & i can not do this alone. So let's learn from the past, clean things up, & bring the honor back (which top horsemen are SUPPOSE to embody anyway).
Traditionally, for thousands of years we were the elite warriors. I believe part of the reason we do this (striding on to the battlefield of a tough course & galloping up to danger in the form of a ginormous fence, on our trusted equally brave partner) is to preserve & keep alive that history. The history of being true & courageous enough to take on bad guys from the top of a horse.
Forever in society it was 'Don't tread on me’; or we’ll bring out the heavy ammunition … the horseman. Because they are our best team fighters. The knights of old; the horsemen the kings relied on to do the heavy lifting that would save the kingdom were not traditionally the peasants; they were the wealthy AND the strong. Occasionally an average citizen like me would come along, knock everyone socks off (perhaps win & or survive an epic battle or two) & be knighted; but that was rare.
However the story of king arthur & the knights of the round table wouldn't be a very admired one if they were using their power to hurt & keep down the good guys. without honesty & honor for the animals & their people (you need both or the animals will be collateral damage) we are just another primitive gang of thugs; & no amount of money or physical elegance changes that simple fact. And in our current world there is nothing particularly special or exceptional about that.
But if we can work towards making this industry good on every level, both seen & unseen (as in we love & care beautifully for our horses, we accomplish amazing things with them, AND we are fair & honest with each other so that the entire experience builds & enhances the lives of those not wreaking havoc); then this sport is a beacon of light & it will influence the world for the better. & in short order it will be even more enjoyable to participate in, I promise. As naive as it may sound to some, I truly believe that is the reason we are all here.
As I love this work & these competitions we do, I care about the industry's future. I don't want to see it torn apart the way my family has irreparably been (granted if it had been on firmer ground it wouldn't have happened) over a battle that should have been done & put behind us long ago.
So I'm not going to hold on to grudges or fears regarding who is potentially working against who in what way, or who did in the past. i am well aware of the very real danger of incurring the wrath of george; & the value of staying on his good side. So I understand the position many pros have been in. & if i've ridden under you or you've helped me at some point in the sport im even more forgetful of some of the crap that has been happening & surrounding this situation.
But, that doesn't mean i wont call you oout publicly so this sport can become a little more transparent & honest in the manner top sportsman & horseman (those partnering with an animal that only communicates honestly) should be.
Chapter 7
BEING BACK
So being back has made quite an impact. Thank god for Mondays because I needed a minute to absorb it all. For a while there i was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to see an FEI level horse show in person again. I was even feeling kind of emotional at the opening American Anthem for the Grand Prix & i'm pretty sure thats the first time i've ever been brought to tears just being at & spectating an event.
I realized last week looking back on the past five years (that I've basically been away) what the blog has meant to me. It hasn’t just been about trying to explain our situation & exposing the illegal injustice of it all; but its been about staying connected in whatever way I could. By sharing what I've learned … & using the humor i've been clinging to my entire life to ultimately survive it all.
This show though has been a breath of fresh air on many levels. So far i've felt welcomed & well cared for & there really has been no ‘hating’ that i'm aware of or care about at least. I took a gamble coming up here (when there were a myriad of other options) but it felt like the direction my inner compass was guiding me to & thankfully im beginning to feel the rightness of the move.
New Blog (August 2023); 'We are still alive … just in case you were wondering. Here’s broadly what’s up and what’s next … '
George Morris (after hundreds of pages of online defamation that links back directly to him thru past clients & their and his attorneys), completely freaked my family out & influenced them to make some highly abusive, ungrateful, uncaring decisions that ultimately led to me not emotionally holding up. Finally, after decades of George’s public false character assisination & constant manipulation of my career & the ending of multiple beneficial relationships in all sorts of creative ways; when he reached right into my backyard & fully bought the little county of Vernon I lived in for 20 years in terms of judges & DAs & whatever else his hidden money & influence trickled down to, he found the straw that broke the camel’s back.
And if the US justice system does it, it must be right … so almost everyone else followed suit with the deceit based local witch hunt. Which ultimately led to my animals being severely neglected-borderline abused. And me & a close recently renewed long time friend (just retired from the military) convinced, enough to take quick action, that they were trying to lock me up. Which they accomplished for two weeks; almost six months (if a George bribed doctor no doubt hadn’t been caught red handed by me, nurses, my attorney & the out of county judge); falsifying a medical evaluation regarding me that never happened; so they could also steal & or destroy my horses.
Thankfully, a few good friends & solid horseman helped to get all of us out of there asap, by engaging in the easiest & kindest sale I’ve ever experienced. Plus giving this granted lovely versatile treasured horse, but sort of the polar opposite of sale ready, a great home. (And
if you have spent more than 3 seconds on the US grand circuit & have ever stuck around for the winners circle you know the names Lisa & Mary, who purchased him). If not for them this story would have a much different ending. Which was the exact goal of the escalating (in exact response to the growing proof of what my horses and I are capable of) egomaniacal evil we have been forced to deal with for decades; no doubt.
But, as it turns out, I do have real & powerful friends myself. Which makes me kind of hard to snuff out … even with unlimited resources & a society many have bought into that appears at times to ethically be completely for sale (regardless of right or wrong) at every turn. And if our sport does anything (beyond being incredibly challenging & at times frustrating) … it demands & hones strength … emotional as well as physical.
Anyway, the moral of the story I’m presenting here is, if you are lying, or accusing the innocent of things THEY DID NOT DO, you are obviously under the influence (of ego, & not the good kind). And if you are using your societal status (property, age, career, familial relation, etc) to convince others these lies are true, you are operating at an even higher level of manipulation & deceit.
If you are encouraging & enjoying genuine innocent horsemans abuse, then you are encouraging the horses in their charge’s abuse (all their animals really) & you are not fit to be called a horseman (or an animal lover of any kind really). Horsemanship without ethics is a carnival ride for the ego … there is no real pursuit of excellence in feeding corruption. It's simply putting on an image and a front that is not real … no different than wearing a mask.
So we have groups of people aligning & working together to protect their unethical immoral decisions & reputations (& justifying their WRONG behavior in any way they can) & the darkness just deepens & grows.
The problem with being influenced by out of control ego is often those under its strongest grip aren’t even aware of how disconnected they are, or what it is that is actually running their decisions & lives. They surround themselves with beauty & what appears to be stable productive societally accepted life & everyone (including themselves) assumes they must be on a good path.
Only the full truth … which we will ALL eventually come to … heals & frees from the pain this scenario creates, & the damage to the innocent it inflicts. If you find yourself afraid of that bright light of the truth … it SHOULD be pretty obvious which team you're playing for.
If you know you’ve been lying & inflicting & supporting damage & you are not afraid of that truth, you are operating at an even higher level of arrogance, that has blinded you to reality. You are like a little kid who has been getting away with stealing $ out of their parents cookie jar, & thinking they're rich as a result. The higher unseen powers that be know … they are just waiting & watching to see what you are all about when you think no one is aware.
At any rate, it doesn't (or shouldn't) take a group or a major investigation to pull back the cover over this carefully crafted charade. But ego is so deeply embedded in our society; damaging misinformation & manipulation of truths is such a common & accepted method of operation; that many can't seem to (or dont want to) see thru the murky fog to the reality of the situation.
The TRUTH (& those not afraid to speak & live it) is the single most threatening thing that exists to those gripped & living by ego. Just sitting quietly & accepting falsely based attacks is exactly what this group wants. We (ego) will speak (& say whatever falsehoods we want) … & you wont (sound familiar?; have you ever been in a courtroom falsely accused?).
It is the ultimate form of dominance. & if you accept it because you don't want the fight or are afraid of your reputation being smeared (or even worse) you are helping to put darkness in charge. This world was created by the light from truth. Like the sun, the light will sustain it. Too much darkness & eventually everything withers away & dies. It's just common sense guys … observe & get to know nature in a real way. Egos method of management, no matter how well hidden, is not sustainable.
Piles of people have had the wool pulled over their eyes. They think because they are comfortable, they are safe. This world is wounded … & only exposure & light will heal it. And if we don't start to scrub & expose that wound now, we're going to discover our world (like I just discovered about my corrupt little past home) is so infected we have to amputate to save it … if it's salvageable.
All is not well here on planet earth (most are not living anything close to heaven on earth). We can make it well … but ego will not like what it's going to take, & like my animals & I, everyone connected will have to get their hands dirty & take risks & on some level fight back.
Anyway, as I've said before, we are in a time when sides are being drawn. My life right now is demonstrating how to recognize those sides at a very deep & intimate level & to drop bad guys (& those presenting themselves in undeniable ways as bad guys) like a bad habit. Jesus said (in multiple places) I have come to bring a sword (not peace) & to divide families. That means simply aligning with the light of the truth & the creative source of life is more important than ANY HUMAN RELATIONSHIP.
So thanks to the major curve ball thrown our way & what our summer has looked like, for me to continue to put my truth out there, this blog has had to be a little heavy. Hopefully, after the next three weeks at the Traverse City Tournament of Champions show, I'll be inspired to get back to my comically insightful horse show coverage many of you seem to enjoy reading (or at least feel you have to read to be on the cutting edge:). I would certainly be surprised if I wasn't inspired.
So, the folks in horse show land will be seeing my horses & I again soon. I’m going to pre warn you though … we have just come thru hell … every one of us together … & we're still sort of licking our wounds as we're trying to pull it together (& if you doubt the stress my horses have undergone as well just observe some of their tails & necks. Last year & their entire life all have had cresty necks & most full tails … & this year poof … a few months of stressful what’s happening to us hell, & where did they go?)
Anyway, there will definitely be no 1.30m classes this time around (George, mission accomplished again; you can relax for now) but from my perspective just us showing up at all, for a few competitive weeks I’ve been wanting to catch for a while now, is nothing short of a minor miracle.
However, we are not coming for our health. I’ll be pushing a sale horse and riding my tail off to demonstrate her as nicely as possible, all things considered. I’ll also be available for a little coaching in exchange for some ringside help or payment (who here likes winning International medals?, and learning from a breeder-trainer-Grand Prix rider whose multiple young jumpers have won everything and whose horses have influenced some of the top riders in the world?); and I’ll be watching a lot of classes as I have time. It has been almost a year again since I’ve been to a horse show (though I certainly may as well have been at a few big show days this Spring.)
Anyway, maybe (depending on how things go) I’ll finally bring forward an exciting Flexible-Cradilo stallion you guys have yet to meet. Losing care of my horses for close to six weeks; not to a good home & the income required to support a professional and their animals to pursue this; but to darkness, was the single most disempowering situation I have ever found myself in.
And this stallion in particular, like me, took quite an identity hit when Mom disappeared (for the first time ever in his life); and there were no deeply caring horseman anywhere to be seen. Just sort of a haphazardly thrown together I guess we’ll see if we can maybe keep the animals alive just barely while the powers that be (who obviously could pretty much care less) torture the owner to keep George happy and his checks flowing. Thankfully, like all the Irish stallions I’ve known … Flash is demonstrating the heart, will and resilience to eventually overcome whatever can be thrown at him. But it's definitely taking a minute and a whole lot of reassurance that all is well.
So it’s life in a human world that hasn’t yet figured itself out … you get hit (under the belt) … pivot … regroup & here we go again. You either bounce back stronger or fade away. The second alternative feels to me like losing to a side anyone with half a concept of long term preservation knows we ultimately really do not want running things (no matter how powerful, tenacious & convincing they can be). Sometimes in this game just showing up to play or to be a part of it at any level is a win.
And once again … in their own way the horses & the horseman that truly know & honor them save us. Helping us to demonstrate clearly, repeatedly over time, the undeniable truth of who we are (like it or not). And then there are the folks that seem to like to use the power of that truth & clarity when it’s needed to get things done, & then throw it away & pretend as if they never benefited from it. But every single one of us eventually always comes back around to facing the reality of what’s up.
True top horsemanship just brings us there a little faster. So saddle up guys … no one gets here without some form of sacrifice. Let’s enjoy the experience (I know I will) & see what truths life has to teach us from the top of a horse (@ the top of a jump) this time around!:)
July 2023; The Back but not the same blog ...
The Journey to becoming an Equestrian Shaman
Hey guys …
So I know there are a lot of questions no doubt circling around me and my horses right now. First, I want to apologize … for any posts or text or comments you may have seen or received that may have concerned you. If I had been given the opportunity, I would have explained everything online within about 3 days.
But, as I’ve said before, I believe this world is engaged in energetic and spiritual warfare, and things are climaxing a bit. Good guys that are making noise and creating change, especially without the right kind of support, are a target. Frankly it has been that way for thousands of years. But in this modern age, it is kind of hard for me to even wrap my mind around the level of an almost total squashing of my rights by the U.S. Government I have been subjected to over the past couple of weeks.
But, when the local government is for sale, and you have a few powerful billionaires wanting to end you and steal all that’s yours, then I guess my resultant situation should not be that big of a surprise. These guys trying to run me over under the guise of the law is not shocking … it’s how easily they are actually accomplishing and getting away with it that’s surprising the heck out of me.
VISION QUEST
If you were to call me religious (I prefer the term spiritual) you could say I am both a Christian and a Nature Spiritualist. We all know what Christianity is, supposedly. Native people’s spirituality is older than Christianity. It is based on healing and God seeking practices that are very intimately tied with mother earth and nature. And the particular shaman I studied under, Bill Humphrey, also often included the Light of Christ into his healing practices. Shaman’s practice soul retrieval, journeying, energy work for healing (including Chakra work) and a great deal of various styles of meditation. A guided vision quest is the ultimate graduate ceremony for a shaman in training. I was encouraged multiple times to participate in one, but the thought of days in the woods with very little to no food, sleep or water was not appealing so I declined.
Anyway, about two and a half weeks ago I was plugging along living my normal life of chores, part time work and riding/training when I was very suddenly hit, like a bolt of lightning, by an unasked or prepared for Native American Style VISION QUEST.
During a healing session with Bill, as he was trying to help me find ways to cope with Niall’s sudden death, he returned from a journey and told me I was an individual with one foot in both worlds. I remember being confused by the statement and assuming he meant praying or talking to spirit was a little easier for me, or perhaps my head was in the clouds a bit more. I now believe it means I can literally see normal life and an alternate reality at the same time, because I experienced it during the vision quest.
So for days I barely ate or slept or drank, though I did keep my animals close and take care of them non stop (as I have to believe they were what was grounding me to the real world, partially at least); as I felt immersed in an alternate apocalyptic reality with me as the central figure. I posted and commented and texted as I felt I was being told by spirit to do. And I was 100% clear on my normal animal care routine, but it was like there was this other world and series of events pressing down on and overlaying my normal life.
I have a sense of some of what I said and wrote … and I suppose I could check it out now but I really don’t want to go there quite yet (we’ll save that for a future blog perhaps). Most of it I don’t remember … and honestly guys … it was like I was visiting another universe (Dr. Strange style).
Psychiatrists say nervous breakdowns can be described as the mind undergoing something similar to a circuit overload (too much electrical input … initiate shutdown!) Our minds, like any physical machine, can only handle so much stress and electrical input. And I’m (just barely) here to tell you, seeing an apocalyptic alternate reality comes with an energetic punch. I was definitely a tad disoriented and as Dr. Olson (my new favorite psychiatrist) likes to say … ‘we call that delusional Amy.’ Two weeks in a psych ward and a daily doctor visit comes with its perks … you definitely learn a new thing or two about yourself.
You know, just in the less than 24 hours I’ve been a free woman and talking to a couple of friends, I’m surprised to discover many people have a story similar to mine (though its not something any of us really want to talk about.) Mental health issues are kind of par for the course in our society it turns out. I managed to go 53 years without letting one push me over the edge (and I’m hoping to go another 53 years). And I just can’t help but feel it isn’t a coincidence considering the ‘Conspiracy Theory’ blog I recently wrote. Whether its George and friends (my first gut … though I’ll let you be the judge after you’ve heard the entire story) or the universe, it’s awfully coincidental a few weeks after I write that I’ve never had a problem … boom … I have a problem.
Anyway, you guys received one apology, but beyond that I’m not going to be held responsible for a few words you may have received or read. You can blame God … he is the one who shot the bolt of lightening straight to my head and he was the guidance and the voice I was listening to. I’m sure there is a reason he wanted that particular story put out in that jolting and attention getting manner. I’m not sure what it is. But like we’ve all heard so many times before ‘Don’t kill (or lock up and attempt to destroy the entire life of) the messenger.’ Especially before you fully understand the message.
The way I see it (and as I hear it from spirit) I am now the hard earned graduate of a very powerful spiritual nature based program that I have passed (maybe not A+ but I’ll give myself a solid B- because I’m still standing). And I am going to accept that I am now ordained as an official Shaman. ‘Amy the Equestrian Shaman’ … that has a nice ring to it. And I will carry that title with me for the rest of my life; because I doubt there is a real shaman on the planet (who can journey and find out from themselves) who would disagree with that assessment.
As for details on the vision itself, there will be future blogs coming on that subject. For now I’m just trying to catch you guys up a little with what happened, and more importantly what I learned from it, and focus on what is required for my horses and I to take the next steps forward. It took me 2-3 days to fully come out of that experience. Right now I just see it as a story with me as a front and center character, that spirit wanted out there, at whatever cost. For YOU to be influenced by individually as you so feel inclined. Now if St. Petersburg, Russia falls into the ground before the end of the month, I’ll have to revisit that assessment regarding the meaning of my vision quest.
CHANGE
The biggest message I take away from it and this experience, is it is time for courageous change. It’s time to clean house. We need to clean the house of our minds, the house of our families, of our communities and eventually our country. Out of control ego (OOCEGO) has to be exposed and seen for what it is, and if folks refuse to rein that part of themselves in and are breaking the law in particular (even something seemingly as small as perjury, assuming it’s not a mistake, as court is stressful for ALL of us) they HAVE to be held accountable. And the accountability needs to fit the crime (not the one with the most property or liquid cash or the right attorney). Its innocent UNTIL proven guilty … not you are guilty and now we are going to find a way to prove it (especially if you are innocent because that makes us look bad). Because the ONLY way to win spiritual warfare is with clarity and the truth. And right now, the place I’ve been living in, from my perspective is hands down losing that battle.
Fortunately, the place I’ve been living the last two weeks, Gunderson Lutheran Behavioral Health, in LaCrosse, WI is overall winning that fight for the light. I met so many wonderful health care providers. And other than me not wanting to be there and being EXTREMELY worried about and missing my animals; the facility, the agenda of never ending healing activities and opportunities (fitness, outside garden and sports and chalk drawing, meditation, indoor relaxation room, on and on and on); and the wonderful healers of every age truly does provide a bubble of healing strength and self empowerment. I felt more consistently cared about over days on end than I have in a long time. It wasn’t perfect (someday I’ll tell you the story of one doctor and medical fraud) and I still had no desire to stay. As this experience has shown me even more intensely … my animals, the outdoors and freedom are fundamental to me. But if I was going to have to be locked up, that was the place to do it. While I was a correctional officer I thought I knew what jail was. I have a whole new appreciation for it now … but again … we’ll talk more about that later (I have a lot of blogs written and ready to be typed up as I am so inspired and have time.)
NEW EGO TECHNIQUE
The point is, while there I had a fascinating conversation with Alicia during her meditation class. Alicia has a bachelors in psychology and is working on her masters in social work. We were going quite in depth into our favorite authors and teachers regarding new age medicine and psychiatry and techniques for seeing and dealing with the ever illusive ego. I mentioned a technique I’ve recently developed that represents a combination of two concepts, and she was like, ‘I’ve never heard of that before, where did you learn that!?’ And I told her the truth. It was my own creation that I hadn’t even blogged about yet.
Alicia strongly encouraged me to teach it as soon as possible. So even though this topic doesn’t necessarily fit in with this blog, I’m going to go ahead and stick it in here (and you guys can go back and read previous blogs on ego if you need some context).
As I’ve said many times before we all have those two voices in our head; that of ego and that of spirit. Or you can think of it as the angel or the devil on each shoulder. If you are seeking a deep, clear connection with God, you have to be able to decipher between those two voices.
Ego (or Satan) as Jesus said, comes disguised as an angel of light. Reverend Michael Beckwith (of agapelive.com) calls it ‘a virus of the mind.’ What I’ve learned searching my heart’s mind and my head’s mind, wanting to fully control and minimize every aspect of out of control ego (OOCEGO) … is virus’ and angels in disguise are really hard to distinguish. Now OOCEGO doesn’t hang out much in the heart (if the heart is open and flowing), but it does spend a lot of time in our heads, even for the very spiritually connected. That OOEGO will be in the background while they are meditating and praying. However, the minute they get back to normal life (or even while they are speaking) it can jump right into the foreground of your mind and have momentary control.
That doesn’t mean you are going to be murdering innocence (which you will do on some level if OOCEGO is running the show); but it does mean that you may be doing things or putting information out there that is not fully true or beneficial to the whole.
So the method I’ve developed that helps you to quickly and regularly discern what is happening with the energies influencing your mind (i.e. ego and spirit) is as follows. There is a meditation instructor in the U.S. named Rod Stryker. Rod teaches a technique called the screen of the mind. You learn to put up something like an old film white screen background up in your head or just in front of your head while in meditation. And Rod shows you how to depict colors or to allow images or films from spirit to be put on that screen.
Because OOCEGO is so tricky (hiding just behind a thin veiled flag of spirit, constantly pretending to be something it’s not and deceiving the whole world really) that without a very consistent defined methodology its almost impossible to discern between the two. So I line up the two ego energies and the two spirit energies on the white screen of the mind, like little shadow people in a police line up. I divide it up into four energies (though you could certainly just do dark or light or whatever you want).
So there is a shadow line up of black or (OOCEGO); blue shadow person (which is the good ego I’ve blogged a lot about; instinct or the need to survive physically (fight, procreate, feel, eat, etc), white angel shadow person which is spirit as in come down from above and green earth shadow person (which is an energy coming from below or the mother).
So when I do energy clears or chakra clears on myself, animals or people, I use the white light of Christ and the green light of nature. These are the life giving non ego energies that come from above and below). And no, I’m not going to teach that incredible valuable technique a skilled master can do from anywhere, that helped Hunter’s mare Pepita stay strong on day 3 of their bronze medal win.
I’ve been telling you guys … I’ve got some new tools for you. Not just how to have a stronger lower leg and why it’s important. Where are my clinics? Oh yeah, that’s right … I’ve been gone several weeks and probably confused the heck out of more than a few of you. I was in the same place … apparently God has a sense of humor and figured he’d just boggle the brains out of a bunch of us.
Anyway, back to shadow people. So for me, I have to like pull them apart to get them on that police lineup. Especially OOCEGO, or dark shadow man. That guy really does not want to be exposed. He tries to run and hide. And then I focus on each shadow man with my inner eye, and it’s like shining a bright flashlight. So I get a little something back, and it’s quick easy insight.
So lets say I’m thinking spirit, is it wise to use this name in my blog (i.e. I’m asking for guidance like I do about a million times a day, especially lately). So your mind may jump in with an answer immediately, but where did that answer come from? I don’t have 10-20 minutes to meditate to try to find out. I have a pile of stuff to do … I need quick answers coming from the right source. Enter screen of the mind, line up and focus on each shadow person.
OOCEGO is saying no, don’t put that name in here, but he’s all crunched down looking weasley and miserable. I shine my focus a little brighter … poof … and he becomes tiny. I guess I don’t want to listen to him. Blue shadow ego, arms crossed standing tall looking like a strong warrior, nodding up and down yes. With angel shadow I’m getting a gentle head nodding up and down with a smile and a ‘be confident.’ Green shadow is giddy, being silly rolling in the grass saying ‘listen to them’ because this is going to be fun.
I’ve also learned you can do this lineup for other people. You can divide up and look at their four shadow people and discern where they are coming from in regards to you. It’s not a breach of privacy if they are inserting themselves into your life in any way. It’s no different than doing a background check or reading their body language to get to the truth. If they don’t want to be observed energetically in this way they will quickly go away.
And you can read where they were energetically in the past, not just in the present. You can also see how different peoples egos are interacting for insight. A common tactic of a big ape like shadow ego is to grab a cut out image of the soul of a person (an image of their good side) and wave it and hold it like a flag in front of ego. So a husband might take a wife’s flag image and wave it in front of his shadow side to protect his own ego (he has yet to completely rein in) from being seen. Or a partner who is fully ego controlled may put an image of his good side in front so they behave in a manner many love and want to adore and be with, but in reality this person is not genuinely coming from a good place. Ego using small pieces of spirit to hide what it really is, is a common tactic.
Seeing shadow ego, and understanding it, is the best way to learn to control ego. As you look at it and gain clarity, it will shrink so the other three energies can grow and take control of their person’s life back. I am of the opinion for now you do not want to remove shadow ego completely (as I suspect if someone really wanted to they could, at least temporarily).
I’ve just defined the four energies that are working on all of our minds in a way I have never seen before. It doubt it’s a coincidence I’m having to break free from government enforced lock up to make this information public.
Regardless of whether any aspects of my vision have any truth to them or not, I have no doubt that this planet is engaged in energetic warfare that is climaxing and coming to a head. And it is impossible to fight and beat an enemy that you do not see or understand.
Each of these energies are connected to it’s own kind. All spiritual energy is connected and one and all green nature energies are directly tapped into each other thru the mother. All blue good ego has the same universal need and mission to survive and to procreate, and communicates with each other to make that happen; particularly within each species. And all shadow ego has one universal goal, and reaches out to each soul it controls, acting like a ‘virus of the mind’.
Shadow ego seeks to conquer the world. Shadow ego hates spirit and the creator and murders and enslaves the innocent and the strong spiritual warriors so it can maintain control with fear. You can not beat an enemy you do not know or see. We need shadow ego for now (though well under control and reined in), so we can intuit the plans and the movements of the enemy.
As to this this technique I’ve shown you … all I can say is it works. Try it yourself, because we all have a ton of guidance; a direct line to God. But that connection is the single most threatening thing that exists on this planet to evil.
And by the way, as an afterthought, don’t think just because it doesn’t come from shadow ego it is going to be 100% true. God is not a weatherman. If he gave you all the most probably answers 100% of the time life would be pretty boring. He’s more like the Oracle in the Matrix. He’s going to tell you exactly what you need to hear. To keep you moving in the direction that takes you to where you need to go. It’s really annoying sometimes. God is the truth and God knows the truth, but God wants us to trust him and follow his lead … not demand answers that we are not ready to hear. To win this game you’ve got to learn to be flexible, and take it moment by moment, with one ear tuned above.
2023 Father's Day Blog
The Story of My Father, Ron Hunter's Military Service (leading a black ops anti terrorist mission) during the 1988 Olympic Games (& a few other little pertinent horsey industry type things thrown in:)
This is my Dad really young, looking pretty handsome. He and my mother, super model gorgeous in her youth, made quite the couple. But if you look closely you can see this is someone you probably didn't want to screw with.
Dad & Korea
My Dad led a successful black ops way way off the books mission that saved lives against a terrorist attack during the 1988 Olympics in Seoul, South Korea. I could tell you the name of the general he knew well who ordered him to do it (who later became a Presidential Chief of Staff) & told him it would be completely forever off the record (though I won’t) & I could tell you every detail of the event.
Suffice it to say multiple North Korean terrorist teams were infiltrating the Olympic grounds preparing to kill Olympians (& probably spectators as well) just prior to the games. My father was in South Korea for a year in advance, training for the attack the US government seemed certain was coming.
No U.S. soldiers died in the operations (there were two ops, a marine officer friend he played golf with led the other one) but EVERY terrorist was executed at the engagement that happened on the Olympic grounds. There were no prisoners taken because there was to be no evidence of the event that might cause world wide uproar and or panic.
This is the military funeral we had in June of 2022. He died in February, but my mom and I just couldn't handle people and public grieving at that point. So he was cremated as he always wanted, and we waited until June, his birthday and fathers day, to host the military funeral and the celeration of life. This is my mom Diane and me and my younger sister Laura and brother Ben at the military funeral in Springfield, IL.
Losing Him
I know this story thoroughly because I had to finally pull it out of him (after hearing bits and pieces over the years he trusted his oldest child with) and listen to my dad painfully retell it & document it for the Department of Veteran Affairs (along with a few other thousand pages of paperwork my Mom filled out) so the VA could basically completely ignore helping us financially, until my father was long gone.
Dad was haunted by it the event his entire life. He, as the ranking officer, was left with the task of point blank shooting in the head captured young men he assumed had families (probably being manipulated, brain washed & or forced by their corrupt communist government to commit the act) on the Olympic grounds so that some of you could safely enjoy competition & world wide recognition … & the affluence that almost always goes with that level of success.
It was so bad for him at the end that my mother & I practically joined him physically & emotionally. While trying to maintain a somewhat normal life & keep a 200 pound man, whose body completely froze up over a years time alive, somewhat functioning & in one piece as long as possible.
We dealt with him falling down daily for months and months on end, furious & frustrated with his situation to the point of being suicidal, & slowly unable to do anything but to be completely bed ridden & not even be able to talk or drink or eat. So that it was a relief when he finally just let go & took his last breath while laying in a hospital bed in the small tv room in his farmhouse (with me, my Mom & our CNA Heather there with him … my mother & I sobbing over his body).
The only other scene I've ever seen or felt like it was watching Niall's mom at the funeral in Lexington holding on to him & uncontrollably wailing (a mother unexpectedly losing her young, AMAZING, physically distant but one of the great joys of her life, I'm sure … son.) It's a feeling and an image one never forgets.
My mother had to use her OWN money to hire what local help she could afford (again, the angel in human form named Heather) so we could just barely survive the whole ordeal. This HERO of a lifetime decorated military officer, family man, big hearted horse (& all of nature LOVING) good guy; that the wealthiest country in the world basically financially tossed aside (with his family) at the end. A man whose father & grandfather served in both World war 1 & 2 & whose grandfather & great grandfather were both Senators & Congressmen in the State of Illinois for decades.
& we wonder why I don't celebrate veterans day or memorial day? (& I'm a veteran myself technically … tho I'd attribute my real service to this country mostly to what I was put thru moving constantly as a kid, & by what i've done for this sport).
Because it's total bull shit. If you want to honor these warriors don't give them a few days kind of (how does that really help veterans?) … stop putting them through bureaucratic hell to avoid taking care of them and that saves a few pennies when it's time to pay them back for giving everything to their country.
He left us way earlier than he should have because of chemically induced Parkinson’s Disease caused by his military service. The Covid he caught at the end in spite of all the required vaccines simply sped the process up. Which was already on overdrive due to his body being poisoned while working as a chemical officer for decades & being exposed to agent orange & God only knows what else thrown over the fence while sitting in South Korea in the Demilitarized Zone for a year training to save Olympians.
Our US military used him & hid the results of his service … they kept it a secret even though in truth it is a HUGE story (that a retired general no doubt COULD confirm).
Kind of like the professional Wellington crowd of hunter-jumper horse show land … a large powerful organization of supposed heroes that likes to large scale keep BIG secrets (no matter how much it hurts the little guy … even if they are exceptional & honorable & risking everything to be that person in the face of huge dangerous odds that ultimately save these guys the supposed exceptional’s butts..)
Not that a terrorist attack from a tiny country like North Korea that publically murdered Olympians & unraveled the 1988 Olympics would be embarrassing to the Global Community (& potentially start a World War). Or the largest, most powerful country in the world not winning a single medal in the Sport of Kings on its own turf, even with its best riders and wealthiest sponsors scouring the planet & only buying the top already completely proven & made horses that exist..
NONE of which we've bred, even though we've been breeding & have had a stockpile of the fastest long distance race horses on the globe for the past 100 years … alot of which happen to jump quite well. Even after they are retired as two to four year olds who have mostly had their minds & bodies completely destroyed by an industry that only cares about money so runs & pounds the hell out of them while they are still infants & their bones are barely set. That is if the best of them are fortunate enough to outlive the onslaught of drugs & corruption they are subjected to so that say possibly 8 of them at a little event like the Kentucky Derby don’t mysteriously drop dead. They outta start calling it the Kentucky Killer.
So even the most clueless of non horsey U.S. citizens are horrified & going ‘hey, you are a horse person … what the hell is going on over there with those poor beautiful sweet baby race horses? In an industry of what's appearing to be 'obviously something is really not quite right here?' & we wonder why the real horseman that actually love the animals over what they can provide us (& STILL kick butt competitively) are large scale driven out?
It does not paint a pretty picture regarding the most powerful & elite of our supposedly democratic human society.
This is the military cemetary in Sringfrield Illinois. My Dad was such a wonderfully modest simple man in so many ways (though extremely intelligent and complicated in the internal demons he fought as well) ... he didin't even care about a military funeral. He just wanted his ashes thrown to the wind somewhere on the farm. I never had to worry about gifts because a $10 movie DVD or a Dad or horse wherever we happened to travel to Tshirt (he loved the Justify one I bought him after he won the triple crown) and he was happy as a clam. But my mom and I decided he deserved a little more. So put we buried a third of his ashes under the tombstone in Springfield (I would have loved to have had him in Arlington with the driving horses funeral but too far); spread a third of them under the tree on the farm where he buried the two first dead but perfectly formed twin foals Vennie produced that just broke his heart (before I fully understood the importance of an early ultrasound) and sent a third of his ashes home to the Colorado mountains with Ben, which my Dad loved skiiing in so much.
Dad saving the lives of U.S. Equestrian Show Jumping Olympians (and possibly their equally if not more famous horses) … Greg and Gem Twist, Ann and Starman, Joe and MIll Pearl and Lisa and For the Moment
But I digress. So anyway … just for fun I looked up what equestrians I might have known whose ass my regular guy dad … (follow orders & drag your family all over the world wherever & whenever they tell you, collect a decent but not terribly life altering paycheck every two weeks & never take a penny more you haven't earned. Even when there is a bag of millions of terrorist cell cash you just squashed sitting right in front of you in South Korea; who your Marine golfing friend grabbed in his mission and then he basically mysteriously disappeared from military life; or maybe all life in general. & in spite of a stellar mind blowing military career do whatever job it takes to keep the money flowing after retirement; high school science teacher, truck driver, even Viroqua taxi driver making $8 an hour at the end, not willing to give up working til his body got so bad that he ran his old farm truck (because he couldn’t afford to buy a new one) thru a building downtown & HAD to quit driving) … saved.
The U.S. Olympians who he almost certainly kept from being machine gun mowed down or blown up grenade style (as these same powerful elitists helped to drive his top professional daughter out of the sport by ignoring the obvious George deception towards her that kept him from EVER seeing his families total financial security, & worried about paying the indoor off right up to his death bed).
Let's see … silver team medals for Greg Best & Gem Twist (back when we use to know how to ride American thoroughbred blood Internationally …those two were worth saving); Ann Kursinski (no comment on the politics because like everyone else in Wellington i don't remember ever hearing her publicly say, 'Hey, George knows who Amy is, 100% guaranteed, because i definitely know who she is even tho I’ve never even met her before.'
I am sorry for the crap Ann had to endure as a kid from the old boys club child molesters, but we sure rectified that, didn't we? & I do appreciate her bringing Sue K. on board as her long time helper. Sue who was kind enough to educate me to the fact that we needed to be spending about 4 hours after every Grand Prix on basic spa style maintenance on Cradilo (icing every limb, professional massage & acupuncture, all manner of magical expensive energetic devices, & basically anything one can think of to keep this horse comfy & going just a little while longer), so she was definitely worth saving …
& oh … this one makes me laugh … Joseph Fargis. My one long time childhood hero who as it turns out is-was great friends with George & just absolutely loves Amy (NOT) … even though they don't know who I am.
Joe himself schooled me for about an hour on the importance of keeping full buckets of fresh water in front of your horses every second & about 3 feet of bedding in the stall even with full thick rubber matts (ANY shavings strike me as a luxury in that scenario … my horses are still sleeping better than I am) in Wellington.
After I waltzed in (in 2011) for 24 hours for the Young Horse Series with my two 4 year old Cradilo mares. & handily beat his student with both of them on her 4 year old with him standing at the in gate. & then he had to watch me do the same thing in the 5 year old Young Jumper Championship Final the following year in Kentucky (destroying some of our very best International riders, one of whom had worked under him for years, effortlessly leading the class for 2 out of 3 days at least). I saw you standing over there ringside watching us in Lexington … looking ornery.
The first thing he said to me in Wellington (before he had a chance to make a phone call to George & find out I was at the top of the underline in red list, no doubt) was, 'Who the hell are YOU?!'
What is this … US army basic training with Joe as a drill sergeant with a hard hat, a crop & a whistle & me as a 12 year pony clubber leaving home with her horsey for the first time? Talk about a rude awakening to Wellington reality.
Well … you can't win em all obviously. Tho I sure tried … I told him I couldn't afford to spend $2000 on bedding for one night of competition with two horses or to keep two grooms guarding the stalls & running to dump & refill water buckets every 20 minutes all night. (& I was thinking even though I really do believe in the need to stay on top of the water … just ask some of my lax past local Viroqua working students I didn’t hesitate to instantly fire over that exact issue … horses in the wild do go for days on end without water & travel miles to find it when it's sparse).
I'll tell you what … I kissed his ass & worked on flattering him via his virtual mentoring of me & my love of Touch of Class (the thoroughbred mare he won the Individual Gold on in the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics) more than any other single non-straight (I'm assuming) human man I've ever met.
Thinking about it now, since you may not still be alive Joe if it wasn't for my Dad … Ron Hunter … you might wanna rethink that attitude towards me. Especially given recent events with his daughter coaching us to a bronze medal for our sport this past year.
Sorry, I don’t know Lisa Jacquin at all. Though I do think I may have seen her at Horse Shows by the Bay one time and maybe saw her on a nice 5 year old young stallion at the Young Horse Series in Wellington. I’m not 100% sure. It's a name I grew up hearing (along with For the Moment), so you pay attention when you see them at a horse show (especially other than Wellington, where you are inundated by the rich and famous every which way you turn.)
I wonder if George coached that 1988 team? Wouldn't that be the ultimate in universal irony? I don't have time to look it up now … & I don't even want to know really … not yet. I've seen enough, & I can almost guarantee one of you will tell me at the next show.
Anyway, who'd of thunk the Old Olympic Boys Club (minus George) would have to consider welcoming Amy & her Cradilo babies back in from Viroqua, Wisconsin after barely seeing a single rated horse show for almost 6 years. Ah … the Lord (& Niall) sure do work in mysterious ways.
This is a picture of Dad and Calue, my first hotter than hell little appendix quarter horse I did the jumpers with as a kid (and even did a Fran Dotoli clinic on … I’ll tell you that really funny story some other time.) I’m sure this picture makes a whole bunch of you cringe … like it sort of does me. Hey, at least he’s got a mild bit in his mouth. I guarantee I wasn’t around for this shot. I tried so hard to turn my Dad into a good horseman and rider. Things got better as we got into getting him a few nice ott thoroughbreds to ride. Somewhere there is a really great picture of him looking fantastic on his favorite gorgeous thoroughbred mare Abby (nice riding clothes, nicely tacked up in his lovely saddle he inherited from Erik as I was probably the one that tacked her up, with his mom, Grandma Margaret, that I’ll dig out sometime). There will be facebook posts and pictures every year I’m sure around this time. Anyway, once I was off to college and California, my Dad loved having free rein of Calue (because he certainly never did when I was around). My brother loves torturing me with stories of how they all jumped on Calue bareback (without my permission) and galloped him around ruining every drop of the carefully decade long settling and training I eventually had into this horse that basically raised me. We owned Calue (who Dad bought me at the age of 11 when the horse was 12) until I HAD to put him down at the young age of 34 years old. The horse broke his back leg on the farm when he was 24 years old I think, shattering his entire pastern, but my amazing Milwaukee vet at the time Dr. Beverly somehow managed to patch him back up to even being pleasure ridable. This horse saw the best life any animal could ever imagine. He was 100% a full on beloved member of the family. So any of you who have tried to push around the idea that I abuse my horses and don’t 100% love them with ALL of my heart, can take a ride on Pink’s love boat in her video I recently facebook posted … the ‘SS F… Y.. !’ And by the way, I’m convinced (along with a few of my more aware family members), that Kalua’s Ace is my first ever horse Calue reincarnated into the amazing gorgeous animal I always wished and dreamed he was as a kid. My Dad and I spent what felt like 20 minutes (maybe 5-10) pulling Kalua (aka Junior … do you get the barn name now?) out of his tb damn Glory, because he was so big at birth. I had a rope on one leg and dad had a rope on the other. We both pulled the entire time with our full weight breaking into a dead sweat, collapsing at the end. I was SURE the foal or Glory was going to be dead or certainly have both legs broken. But nope, he just popped up (probably before me and dad could get up) and looked fantastic. Only an Irish Sport Horse man (a thoroughbred foal would have been broken in half) … and we wonder why I love the breed? Anyway, I hate to say it but regardless of the talent that horse shows or what he has to go through as a green 14 year old Grand Prix horse with me trying to get back to it, there is no longer enough money on the planet for any of you to ever get your hands on this one (though I may let a few of my more favorite people, hmm, I wonder who would be on the top of that list?, really show me what they’ve got and try to get this monster around his first few big open classes. Though I bet that idea being publicly displayed gives her mom a mild heart attack. You didn’t have a clue what you were getting into buying Deluca … did you Brandie? Don’t worry … neither did. I was just hoping for soon to be easy instant fame and wealth as a breeder and developer as you and Momma and Hunter sky rocketed to the Olympics … and helping out a super cool kid I really liked and was blown away by didn’t seem to be too bad an idea either. Though I have to admit after i got the text minutes after I sold her to you from an Ocala trainer that had been watching her all season I had initially quoted a $2million sale price to, asking what my bottom line price was and hoping to hear a little lower number, the sale I had just made to you with a number about 2 digits lower started to seem like it might have been a bad idea, especially for the purpose of my investors watching every move I made. If only I had known what the next 6 years or so were going to bring. Yeah, before you go crazy full on psycho kill or destroy the poor innocent horseeman investors, you need to remember NOTHING fast happens in Equestrian Show Jumping. Hang in there ... because I know a few of my past clients and supporters are starting to wish they did. Although I'm guesssing those that may own any horse I had anything to do with might be starting to feel pretty good right about now.
This one is self explanatory. My Dad and Laura and Ben; and I was probably about 18ish? Mom was constantly dressing us up and making us take pictures ... I hated it alot of the time (though I look pretty happy here). And I still do hate it for the most part ... and now they all like to do it.
Talking to George & the industry
& by the way, George a-hole sellouts who are supposedly well paid & educated that put hundreds of pages of defamation on the internet on me that devastated & tore apart my family in a way I don't know if we will EVER fully recover & be the same from … if I want to believe my father was a part of a religious rapture that's been happening over the last few years & Covid is a sign & omen of, because i believe we are in a form of a Biblical Revelations style Apocalypse, then that is MY RIGHT.
It is called FREEDOM OF RELIGION & is the primary reason this COUNTRY EXISTS; for your elite asses to rape, take advantage of & run its people into the ground for whatever excuse you can find so you can become a little richer & more powerful.
All you MORONIC IDIOTS did with that slew of documented defamation that leads DIRECTLY back to your boss is hang him, by securing a win for me in a sure to be soon coming lawsuit. & I don't care what country you are hiding in or what power you think is protecting you George, unless you want to be extradited to U.S. prison (with potentially a few of your far younger but equally famous friends … you are going to show up, or take the far less painful path out & settle for EVERY PENNY I WANT.)
& I'll tell you another thing. I strongly suggest you spend another few hundred thousands of dollars (at least, maybe millions at this point) on me legally, and hire a new team of attorneys. Because MINE who is paid ridiculously less SO FAR (believe me) is going to wipe the floor with them. & if I can I'm going to find a way to ruin every one of their reputations (or maybe deport a few of your close financial and marketing advisors, one of whom I suspect use to be my student) for illegally attacking and professionally & personally destroying a good guy average ish poor, again so far, U.S. citizen to keep a (by my grace) free child molesting murderer & his friends in power & wealthy.
& i'm going to talk to everyone else now … Wellington. If a SINGLE ONE OF YOU stand in the way of these clinics of mine I'm promoting, which I KNOW will transform the sport in this country (because frankly I was only operating at about 10% as a coach in the world cup finals thanks to all the obstacles you put between me & Hunter, & we still killed it against the best in the world & had em really worried for a minute there) I'm going to just lop you right in with George. As a matter of fact, you should be hanging flyers up at every horse show you go to (management included), telling all your friends, giving me the thumbs up, and telling them my price is a GREAT DEAL (compared to what most of you have or would ever charge) and the best thing going since sliced bread.
Because I don't think you really want to be in George’s corner right now. You guys like to win. And you are pretty good at spotting a clear winning or losing competition. Given the way things are going and with what my future probably looks like politically (because I seriously doubt anyone I don't want there, from an ethics or fake buy your way into top horsemanship standpoint, no matter how good they once were or seemed to be, is going to be on ANY INTERNATIONAL TEAMS EVER AGAIN.)
So if Brandie & Hunter want to pay me a TINY amount (compared to what I MADE SURE they just won, and they possibly made on my mare they sold); because I just transformed their entire world; because they were smart enough to notice a true horseman and a mind blowing horse, & kind enough to take us in, then believe me when I say YOU BETTER FRICKEN LET THEM! Because if you don’t (even encourage it I would say, like yesterday would be nice) I’M GOING TO FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE and start giving you a tiny little taste of what your kind have been doing to me for decades. They DO NOT NEED a pile of you giving them hell or even threatening their safety, as I strongly suspect.
As I said to George … you Wellington are no longer in charge. You lost that right when you demonstrated your total disregard for honor, your profound capacity for a shocking level of deception regarding the masses, & your complete rampant out of control ego. USEF is ultimately run by good guys, & they are behind me. For good reason. You are going to run the entire sport and industry into the ground, and probably the entire world considering the kind of power you have. Especially if the tactics I’ve been coming up against are what you are using to run your business … as I also strongly suspect.
Spirit really doesn't care about who has the most money… you should know that by now. You didn't create this world … power comes from above. That's why mine is finally skyrocketing (as I always knew it would because this is what I came to this world to do) … in spite of your collective piles of money.
If i'm not around
If I’m not around, Hunter & Brandie (& guess who else?) Dennis is in charge. Dennis, then Brandie, then Hunter is the military style ranking order … though that is a pliable scenario depending on how things go. We all lived under George for years … you should understand this concept.
We're going to start bringing Ocala into this loop a little bit. Because every time it produces something decent you guys just take it as if it's your accomplishment (horses & people). I know Wellington isn't going anywhere (although don't test my power too much … I better start having some very pleasant experiences with the horse show management or a whole lot of folks could lose some serious money on West Palm area property value) … but you need to share a little bit.
Ocala is becoming an increasingly nicer & nicer place (I'm told). It's extremely horse friendly, & they deserve a real shot at the International world. I'm talking about more than one FEI week while you have ALL the rest, more than one or two riders, and the ability to sell expensive horses without driving to & having to deal with Wellington. AND guess what else? … here it comes, an International Olympic Coaching Team.
Because you guys have had it forever & have made a HUGE mess of things. & I'm not talking about medals (although we haven't been that particularly impressive for a while now). I'm talking about basic human decency & safety. If people keep mysteriously dying even MORE than have been lost people are going to start going to prison. I promise you. & I don't care how much money or fame you have, or how many of you secretly know or get together & decide it is a good idea (literally stabbing your 'friends' in the back in the most brutal & horrific of ways).
You think you are civilized & sophisticated & classy because of your money & horses & the ability to compete them & be surrounded by beauty & luxury? Those of you committing these acts are primitive beasts. A veneer of pretty doesn't change that basic fact. You fight so hard to keep it all (while people like me are fine with being in the dark mud for a while) because it hides the truth of who you currently are.
IT IS NOW OVER …. AS ORDAINED BY A HIGHER POWER other than me. That should be pretty fricken obvious by now; even to the completely enshrouded in darkness clueless as to what's actually going on in this universe. You are being given a chance to do the right thing BEFORE you have to face your creator. & you will face him. & i'm going to tell you right now you are going to be SHOCKED to discover who some of his top people are sitting right beside him. Testing, testing … things are not as they may seem … who are you REALLY?
This is my Dad probably just recently retired from running the UW LaCrosse ROTC program (and his military career) fixing up the farm. This place right now is pretty fricken gorgeous (most of the time when I can keep up with my end) but getting it there was no small task. I was gone in California for most of it, but my parents and Ben dug in and got the job done. That’s what good guys do … they work hard and fix things and make them better when they are given the opportunity ... for everyone.
Help … or move
So either be helpful or get the hell out the way (‘Move Bitch’ … as one of my favorite Ludacris songs likes to say). & don't EVER try to get between Hunter and I again. I love that kid (obviously, look at what I’ve done.) She's incredible … the real deal … & I'm going to make sure she gets every shot at the VERY top … not the third place status, some of your cluelessness and ego getting in the way, top. Because she has earned it … & has learned the meaning of the word INTEGRITY. Try following her lead … it's a good one … as i'm pretty sure she's going to follow mine (& whoever else I pick to help).
I'm a horse trainer … do you want the carrot or the 20,000 volt pig taser, because you are a stubborn temporarily insane stallion that doesn't seem to be accepting reality and thinking clearly right now?
I'm a good trainer. We can partner & come together & do amazing things … or I'll keep making life really hard for you (& a few others can join George … like you TRULY deserve … not this chance I’m giving you … or spirit really … working through me). Because we need good partners. I'm looking for great grand prix horses man … the best in the world. But you only need to toss me into a few big hard jumps, after years of care & training, before I'm going to find something else. Performance is the name of the game … which is about strength & ability & TRUST. Who wants to ride a horse they can't trust?
Pull it together U.S. hunter-jumper industry. Stop fighting one of the best things that's ever happened to you (the Hunters). I'm going to prove it … there are going to be a lot more than words moving around and competing in my world soon. & if I can't still somewhat continuously impress you, you can get rid of my ass as a leader & find someone better. And I’ll gracefully bow out (without blowing up the entire sport and industry).
Even without the money sitting in the bank (yet) & the blackballed disappearance, I am still one of you as an American horseman. Get over the loss of George. In spite of the horror of his & his crew's obnoxious EVIL behavior … he's sitting somewhere comfortably I’m sure. I'm not going to take ALL of his money. I know I'm a protege of his on some level as a show jumping trainer and rider … I guess I can painfully admit that. But he's had his time … too much of it. & what he did to me & a pile of others was brutally viciously wrong. & he is NOT going to FULLY get away with it.
Because we (the U.S.) are NOT a kingdom or a monarchy. We fought to remove ourselves from the tyranny of elitist royalty. We are the HARD EARNED USE TO BE WORTHY LEADERS OF THE DEMOCRATIC WORLD … which is without a doubt the most enlightened, fairest style of government that exists. Everything else is comfortable (or uncomfortable) slavery. We are NOT (supposed to be) a primitive ego controlled third world country that thugs around with machine guns & mows down and steals what it wants from the innocent.
Anyway, back to horses. Can we please get some good American breds (other than my handful) going here? I know we need the European horses (Cradilo, Pepita) but can we work towards getting a little something of our own back? Support these U.S. breeders & our own horseman just a tiny bit more. Some of you top riders spend the time to develop them. Babies need good riders too (in that way Shane …you are OK:)
& let me help. It's called clinics. I'm telling you man …there is no luck happening here. I know exactly how to do it & many of you are still screwing it up … in spite of my & Lisa & Shane’s lead (& there are probably a few others … oh yeah … Alex's young jumper comeback was pretty impressive; Colt USA I think it is … I can’t remember his name right now, the other Grand Prix rider that starts babies but he wrote a book … that’s ambitious … although I haven’t had the time or money to buy or read it. I think I’m doing pretty well on my own though … sorry. The Kudmores of course … although statistically you guys need to improve on producing Grand Prix horses last time I checked; and I’ve heard some scary stories about some of your management practices regarding the home farm and your babies (no offense … I do love Karen and Southern Pride and I should probably stick her on my list of trainers, if she doesn’t mind, under credentials … even though it was only one or two light schools).
Anyway, EVERY pro needs to stop messing up these beautiful babies we keep getting our hands on. Put your ego aside & learn to do it right. Competing on made & developing equine talent are two completely different skills. We ALL need to be able to do both (at least try if you are under the age of 40).
Conclusion
OK… I think I'm done for a while. You guys can all take a breath (the ones who aren’t looking probably yet again at what it would cost to get a hitman into a remote farm in Viroqua, WI. Maybe the next time will work out. I mean how many assassination attempts on Amy is God really willing to stop? We’ve gotten away with so many. NONE IS HOW MANY WILL WORK. And a few years of prison might not really be that bad. IT IS … TRUST MY PAST EXPERIENCE WITH WORKING IN ONE, & THINK ABOUT IT. Surely we could find SOME fall guy other than George … he’s not going to be around that much longer.
Anyway, I'm exhausted from these last couple of blogs. I need to go feed some horses (clean their well straw bedded stalls, I promise, dump & fill some water buckets I pray aren’t empty) & ride em (in between grooming, shoeing, dragging rings & setting jumps, oh yeah, & working my other part time job occasionally so we can all stay fed).
So that one of you can win our first U.S. bred International medal in forever on a few of them someday soon here. God knows I'm not going to be doing it for a while (if ever.)
It's gotten kind of xtra hard thanks to an attack that finally reached right into my backyard with people who I thought were loyal to the death to me; so that the very idea of a working student or two makes me break into a cold sweat. Hopefully I can sell a future world beater & industry game changer for more than 5 cents (so u guys can make a 100,000 percent return & I can stay stuck in financial disaster with a loss of millions of every penny I ever made or could get out of any one else in the genuine belief in & hopes of a real future business over the past few decades). That sounds fun.
Maybe I'll just forget this whole idea, keep my head in the sand, keep trail riding them & hang on to them as pets (until the defamation lawsuit with George finalizes at least). Then i'll probably just go buy a Caribbean island with lots of nice green pasture, a hammock with a view of the sea & a private horse friendly jet. I could drag Mom along & perhaps that'll make her happy (because the island will be small enough that we won't need fencing or to mow or weed wack as the horses eat it all.)
I don't think Dad would fully approve of that path though … (he was a pretty intense powerful leader & go-getter for 99% of his life) … but oh yeah … that IS the ENTIRE POINT of this Fathers Day blog.
I can tell you one thing FOR SURE … I'm not the only one that owes him a 'thanks Dad' for ALWAYS being there (even when we were locking horns; he could be an ornery character). Because in spite of it all I sure do love & miss you in my life EVERY DAY.
So Happy Father's Day Dad … I hope you are FINALLY getting to see a glimmer of the hope of success we had always dreamed of for our family through the horses we had so much fun with together (most of the time, when we weren’t working our butts off and spending everything to take care of them) and I hope/know you & Niall & Nancy & Stephen are having a fantastic ride on all of the so very many beautiful and talented horses we put in the ground on this farm over the decades.
Dad happy on the farm picking apples. He sure loved this place. He finally had some peace. And below is him and his still living brothers (Uncle Gary has passed away and I suppose he and Dad are probably playing golf together) in their final time together a few months before his passing (Uncle BJ, Uncle Jeff and Uncle Mike). Uncle Mike said he wanted to see Dad before things got too bad so his final memory of him could be them having a beer at the farmhouse kitchen table together (any of you who have been to Ledges lately while I was there have seen and possibly even met Uncle Mike and Aunt Val. As far as family and horse shows go, they are definitely some of my still living biggest fans. And you got your wish, didn’t you Uncle Mike:)
June 2023 Blog ...
'A Short Happyish Story Time Blog (I promise) on Acknowledging the Lineage of Horsemanship, the Ethics of Sportsmanship and the Midstates Horse Show'
Backstory
After Niall Grimes, the top Irish trainer who first genuinely 'saw' (Avatar style) & encouraged Cradilo & I in 2006, died of a 'heart attack' in October at the age of 31 in peak athletic physical condition at a horse show in Lexington, Kentucky practically right under my nose (in 2007, the first year of our-my real grand prix career) … I was lost. Because he definitely represented that which was our potentially hopeful and helpful future … on multiple levels.
From a rider’s perspective things were pretty bad for Niall that year (his business however, as far as I could tell, was doing fantastically & absolutely on fire.) He was planning to meet us at Trader's that summer (a big show in Indianapolis) but instead had a brutal accident in a Grand Prix jump off in Lexington in the Spring & severely messed up his knee & basically lost his top horse Mr. President (as he later told me they were both hauled out of the ring in an ambulance.)
Fortunately, I met Dennis at Traders & he gracefully came to our rescue at that show ... & helped us to make a very impressive one dumb nervous rookie rider rail debut in a big grand prix with all the top riders & a few of my long time favorites in it. Beezie & Margie & a young up and coming Charlie were in it; Chris & David & other notable names I might keep remembering & adding. Most of which many of you will recognize. Just think of international medals and that should cover at least half of them, except maybe mine until a few months ago. Kent was there a lot … tho I can't remember on that year, but probably … maybe Andre.
You get the idea … it ran a tad competitive for a 37 year old first real time rookie grand prix rider on an irish draught stallion in his first 6 months of EVER seeing ANY rated hunter- jumper show. (But according to a rumor that’s been going around for years George has no idea of who my horses and I are. Yeah … that's totally viable to ANYONE with even half a clue ... just on that performance ALONE.)
And we were just out of the ribbons in 13th place.
BUT just prior, when Niall knew he wasn't going to be there (with me freaking out slightly ... if I had known who was actually going to be in that class I probably would have had a heart attack myself and all of George's problems would have been gone), he had recommended I ride with his good friend Scott Lenkart. And please don't be insulted by that joke. Niall is with me everyday ... he never stopped being my trainer ... or none of this would have happened. Believe me. Well anyway, after Niall’s passing Dennis was not in my area but Scott sure was.
He was on one of those rare really impressive winning streaks you occasionally see at the National Grand Prix level (though I've noticed they get to the almost never status the bigger & harder the Prixs get). So for a while there I clung to Scott as the trainer on the ground at every horse show we were at together; a little like a baby clings to her blanket when you take her out of the crib for the first time.
Scott was the trainer who truly impressed upon me the importance & value of the deep distance with a horse like Cradilo RID. It was a rare warm up with Scott standing at the jump that I didn’t hear the repeated resoundingly belted single word 'deeper!' … galloping up to almost every big fence on my (ok our) beautiful 17.1 hand 1500 pound monster of an Irish Draught stallion.
The same way I never took a lesson from Niall that didn't involve the increasingly toying command 'eyes up Amy!' in that gorgeous Irish accent at least 5 times (both of which have stayed with me, & Niall's phrase of which has taken on a whole new meaning since he's left).
I then SAW the legacy of Scott & Cradilo (and the deep distance), gently offered repeatedly as an option by me (over the years to Brandie and Hunter, first with Momma and then Pepita), clearly being used & working extremely well in Hunter’s final World Cup ride this past April. We horseman are propelled forward under a lineage of trainers & horses. We carry a pedigree of learning, the same way our horses carry a pedigree of DNA, from person to person & horse to horse.
The point is I definitely attribute my current somewhat enlightened state to a large & vast group of trainers & horses from all corners & over many, many decades & years, along with the very unique to the Grand Prix level of my sport path I’ve been on. All of which sort of came to a climax as Cradilo & I were working to become somewhat solid in the Grand Prix ring (& not an anomaly in a don’t blink or you might miss it kind of presence, which was the most likely scenario). Because I can tell you getting that stallion & I somewhat consistent at that level was no small or easy task. It was at times painful, humiliating (good for keeping the old ego in check, which some of you men in particular who disappear after one unpleasant ride with a big audience should take note of) … & it took a village.
So when I say the best of American horsemanship is yet to be seen (& own a motto of ‘Soulfully Producing the best of the American-Irish’), I'm not just talking about me. Though I may in truth be one of the current most full collective libraries walking around (out of the pure absolute necessity of gathering information and putting it to the test over the years) not spending every spare moment in the Grand Prix ring. It's hard to tell … because many of the top grand prix riders would rather ride than teach or coach I’ve noticed (and they have full on earned that option some of us haven't had the success or opportunity/luxury to yet enjoy:).
Acknowledgement
I've always acknowledged the trainers that have helped me to learn anything of value. Even the ones that have deceptively worked hard at ruining my career & almost every good relationship I’ve ever had, including the business I’ve refused to sell out on (but that has cost me everything else) & thus pretty much ruining my overall life. It almost certainly would have been kinder to have just put me down in many ways (though who knows how many times they've tried; I’ve been pretty hard to get to in recent years & I have a lot of guardian angels).
But I STILL leave their names on my website under Amy Hunter, credentials, as trainers I’ve ridden under (a page I have updated a little but that I need to keep working on). Why? As an example to my students of how important it is to acknowledge the skill & help that basically saves your butt in this sport … because NO ONE gets to the highest level on their own. & that ethical sportsmanship like honorable acknowledgement is not about ego … it's about the truth. That light that ultimately saves all of us.
Nothing makes me feel prouder than a student/protégé having the courage to behave honorably (even prouder than a medal for her country in a world championship on home turf). Even if the most important & powerful people in her life are making a legitimate case to her as to why it’s risky on multiple levels, & a bad professional strategy (though obviously that’s a case I strongly disagree with). Though I must admit I suspect she has a few almost equally powerful Amy blog admirers in her ear as well (thank God).
And they are STILL trying to keep one of the biggest stories of the year (kind of paramount to winning our only international medal in 2023) under wraps … these guys continuingly working really hard to keep an even bigger story buried I suppose. Hmmm … It seems like there might be some powerful, kind of scary force at play here, doesn't it?
I wonder how much has been paid out (under the guise of interesting sponsorships & creative advertising) to make all this happen? George, you might as well just settle with me … because I foresee you and your crew trying to keep all this under wraps becoming possibly very never endingly expensive. Damn that blog … how much would it cost to blow up all access to the public internet by anyone who is not at least at 100 millionaire status and on the right list of names? ANYWHO …
So in her own way Hunter has taken that hard path that goes against the current stream & forges coal into diamonds (& crushes the fake fool’s gold into dust, as I've seen happen so many times with students who dream of greatness but crumble under real pressure & the lure of greed). That path that will create the new leaders that save our world … & are actually WORTHY of being followed (there’s a novel concept).
Not because of money or fame … but because of heart tempered by integrity. That is true greatness. & that is what our horses & the pursuit of excellence on them is here to teach us; by minimizing our ego, & maximizing our strength & the desire to actually care about & partner with something other than ourselves; another God created species.
VIDEOS
This is the video of Cradilo and I in that first Trader’s Grand Prix in 2007. I remember Dennis having a small meltdown because I was trying to count and ride 12 strides to the last jump & slightly missing after a beautiful & shocking grand prix ride. Because that's how confident I was in my ability to find a decent distance off my eye at that time (& clueless as to how bad an idea that was).
That's how I knew Dennis Mitchell was a real horse trainer. I just met this man & had the best ride of my life my first time in the real 1.50m grand prix ring on a rookie 14 year old disabled retired breeding stallion that no one believed could do it 6 months ago (as we were plopping around 1.20m at the Ledges winter indoor) riding against folks I've been admiring from afar forever; & he's already annoyed that I didn't help my horse enough. This is definitely someone that's going to bring out the try harder & as Dennis likes to say 'ride better' aspect of my performance.
Oops ... sorry guys ... it turns out this video is not on youtube but is on an actrual tape (yeah, we are talking about 2007). I'll dig it out eventually and put it here, but it's going to take little time. At least you still have the narative ... so we can create a little anticipation!:)
This is Cradilo and I in a Grand Prix at Traverse City, Michigan in 2008 with Scott schooling us (there he is in white by the in gate).
I really liked this show back when the Reinheimers were running it & it was Horse Shows by the Bay … & Traverse City truly IS amazing. Hopefully new management hasn't done to this show what they did to Trader's. Because I went from loving that event to … eanh … not so much enjoying it anymore. We'll see I guess … :)
When I listen to this song I put to this class (one of our typical one rail early rides, but one which was quite pretty) I realize at this point I was sort of like Frodo the hobbit leaving the Shire for the first time. With NO IDEA of the dark eye that was watching me & the powerful ghost like forces he commanded (which had already started to be unleashed, whether I knew it or not).
& here's the song that I hope represents me and Cradilo's kid's now …
Anyway, the Midstates (Mason City, Iowa) Horse Show was definitely a part of making that learning experience really fun (probably a little too much fun for what were supposed to be respectable athletes some years) … & made the whole adventure at times somewhat affordable (if we were in the top money at least ).
That show happening now and wrapping up as I’m writing this blog (without me seeing red towards the entire sport) is I'm guessing why I'm feeling nostalgic. What goes around sure does come back around (as the dust & outcome of the past war starts to settle).
So yep, if all goes as planned, I'll see you guys at the Midstates Horse Show this September … fingers crossed riding in the Grand Prix rather than spectating (which is why I wasn't particularly motivated or even close to ready on any level to being there this week).
But I’ve even firmed it up (& a few other things) on my schedule for the fall at least … though I hope I don’t regret that move. So good luck today guys in the prix that's hopefully happening. Even if I’m not there YET my thoughts are with you … :)
